route66

Chad,
I have a similar problem because I tighten up all over the closer I get to climaxing (except now that I have a baclofen pump, climaxing is even more difficult, though getting and maintaining an errection is usually no problem). My wife and I have sex in one of two positions 99% of the time: her on top with me on my back (after foreplay and oral stuff), and me standing (leaning back against the bathroom counter) with her in front of me bent over (not anal sex, but rear entry into the vagina). Since having the baclofen pump put in last year, I have trouble with the first position because often I cannot climax (but get very close to it). Not sure why. The standing position assures me an orgasm, but at the risk of falling over because my knees get weak during climax (so I can't really relax and completely enjoy it). I have one hand on my walker to keep me somewhat stable. Still, it's great sex nonetheless because I love my wife.

Very rarely we mess around with me on top of her laying down, but in nine years of marriage I've only climaxed a few times in this position. I just get stiff as a board all over and it doesn't work very well. Sometimes I sit on the couch and she sits on me, facing me. This used to work every time early in our marriage, but only does sometimes now. We also have two teenage boys in the house, so until they move out or we can put a couch in our bedroom (no room!), this rarely is an option.

Hopefully you can marry this woman. We find our sex life, though challenging sometimes, gets more fulfilling and deeper the longer we're married. The physical is a great part, but the emotional and friendship bonds get stronger.

Enabling Romance is a good book! It didn't help us much but was very interesting.

~66~