WMCR2001

Hi all!

My fiance is doing very well here in Virginia. He moved all the way across country, with my help, and has secured his own apartment in a safe and very comfortable neighborhood. He has his own attendants who come in for about 2 hours every morning to help him out, and then I help him in the evenings.

He has spastic quadriplegia. It is a moderate case (not really mild, but not severe, either). He is capable of feeding himself, opening the fridge to take out food, opening the door of his own apartment to get outside as needed, and even cleaning his dishes. He is proudly learning that he can clean his own kitchen, too.

He spent the last four years of his life in a group home out in California. He was very miserable there. Some of what happened bordered on abuse.

Now that he's here in Virginia, he is trying to get a Medicaid waiver so that he can receive the personal care for free, as right now I am paying out of our wedding money (!!!) to get him the help every day. However, the Medicaid social worker is giving him a really hard time. When she interviewed him, we could both tell that she had a really ugly chip on her shoulder. A few days after the interview, she called and told me that she had a lot of concerns about him living by himself. What is she afraid of? "What if there's a fire and he's in bed?"

So here are a few questions...

1. Can my fiance be denied the waiver simply because he does not want to live in a group home?

2. Can my fiance be forced into a group home?

3. Does anyone have any advice as to how to handle the Medicaid situation? We are apparently waiting for results, and we don't know what will happen. This is a very scary situation. Alas, Virginia is also one of the worst states for Medicaid.

Any other thoughts or advice? We are currently checking out the Center for Independent Living for help.

Thanks!


Christina