seventeen year old male, with Cerebal palsy with lots of Questions - Cerebral Palsy Message Board

Mceestix · 07-18-2006, 01:38 AM

First of all since this is my very first post on this forum, I just wanted to Say how great I think it is that people with C.P from all over the world can come together and talk to eachother. I only wish i had found this forum years ago.

I guess I should introduce myself to the people taking the time to read this. Like most of you, I was born with Cerebal Palsy. I am now seventeen years old, and about to go into grade 12 come september. Right now, I am at a stage in my life where I can't understand why ME of all people had to be born with CP. I am lucky enough not to have to wear leg braces, or take any medication. I simply walk with 2 forearm crutches. Now i realise that compared to some people on this forum, I probably have a very much more mild form of spastic diaplegia, but I still cannot stand it.

As a child growing up, I always had the impression that my disability would go away as I grew older. My doctor always made me think that when i grew up, I would no longer walk with crutches, or look any different than any other pserson out there. Now, as years have passed, I realise that my C.P. is never going to get any better. I hate waking up everyday knowing that I am going to be walking out of my house with Forearm crutches. It angers me to see the confused and scared look on peoples faces as I pass them on the street. I am having a very hard time going through this stage in my life. The fact that I am dependent on other people for so many things hurts me inside. It is embarrasing when my younger brother of 12 years old can mow the lawn, climb ladders, do yardwork, and I cannot. I feel that I am a letdown to my father, I know that he loves me, but it hurts him inside to know that me, his seventeen year old son cannot even drive a car, or throw a football. It feels like my peers are growing up and moving on with their lives faster than I am. They work as apprentice welders, electritians, and can do hard manual labour. They can drive cars, go to parties, and have no trouble picking up girls. I on the otherhand, have lots of trouble doing everyday tasks.

I just hope i can get some feedback from anyone out there who has C.P. and maybe is older than me and has/or is dealing with the same crap I go through everyday. Anyway thanks for taking the time to read this monster of a post.

Steffers2318 · 07-18-2006, 09:59 AM

Hello,

Being disabled is hard, something all of us can relate to... but you can look at your life the way you are now, the "why me" type of things, or you can try to turn it into a positive thing for your life. Everyone has something physically worng with them, CP is just more noticable than some things. OK, so you walk with crutches, and some strangers stare...why not give them a nice big smile so that maybe their impressions of the disabled will change? Or if it's young kids who ask "what's wrong with you", try to tell them something like you were born with your legs not working the same as everyone else's, but that's ok because everyone's different, and it's just like people who have to wear glasses because their eyes don't work perfectly. (I know this can be hard, I get embarassed doing this, but maybe that little exchange will make that kid grow up into an adult who smiles at the disabled instead of staring...the staring comes from people not being willing to talk about the differences others can have starting at a young age.)

As for not being able to do the things others do, again, you can look at it that way...or you can look at the things you can do in spite of the disability. You think your father hurts inside because you can't do things...maybe that's true, no one wants their children to struggle, but I gaurantee he does not think less of you because of it.

Dating has also been brought up many times here...but you have to take a chance in order to succeed, and you will be shot down sometimes...but so is EVERY "normal" person as well. Your main goal shouldn't be finding ways to be more normal, because frankly that's not going to happen...you have to accept the way you are and find positives in it in order to be happy. The "why me" attitude turns people off more than having a disability.

That said, I'm sure we've ALL felt the way you do to some extent...it's a result of society looking down on those who are different, but you just have to teach yourself not to care what others think. A long time ago I started a thread "The best/worst things about CP" or something like that...if you can find it I think it could help you to read it.

As for me, I'm 20 and going to college to become a Speech Pathologist so that I can help people who are born with things like CP as well as those who acquire disabilities later in life. I've done PT and OT many times so I know what having to go to therapy is like. I hope that maybe I can help some people see that having something "wrong" with you will stop you only if you let it. I also hope you can find something positive like that for your life!

bsjones · 07-18-2006, 11:18 AM

Mceestix,

I felt some of the same things you mentioned when I found out I have diabetes. My 3-year old son has CP.

I am glad you found this message board. I think you are going to do fine in life. Just hang in there, and let me know if I can do anything to help !

bsjones

Mceestix · 07-18-2006, 02:34 PM

Thanks everyone for willing to talk to me.

Albertarose · 07-18-2006, 03:07 PM

Welcome Mceestix.

Steffers had some very valid points. Turn your CP into positive reactions. I am a 39 yo female with mild spastic cp on the left. When I was younger I felt those many concerns that you feel today. Believe me the older you get the more confident you will feel and more accepting of your cp you will become.

I ws not a popular girl whatsoever in my younger days as disabilities were not as accepted as they are now. I had very few friends and thought I would not accomplish to much while I was on this earth. Today I run a in home daycare for young children. I have been doing this business for 18 years. Over the years of caring for people I have also educated people young/old about my cp and other disabilities. People are very accepting of my cp and the children I care for DONOT look at me any different than a "normal" person. In fact, they all look out for me. I wear a AFO on my left leg and I must let each child do it up for me as they feel they are helping me out. I am very open about my cp with the children and their parents.

Today I find myself very well known in my community due to my business and people accept me now. But, I had to learn to accept myself first. I keep going after what I want in life and I do achieve it. You can to. There is no such thing as "I can't do this or can't do that. You can and you will. Believe in yourself. My husband tells me this all the time. Good Luck.