NJenn

Tangerine,

Yes, CP can affect speech. This is because CP makes our muscles too tight (or too loose) and it's hard for us to control them. Nervousness also can make symptoms of CP worse. We're usually nervous on dates, right? What do you mean when you say that you care about what other people think? Do you mean that you care about what other people think about him? That's his dilemma to deal with, not yours. Or do you mean that you care about what other people will think about YOU for dating someone with a physical disability? That's your dilemma, and only you can figure it out. No one wants to date someone who's embarassed or uncomfortable to be seen with them in public. How would you feel if you dated someone who felt that way about you?

The best advice I can give you is to try to treat this man like any other person you would date. Aside from the funny walking and the funny talking, we're just people like you. Get to know him, if you're truly interested in him. Get to know about CP, too. If some things about CP have you puzzled, ask him about it. Chances are, he's pretty comfortable talking about it-- we all reach that point eventually. And if it's hard for you to understand his "CP accent", ask him to repeat what he said. People with speech involvement know when someone doesn't understand them-- the blank stare, the nodding head.

As for physical attraction, if we learn more about the person we're dating, and if we like what we're learning about that person, they become more attractive to us--no matter if they're short, tall, fat, skinny, CP, or no CP. From experience (lots of boyfriends have told me this over the years), I can tell you this: if you find yourself truly caring for someone with a disability, the disability disappears and you see the person underneath. I say give him a chance, and go on a few more dates. You will learn more about him, and about yourself, in the process.

NJenn~~ 26, spastic diplegic