AB and CP people dating? - Cerebral Palsy Message Board

darrinhpt · 08-02-2004, 12:23 AM

I'm currently in a situation where I am interested in a friend of mine. He and I have known eachother for a few years and are comfortable with eachother. I would like to maybe see if he is interested in me but there is one HUGE problem...I'm able bodied but he has CP. That wouldent be an issue except he is very physically involved. He needs help with everyhing including eating and using the bathroom. I'm so scared if I got involved with him people would think I was a pervert or his parents might think I'm taking advantage of him. I don't know if it's even possible to do, everyone would think I was crazy.

I just wanted to hear from people who are AB and seeing someone with CP or from people with CP who have dated AB people. How did friends and family react? Did the relationship work?

musicmaker650 · 08-02-2004, 07:45 AM

"there is one HUGE problem"

If this is what you think the relationship is going to be even before you start one, it and you are doomed to failure. There are many people here that have sucessful love relationships with AB people. I am one of them. I have Spastic Diplegia CP and my wife does not have CP. I have never worried what other people thought of my decisions as an adult. Our families get along just fine...

Didn't you post this some months back?

Heather1418 · 08-02-2004, 12:22 PM

Hi my name is Heather. yes it is possible for able-bodied people to date people who have cerebral palsy......i have a boyfriend who has it and he can't do anything by himself either.... and if you intend to even marry him in a couple of yrs. or more from now, you wouldn't be taking advantage....you just would have to be more than a dating partner or more than a wife if you intend to marry this guy in the near future...[ removed ] talk to you later.....heather

AwwwCrap · 08-02-2004, 12:36 PM

I picked up on the same phrase tha musicmaker did...

"there is one HUGE problem"

If you go into the relationship with the mindset that there is already a problem, there will be problems.

I am an AB woman who met my husband w/CP 7 years ago. I fell for him hard immediately. Although he is more able-bodied than the gentleman you're describing, he does have his limitations. I never saw him as "disabled" just differently abled because he can do everything I do (i.e. shower, dress, go to work, drive, etc).

My dad was angry that I was "getting myself in too deep" with him, but I simply didn't care. I suppose it would be no different than friends or famiy being upset that you are with a guy with a pierced ear or who is slightly overweight. If you're in love, you're in love! (or in like or whatever)

I say be honest with this young man and let things naturally take their course...just like any other relationship.

Good luck,
Jen

darrinhpt · 08-02-2004, 06:04 PM

Thanks for your replys. I'd like to clarify something though before I get anymore responses pointing out that I thought there was a "HUGE problem".

I, in no way, am referring to him as the problem but to the situation. I have known him for ages and we are friends, he is not a problem to me. I simply ment the process of having to tell family and friends...and his family and friends. It would be difficult. Plus the fact that I may have to be some sort of caregiver rather than a partner because of his physical needs.

I just wanted to hear from people who have been in this situation. I did'nt mean to offend anyone or sound like his disability turned me off.
Thanks