people with/who have dated people with CP. HELP!! - Cerebral Palsy Message Board

darrinhpt · 06-28-2004, 07:26 PM

I'm a 20 year old woman who's worked with people with various disabilities my whole life (Since I was 15). About a year ago while volunteering, I met a young man my age with CP (Spastic Quad) He is unable to walk or sit up on his own, he requires assistance eating and is able to say very few words due to tongue and vocal chord spasticity...He uses a head switch and computer to communicate all of his needs. Despite the fact he is so physically dependant he is 100% cognitive and is quite a funny guy. We have fun together. We sometimed play this game where he thinks of something and I ask him "yes" and "no" questions until I guess what he's thinking of.

Rescently I saw him and I noticed my self with butterfly's in my stomach, I realized I may have a bit of a crush on him. This really freaks me out. I started asking myself all these questions, (ethical ones mostly)

Anyhow, I'm not really considering dating him as I think It would be slightly complicated but what I want to do is hear from those of you who have CP or those of you who have dated someone with a severe physical disability.

Is is weird to be attracted to someone whos so profoundly disabled?
Wouldent our life experiences be completely different?
wouldent Lot's of people would think I was perverted ?

I think this is an interesting topic and would like to hear your thoughts.

musicmaker650 · 06-28-2004, 11:15 PM

darrinhpt,
are you a physical thearapist? First off, your friend is a human being, with the same wants and personal needs as anyone else, disability or not. You will have to do things for him that would be of a very personal nature, right from the start, but I'm sure you have thought of this. If you are prepared to start this relationship you need to communicate your feelings... It sounds like you two know each other and get along fine. I've dated a few women with various disabilities and we were lovers for a while, it was just too difficult to do certain things. I am married to an able-bodied woman, and my previous (2) wifes were also able-bodied. Answering your questions:

Is is weird to be attracted to someone whos so profoundly disabled?
Not at all! It is a very personal thing...

Wouldn't our life experiences be completely different?
Most couple's life experiences are completely different...

Wouldn't lots of people think I was perverted?
It's nobody's business, but yours. If you and your friend thought it was ok, that's what matters...

darrinhpt · 07-06-2004, 07:09 PM

Thank you very much for your response Musicmaker650. You made me feel a lot better... and a lot more normal. I was really scared for a bit but I am feeling very good now. THANKS!!!!!

To answer your question I am not a physical therapist. I just provide recreational programs and services to people with various disabilities.