A Socially Active Life with CP - Cerebral Palsy Message Board

JameF · 07-10-2005, 06:58 AM

Hi, I'm James. I'm 17 and I just moved to Florida about a week or so ago. I use crutches as a means of transporting myself, and I'm on the computer a lot.

I used to live in Illinois, where I didn't have more than 2 friends. One of which suffers from Alagille Syndrome, who's been my friend for almost 9 years now.

But now that I'm in a whole new place where no one knows anything about me, and it's a brand new start, I want to have a more active social life.

But I always have this fear that they won't give me half a chance because of the crutches. When I'm around new people, it doesn't seem like I have anything to say, and it's hard for me to keep a conversation going comfortably.

If anyone can offer any help or ideas, or have any comments on the matter, i'd be greatful.

I'm glad I found these boards and am hopng to make some nice friends here.

James

Steffers2318 · 07-12-2005, 10:21 AM

Hey James,

I know that I have had similar problems feeling comfortable around people...and judging by some of the posts here in the past, a lot of others also feel the same way.

Really it comes down to just feeling more confident in yourself and not caring about the people who have the bad reactions...but I know that is a LOT easier said than done, I have problems following my own advice.

gacatmandu · 08-04-2005, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JameF

Hi, I'm James. I'm 17 and I just moved to Florida about a week or so ago. I use crutches as a means of transporting myself, and I'm on the computer a lot.

I used to live in Illinois, where I didn't have more than 2 friends. One of which suffers from Alagille Syndrome, who's been my friend for almost 9 years now.

But now that I'm in a whole new place where no one knows anything about me, and it's a brand new start, I want to have a more active social life.

But I always have this fear that they won't give me half a chance because of the crutches. When I'm around new people, it doesn't seem like I have anything to say, and it's hard for me to keep a conversation going comfortably.

If anyone can offer any help or ideas, or have any comments on the matter, i'd be greatful.

I'm glad I found these boards and am hopng to make some nice friends here.

James

Hey James,
Social life sucks doesn't it.. For people like us getting friends and keeping them is a very hard thing to do, I know people say it's hard for everyone this is not true at least not as we see it and at 17 and being in a new place may be adding to your troubles.. Let me tell you I have these problems at 39, there's me, my wife, and our girls and that's it.. friends I don't have a one there's just the four of us and the family.. Friends I have thought I have had over the years have all left and don't talk or hang with me any more.. Point is that other than the people that truely care about you there's no one even your friends will turn on you in a heart beat if you let them.. Hell, a friend that I had for something of 26 years doesn't have a thing to do with me any more and I can't think a thing I did to make him not want a thing to do with me.. One thing that I have learned in life is to be yourself and who cares what anyone else thinks of you.. Be happy with you because social lives no matter what end and you are left with you and the people that really matter.. In life you may end up with one or two true friends, other than that no one will care in any true way.. Is life still wroth living hell yes!! just be you and be happy cause in the end you will be the only one that is true to you..

Gary

bsjones · 08-05-2005, 10:52 AM

Well said Gary.

skigirl1689 · 08-05-2005, 02:17 PM

Hey James,

I totally know how you feel. I am 16 and my entire life I have only had 1 close friend. Sometimes I feel like a social outcast but for 9 summers I have gone to a camp for physically disabled kids and made some awsome staff and campers that I can really relate to and just be myself with. My suggestion is to be friendly and open with new people and try to find some group, camp, or organization where you can meet and relate to people who have CP like us. I hope it gets better and maybe we can talk sometime.

skigirl1689