I want to learn to adapt - Cerebral Palsy Message Board

alterdesire · 05-23-2005, 12:31 AM

After an argument with my mother yesterday. I have finally realised after so my years that I have been depending on her my whole life and it can't go on this. All this while I been lying to myself that one day I will be able to walk like all the normal kids and I then can go out. But that sadly l realised it just not the way it goes. So I want to go out and explore the world so what if I am disabled I should just learn to Adapt. My disability is not going to go away if I just stay at home. So I would like advice from the more experienced people on how to adapt to the outside world like taking the bus, opening doors, going for a movie or going shopping all by myself I want to learn how to do all this and more while I use my crutch. So please help, all advice, no matter how small it is, would be helpful.

THANKS IN ADVANCE

NJenn · 05-23-2005, 01:31 PM

Adaptation really is a "mind over matter" thing. But the good news is you've been adapting all your life-- you probably just don't realize it. You're right, your CP is not going anywhere. Now is the time to come to grips with that and get on with life! How old are you? What type of CP do you have? If you want to be truly functionally independent, you need to first be very honest with yourself about what you can and cannot do on your own. Make a list of the things that are hard for you to do independently. If you post it here, maybe all of us can help you find ways to adapt some of those activities. If you use only one crutch, chances are you are a lot less functionally limited than you realize. You just need to get creative!

For example, I have diplegia. I walk with two crutches outside of my house, and also use a wheelchair sometimes. I made a plan so that I could learn how to drive, and I also live independently. In my house, the only things I need help with are taking out the trash, shoveling snow, and carrying in my groceries. To overcome these obstacles, I moved into a condo, where my grass is mowed and my snow is shoveled for me! I also made friends very quickly with a few of my neighbors. They are just a phone call away if I ever need help carrying something or changing a lightbulb or something. In turn, I help them out with other things (babysitting, housesitting, etc).

Your local Center for Independent Living is an excellent resource if you want to learn more about making it on your own. This is a great first step. Remember, your mom's not going to be around forever.

NJenn

Midget · 05-23-2005, 05:15 PM

I agree - don't be afraid to ask for help. But don't be afraid to go out and try things yourself. Develop a "support system" of friends, family, etc (other than your mom) and when you need help with something call on them. But as you get out there and start trying things, you learn what you can do, what you need help with, and all that...like Jenn said, posting a list would be great, then the rest of us can help you, too! Good luck!

alterdesire · 05-23-2005, 11:11 PM

I am just seventeen and I have Spastic Cerebral Palsy and use two crutches. Maybe because of my immaturity I had never realised that I want to do things by myself. All this while I been spending my time studying, using the pc or watching TV that I never felt that I need to go out even when my elder siblings enjoyed their life going shopping, or going to cinema ect, If I want to go to out I can ask mother to bring me when she is free I tell myself But now I realised that why should I depend on her I should go out on my own. I have to beg her for weeks before she can finally find time to bring me to the mall just to buy a book and she refuses to bring me to the cinema just because she does not like to see movies. My occupational therapist had warned me earlier that sooner or later I have got to depend on myself and offered to teach me how to board public transport but I was and still am just too scare. What if I fall, people will laugh at me it will be so embarrassing. What am I to do? Yesterday I went to the convenient store near my house alone for the first time and the moment I got out of the lift people stared staring at me and it never stopped I stated sweating profusely because of I was nerves and at the store I brought an ice cream but I hold it my hand so tightly that it melted even before I got home. It was a nightmare!! I was very very scared life and learned to never carry ice cream in my hand. I started thinking that if it was like this if I go to the store nearby what would it be like if I went to the mall. How am I going to live life How am I to avoid this nervousness and do any of you take public transport or go to the mall alone. i will do a list soon

Midget · 05-24-2005, 12:33 AM

I used to be nervous, too..but then I realized this: some people are curious, some people are rude - people are going to stare. Sometimes I stare right back at them, then smile. Somestimes I just ignore them.

It took me a while to get to that point, though...but when I was younger I didn't do much. I take public transit and I'm working on getting my driver's liscense.