Personally, I can't see how any doctor can diagnose this problem without the nerve testing being done. While the symptoms are indicative of the problem, there could be other issues at play and having the nerve testing is the gold standard for diagnosing these type of problems. You would need a referral as far as I know. My insurance lets me self-refer, but my doctor did give me the go-ahead for this particular testing.
The testing is not pleasant, I have to admit and anyone else would tell you the same. Some people tolerate it better than others - for me, it was an annoyance but I managed to get through it relatively ok. Unfortunately, the doctor that did my tests apparently did not administer a portion of it which she should have (sensory testing) and my neurologist now wants me to re-do the entire test. While I'm not happy about this - I'd rather get proper results so that we can move on from that point knowing exactly what it is we need to do - whether it is surgery or not.
You sound like you already know that surgery may not be a cure completely since you still have a problem and have already undergone a prior surgery. Mind you, online you it may be difficult to find people who had success with these surgeries, because people who are not in pain or discomfort have no reason to visit the boards to seek continuing help. My orthopedist said in his experience this surgery works well for "most" people, however, my neurologist is leaning the opposite way, saying that the surgery frequently does not solve the problem entirely, or with enough benefit to have undergone the surgery. That's where I am now - stuck between to opinions and that is why after the test is redone I'll be consulting with the neurosurgeon as well.
I have all the symptoms you mention - it's quality of life thing for me, it impacts my job and my daily life plus my personal life is suffering a bit from it as well (my husband is quite bummed that he can't snuggle up next to me much anymore, the position is a killer, hands go numb almost immediately).
Lus know if you go for the nerve testing