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Old 10-07-2010, 09:10 PM   #1
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Angry 41 with mild CP

Hi,

Is there anyone else out there that is experiencing problems that you never noticed before (when you were younger) with mild CP?

I have always done things anyone else has done but, we have had a lot of stress this year (lone ranger, we are not). My husband has gone on disability for his bipolar disorder this year after 10 times in the hospital. We have fought to keep our house. I began attending school to earn my AS in medical assisting, I have a 3.95 and will graduate in June. I will begin my clinicals in November. My mother is worried that I can not handle this big change in careers. I always blow her off because I would have done nothing with my life if I gave up but, lately, I am feeling defeated. I have more muscle spasms than I ever have had. I am tired all the time. I feel as if I am wearing a lead jacket that reaches from the back of my legs to my neck. what the heck is going on with me. I have to be the one who supports us now. I can not be this tired. I have worked so hard to get here. What can I do? I need the old me back. Has anyone felt like this?

Help! I need to take care of my family!

 
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Old 10-08-2010, 11:49 AM   #2
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Re: 41 with mild CP

I to have c/p I am 53 and I kept busy all my life and acted Like I didnt have it . But guess what it hits hard when reality comes in to play. I to was a nurse assistant I really dont know what I was thinking even back then ten years ago I had problem creeping up that I totaly engored(my spelling is horrible please forgive me) Thank God the hospital I worked at was so kind to me and realized after a rupurted disc that dealing with people physciality I just couldnt do it no matter how hard I wanted to help so they taught me to be a medical sec. Well I kept doing that until I was in so much pain just like you were describing but also I had major balance problems. I went thru life acting like i didnt have it afraid to tell anyone because of preexistance conditions I was afraid the insurance wouldnt cover it what ever illness i had at the time. I even convence the PT person when I had back surgery to not say anything about my c/p and the neursurgeon to because I really think they went along with it because they wanted payed really there was only three dr.s that knew but didnt push the issue. But then came reality and I was so sad beyond words. We moved back to Texas where the weather is warmer. I quit my job and got on this county insurance and the dr. quicly sent me to pt, podiatry, and neuro, My husband who is my best friend and hero who was strong and help everyone all his life is ful of back problems arthis and had a totla hip all at 50, anyway I have always walked funny and now he and me do funny how life turns out. but anyway please keep in touch please and let me know how you are doing. Both me and my husband are know on disability. It took him 6 months to get approved and me 7 months but the Dr. stronly backed me up and the sad thing is I hate to be the creep reaper but I know have to walk with a walker and have to have somthing done because of the heel cord lenghting they did when I was a small child I have poor circulation in my feet really I promise I want tell you more because really everyone is different but you sound so much like what I was like. Just whatever you do get a DR. that realize things about c/p because some dr. think its nonprogressive and it is but my DR. told me people with c/p have problems like mine when they get older. please keep in touch. my God Bless you and watch over you .

 
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Old 10-08-2010, 04:39 PM   #3
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Re: 41 with mild CP

Hey Jgrangran,

Man, I was hoping someone would tell me something different. I mean most of the time, people are not sure what I have. I have even had doctors tell me that they would not have known if I did not tell them but, if someone is knowledgable they always know. I guess when I began to get most concerned is when we would go to the theme parks and I could not make it till the end of the day. I would be in so much pain in my hip that I could barely make it to the car. Now my husband makes me get a chair at the beginning of the day. It stinks because I am not ready at the beginning of the day to ride but, it creeps up on you. If you wait until you do not feel well, it is too late. I always thought that I could do anything. CP may not be progressive but, the toll it takes on our bodies from not having a "normal" gate does. I am still going to pursue my degree. I am going to try until I cannot try anymore. I just never wanted for anyone to think I could not do something..... Maybe I will keep going to school and get my degree in nuclear medicine. That is pretty mellow. I just am so confused as to why these things are happening. I need to support my husband and I. I am not a quitter. Thank you for your kind words. Please stay in touch. Thank you. and please please please keep writing me!

Thanks,

Sarah

 
Old 10-09-2010, 05:52 AM   #4
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Re: 41 with mild CP

Thank-you for writting back. Good for you for not giving up. But there is going to be a time that you wil have to not really give up but take life just a little more slowly . Please watch out for physcially demanding jobs you could mess yourself up with more problems I think that being a nurse assistant which I dearly loved took a toll on my body. Like I said made me get a ruptured dics. I have perment nerve damage form that. Numbess on you left part of my back and partly down my leg. It was because it took the Insurance so long to approve my mri. But that being said people that are in perfect health that are nurse tects really mess up there back to. The hospital will tell you if you use proper meichance you wont hurt your self but it might be true in an ideal situation but dealing with sick people you cant tell when there are going to fall and lean on you a certain way. anyway you seem so smart and really have a great attuide sometimes I think people with c/p have such inter strenght so strong that sometimes they themselves are there worst emeny (haha). Just the mere fact someone told me I couldn"t do something I proved them wrong. Really please listen to your body. I had to go 6 months of horrible pt and still have to every year because I didnt slow down and realize I have to take care of my body. I wont to be around for my husband and kids and grankids with as much quality of life I can have. And when my husband started having his problems I though the same way you did I got to be strong I have to keep going but you have to also be smart which it sounds like you are. Me and my husband had to realize we have worked all of our lives and at 53 we were aging to quickly. He filed for disability first because I though no way would I do that. But when i went to DR.he did a phyical on me and kept telling me to slow down I kept falling and he demanded I use a walker are else he would not see me anymore he was afraid I would break my hip. That was when realitiy hit me. My kids are still in denial but really I understand I have been in denial all my life. Thank -you again for writting back I am a terrible spellier and not a good writter but I think your smart enough to decode my writting (haha). please write back.

 
Old 10-09-2010, 08:08 AM   #5
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Re: 41 with mild CP

You sound so much like me. It was only recently that I could even get the words out that I had cp. My parents never talked about it at all. I will try to take better care of myself and not try to lift or hold patients. I want to work in an urgent care for about a year and then get my degree in nuclear medicine. I am taking radiogrphy essensials for limited practice right now. It is just part of my regular classes. It is harder than I thought but, I am hoping that I will get in a better frame of mind once I start working. Money is tight right now and I worry about that a lot. You are so lucky that you have kids and grandkids. We were not blessed with kids. We tried for a long time but, I have premature ovarian failure. I guess that is why I am that much more determined to work hard. We need to have a solid retirement. We basically have nothing now but, my husband's disability. You are so silly, stop apologizing for your spelling. We all have stuff that we are good at. You sound like an amazing woman and a wonderful mom, wife and grandmother. You are a God send to me. There is a ton of information available for kids with cp but, not for adults. No one ever tells you about later in life. All you know is that it is non-progressive. Because my mother pushed me so much when I was young, I feel that if I am tired or sore that it is in my head or that I am just out of shape. Anyway, thank God for you. Thank you for writing me. Please please stay in touch. God bless you and your beautiful family!

Sarah

 
Old 10-09-2010, 09:22 AM   #6
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Re: 41 with mild CP

You are so sweet I will keep in touch maybe more than you would like for me to (haha) not really but I would like to see how you are doing and will be praying for your success. While I'm not over relgious I do believe in God. There is a reason things happen we dont always know. I was also told I would never have kids And I lost my first one I wasnt far along but the doctor said it stop developing so I was sad but like everything else I kept trying . But every case is different and their is a lot of children out their that could benifet from your strenght. I have been thru a lot in my life my mother gave me and my brother ups twice to the state I never place blame on her because she was a single mother with a handicapped kid that needed medical treatment. Anyway the state really didnt do right by us I got help at the age of 5 which was 4 operation and after that no real follow up course I was very young so maybe I did get fixed as much as they fix me who knows. my mother has died and i wish I would of asked her more questions but I didnt because of the denial issue I had. I did wear braces which by the way saved my life once in the childrens home I was in I was waking to school with a group of children and of course I was laging behing a car pulled behind me and a man picked me up I kicked for I the strenghted I had and he let me go of course the other children saw it but they ran. which I dont blame them one bit. the police came to the school and question me but I didnt see the person I just know he was big and round as I decribled it when I was young. So those heavy braces saved my life funny how things happen. Then my mother meet a guy that I thought at the time she had married but later found out she didnt marry him. anyway he took us out of that home and told me I didnt need those braces are the glasses I was wearing and being the kid I was I said Yes I didnt need them but guess what I really schould of kept them on . anyway guy found out my mother was taking birth conrol pill behind his back and threw us out so she gave us to our dad who was very abusive drinking hitting women just a mean guy. That is when my real faith in God happen at a young age I was praying in the back of the van my drunk dad was driving hoping he wouldnt hit us and anyone else . Some one told the state( after three year of this kind of abuse someone told on him). The police came out to our house in the middle of the night Im to this day not sure why they waited till the middle of the night but they did. Anyway I always slepted on the porch always scared of being on the porch but anyway the police showed up and look through our cabnets and found we had no food and told me not to worry they would take us to a place that would take care of us. I just begged to please take us far away from my dad, While phyciality he never hurt me mentally my be a differnt story(HAHA) anyway he did beat my brother very bad for little things and that was wrong. He was also very prejudious Which I hated even as a young child. any way we were taken away again and placed in a home again let tell you to this day the smell of bacon is so comforting to me. I was sad I couldnt be with my mother but she had remarried and the guy she married didnt want to have anything to do with us. Well he said he would take me but not my brother's and I said no way would I leave them. But my brother did have issues big issues with athourty of any kind I would begg them to follow the rules which by the way was reasonable but of course they wouldnt they ran away and one join the army at 17 my mother signed for him and in there he started taking drugs and really was not the same (that was back in the early 70"s). my other brother dranks a lot and really in following in my dads foot step to a degree he dosent beat women (just other drunks) HAHA Its not funny Im just trying to make it a little less dark. Anyway I fanilly got out of that home and lived with my mother and she had a little girl at that time which I loved dearly I read to her all the time and really look after her but her dad which was my step dad had a bad drinking problem well I would clean the house he would mess it up I talking peeping in the icebox are on the tv. well needless to say I wasnt going to stay there so I left home at 16 and went to live with my aunt and uncle who really wasnt my aunt and uncle That uncle had divorced my real aunt and married some else who took a likeing to me when I would visit my cousin so she offered to let me stay there. I never blamed my mother for nonthing because she got beat so bad my my dad and that why I was born so early I weighted 2 lbs. 11 inches long well back in the 1957 they didnt have a lot in far as premmeese goes but by the grace of God he let me live. Anyways I meet my husband while I was living with my aunt and uncle you know that song by taylor swifty she wears short shorts and tee shirts thats the way it was I was very shy stayed under the radar not drawing attention to myself I didnt have to my walk stuck out like a sore thumb. anyway yes kids made fun of me and would emate how I walk but I just laughed with them because why be bitter. theere were teacher who would try to get me to tell them if anyone made fun of me but I wouldnt I figure they really didnt mean to be mean and God would get them (haha) But my husband play football very popular and very strong and he took a lot dating me he didnt care in fact he told some of the people that he would take them on on the field if they didnt like it. But their was on boy that got in a fight over someone making fun of me I felt bad because they both got expelled. I told that guy it doent bother me really it bother him more than me. I keep in touch with to this day he was our friends in high school. Really having c/p you know who your friends really are honestly. Girls can be so mean but I was blessed that my friends were real friends. anyway enought of this I just want you to know you really could touch a child life even as a big sister are a menter their were people along the way in my life that the little things they did helped me. I promise I will not write so much next time please keep in touch love ya jgrangran

Last edited by jgrangran; 10-10-2010 at 07:39 AM.

 
Old 10-09-2010, 04:58 PM   #7
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Re: 41 with mild CP

Wow antrara you really have a lot on your plate. You know my ex husband suffered bi-polar too and I struggled with his mood swings (his depression manifested as anger) and he also had psychotic episodes due to heavilly smoking marijuana. I had 3 kids to look after and I had to do all the housework, yardwork and manage the bills. It was a nightmare and I really struggled, it ended up I suffered a mild depression myself and felt so worn out, tired all the time, ached all over, contracted every cough, cold and sore hole imaginable and I don't even have CP. I can't imagine what it must be like for you.

I will pray for you, that you get through this tough time and that your husband continues to take his medications (mine didn't, every time he felt 'well' he'd stop) and that he regains his old self back quickly.

Good luck

Last edited by Leaciesmum; 10-09-2010 at 04:59 PM.

 
Old 10-09-2010, 05:13 PM   #8
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Re: 41 with mild CP

Don't be silly about writing too much. You are right, Kids can be really cruel. I remember a teacher making me feel worse than a lot of the kids. She was a mean old woman! I did not get along too well with my family growing up. I guess that you are going to think that I am a jerk because I had both my parents. I ran away a lot and eventually was told that I was going to go to a home until I was 16. My mother of course would not want any of her snobby friends to find that out. Plus she would not have been in control of the situation. I was shipped off to boarding school. It was aweful. I missed all the kids that I went to school with. I mean, they made fun of me sometimes but, they never harassed me 24/7. I was harassed by a girl that used to be my roommate 24/7 because in the first few days that I was there I befriended a girl that I guess was not "popular". My then mean roommate asked that I come sit with her and her friends at lunch. I asked her to make room for my new friend and they refused so, I did not sit with them. I did not want the girl to feel bad. It would have been rude to get up and leave her all alone. So, I payed for it the rest of the year. It was aweful. My mother told me how happy and nice things were at home since I was gone. That made me feel like I belonged nowhere. I eventually left the night that I graduated from high school and went to Dallas to live with my ex-husband and his family. Long story short, we got married, lost a baby, he cheated and I cried all the time. I finally came home just after I was 24. I stayed with my parents but, that did not work out too well. Too much for everyone I guess. Hey, Ya know what? I weighed 2lbs 10 1/2 oz. not sure how long I was. They said that I was too small too but, my uncle told me that I was born on a Thursday and on Sunday he went to church and asked his youth group to please pray for me. I began improving on Sunday. Well, here we both are! There is no such thing as being too religious. That is subjective. Everyone has an opinion on something. I believe God hears us when we talk to him and knows what is in our hearts. He loves us all the same. He just wants us to love Him too. Religion can mean many things to many people but, it is your faith in God that will pull you through. If you have no more faith; if you did not believe that there was hope for tomorrow well, it would be a miserable life and nothing to look forward to. Things are hard sometimes and you may perceive that others have it easy but, you really never know. A problem that may seem so small to us may be so large to another. It all hurts the same. Well, I have to run. Need to check on my sweet husband. I am sorry all those hard things happened to you. I am sorry that hard things happen to anyone really. We will never know until we get to heaven what the reason was. Never give up and NEVER stop asking God for what you need. God bless you!
Sarah

 
Old 10-09-2010, 05:36 PM   #9
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Re: 41 with mild CP

Hi there!

We are both fine now. My husband is med compliant. It is just that this past year was aweful in the states. It seems like everyone we know has lost a house or a job. However, the way that I think of it is that those are just things. I know that my husband is "in there somewhere" when he has these episodes. It was just too many this year. I watched him start beating the tar out of someone that was just sitting having a conversation on the phone on night when I came to visit him IN THE HOSPITAL. I watched as all the workers appeared out of the woodwork and began tackling the both of them. I stood over in the corner with my mouth down to my knees. I screamed at my husband to stop it. When they finally came over to me they said I had to leave. I laughed and said that I would have been gone sooner but, the door was locked! I just skipped the next couple of visits. He was back to himself in a few days. I was kind of grateful that he acted out b/c I just wanted a few more days to rest. I guess it seems like a lot and it is at times but, my grandmother always told us that "God did not bring you this far to leave you on the side of the road". I hope your exhusband finally realized that he has to do what they ask of him. My husband promised me a long time ago that he would always take his medication. Things happen that can trigger a problem and you just have to get it fixed. We joke now that he is "going in for a tune up". Not a very funny thing to joke about but, you have to know that it is not forever. I think that without hope that all is lost. I sometimes worry how I am going to feel when I am older. I wonder how I will get around but, I have to work on today to get to tomorrow. I originally posted b/c I just never spoke to anyone that was an adult with CP. I know that with mild CP that our life span is just as normal as anyone else. Thanks for your prayers. I hope that you are doing well. God bless!

 
Old 10-09-2010, 06:00 PM   #10
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Re: 41 with mild CP

Thanks for writting back Im sorry sorry you had to indure so much to. Man your mom sounds like mommy dearest(just joking) but really we have a lot of things alike even born weight. HAHA please if you need to talk ever I'll be here checking to see if you write and good luck on your classes. Take care and still think about maybe latter you can touch some child life really I think you would really be helpful you have been thru a lot. Do you have neices are nephews? Anyway thanks for responding back please keep writting I'll answer. Thanks for just being you I will pray for you every night and day that life turns out the way you want. may God Bless you always. keep in touch please

 
Old 10-09-2010, 06:09 PM   #11
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Re: 41 with mild CP

Oh yea I would never think you were a jerk I think you had it so bad man why do people have to be so mean I know Girls can and do be so cruel. Good for you for sticking up to that girl that you sit by. and once when I was at one of those home there was a group gang and of course I made a point to stand alone come to find out years later the leader of that gang was mentily challenged go figure all those kids that follow every word she said I think most were afraid of her. Not me I was so much littler than her but I guess maybe she was afraid of my brothers. anyway I would never think of you as a jerk never. even if you disagree with me on things because that is what makes people different so I hope you keep in touch .

Last edited by jgrangran; 10-09-2010 at 07:20 PM.

 
Old 10-10-2010, 06:50 AM   #12
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Re: 41 with mild CP

hope you have a great day !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
Old 10-10-2010, 02:32 PM   #13
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Re: 41 with mild CP

Wow, both your stories are amazing and touching Antrara and jgrangran...and scary. Scary because i too have been feeling my mild CP for a while deteoriate. And i have been dreading but also painfully aware of what awaits me later in life. I told a doctor about my concerns a few years ago, and he freaking laughed at me. He obviously thought i was being ridiculous...
At least it helps a little to just hear your story and to see it or hear it "said out loud". It's the kind of relief i can imagine a battered woman feels when her husband finally hits again, instead of walking around in uncercainty...
Atleast, thanks so much for your candidness.
You both sound so caring and loving, i hope the best for you.
Take care of yourselves.
- Aviaja

 
Old 10-10-2010, 03:25 PM   #14
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Re: 41 with mild CP

Thank-you Aviaja Your so kind also. Really I think If I keep the mind sit like I don't have it but still watch what I phycially do to my body Like maybe not playing contact sports (haha). then maybe things will be okay I am extremely lucky and I know I am my family loves me and I have a great husband and I hope that I have good health other than the c/p of couse I very seldom get sick I do however get run down to the point of having to get IV's fluid so I hope my other health issues stay in check to at least my life time my biggest fear is having to have someone take care of me. Which really I pray daily about that. that is why I try to not foolish subject my body to harzardess things. Course I still am having fun with my life but I do realize I have limtations and I pay for it if I over do it. I would say to you be aware the things you subject your body to. know that it will come back to haunt you take care of your self but also have fun. I know my body was changing from the time span from the time my youngest daughter was in middle school to high school because she played sports soccer and basketball and walking on those bleachers started out okay but by the first of high school it was getting harder and harder so much that I started sitting on the bottom step. My husband was kind of glad because I was the type that yelled for the team and sometimes ashame to say yelled at the refrees. so he always sit far away from me (haha) and he could climb the bleachers with out any problems then that's not the case now (haha) anyway hope you can read this. please keep in touch . thanks again for your kind words. May God Bless you please keep in touch

Last edited by jgrangran; 10-10-2010 at 05:33 PM.

 
Old 10-11-2010, 04:55 AM   #15
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Re: 41 with mild CP

Good Luck on you classes today Antrara. and have a good day. And aviaja I hope you have a Good Day also. take care you two.

 
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