self-help skills - Cerebral Palsy Message Board

jlbalcer · 06-09-2005, 07:33 AM

I have a questions to the adults with CP here. My son is almost 8 years old and have virtually no self-help skills. I am having a hard time figuring out the problem. He has fairly significant physical impairment, but he is not completely helpless, however, he seems to have absolutely no drive to do things for himself. He is not toliet trained, and I understand he has a lack of control. What I do not understand is how he can sit in a messy diaper without complaint until someone sniffs him out. He cannot bathe himself, but he could certainly help if he so chose. Same with teeth brushing. Dressing is another area that he just doesn't even try. He could put on a t-shirt or take one off, but when I hand him a shirt to put on, he just crys. Does he truely believe he cannot do these things, or is it just easier to have mom do it for him? In areas other than self-help he is a very determined little boy, always wanting to try things himself or with minimal help. Is there a way I can help teach him to dress one handed? I want to help him achieve some degree of independance, but I am lost on how to achieve that. Any input would be helpful and appreciated!

alterdesire · 06-09-2005, 08:26 AM

Like for any other kid, it is the job of the parent to teach their child all this skills. I could not do lots of things at your son's age but just like how she taught my other siblings; my mother also taught me how to use the toilet, bath and much other stuff. If i had difficulty she would teach it to me in a different way which was more convenient for me. she even installed handles in my bathroom so that I can hold on to something while i bath and she keep all the shampoos and soaps within my reach. At the age of 8 I might have depended on my mother to make things easy but as I grew up and went to school with other AB kids i wanted to be independent just like them and I found that i could easily adapt myself to different situation because the need for independence was very strong in me and maybe because my mother had already had already taught me to be independent and that if i can't do something I should try it in a different way.Somethings it might be a little hard but if you know your child can do something on his own let him do it.Make it easy for him but don't do it for him.

swiftuk · 06-09-2005, 02:34 PM

If you have trouble finding ways to adapt activity it might be worth trying to find an Occupational Therapist - they can also help with working ways around behaviour/problem-solving how much is can't do, and how much is wont do/doesn't think he can/prefers help. They should also be able to work on adapting dressing/self care tasks.

HTH
Swift

stixforlife · 06-09-2005, 03:51 PM

I agree swift about the occupational Therapist. If they work with him for a while they may be able to determine how much of the issue is "can't do" and how much is "won't do".

If you learn that he can do things like put on clothes and use the bathroom by himself, just ask the O.T. for some techniques on the best way the help him along.

I can give you two things the really helped me.

Getting Dressed:

When I was about 6 or 7 my theapist would turn my clothes inside out, then make me turn them right side in and put them on again. I can tell you that the first few times I did this I did not like my theapist very much. But once I learned how to get dressed I was very proud.

Thing is I don't know how much time you have in your day to put up with the tantrum which will happen at first.

Tying my Shoes:

For the longest time I just had so much trouble with this one. No matter how many times someone showed me as the tied my shoes it woundn't sink in. Then one day I saw a toy with bottons and snaps and shoe laces. The kind of toy that it meant to show toddles how to do things like that. If memory serves it was a Snoopy toy. Anyway I asked my brother to show me again how to tie, and he did.

Now I don't know if it was looking at it in a different way or what it was but something clicked. I knew if I just did a few times by myself I would be able to do it. Well I practiced the rest of the day but I got it!

I have to say that was one of my happiest days when I was a kid because it was so hard for me when I was in school and I had to ask other kids for help tying my shoes.

I Hope this Helps
Write Back To Let Us Know How It Goes.

Have a Wonderful Day

StixForLife

NJenn · 06-09-2005, 10:05 PM

I think these skills build upon themselves. The first two or three things he learns may be a trial for both of you. But once he starts feeling a sense of accomplishment, I don't think other skills will be as much of a struggle.

You're probably already doing this, but I'd focus on easy clothing items first: sweatpants, tube socks, velcro shoes, etc.

When I was little, putting on a coat was my biggest hurdle. I only have negligable upper body involvement, but balancing myself to put on a coat was really hard. My OT would sit me on the floor and place my coat in front of me. She's spread the coat on the floor so that the collar was facing me (closest to me), upside down. I'd place my arms in the coat and then flip it over my head. It was fun! And much easier than reaching around my back to put my other arm in my coat. On a bad day, I still put my coat on like that if no one's watching.

That sort of "out of the box" thinking is crucial.