Re: ADHD & SPD possibly aspergers?
Schools to me seem a little too eager to rush children into taking heavy duty prescription meds for ADHD. Usually because the teacher can't take having a child in class that is disruptive in any way, shape or form. I would either take her out and homeschool her, and send her only for therapies, or find a teacher willing to work with her the way she is, her sweet loving active little self. Children should be allowed to express their true selves. The only time I feel meds are needed for a child are if they are a danger to themselves or others, or they are sick with a raging disease.
I have friends with children with both ADHD and Aspergers and they have seemed to use a variety of methods over the years. They seem to become the therapist for their child. You will learn what works and doesn't work for your child, but above all you must protect her from well meaning people.
I don't know about your state, but in mine, therapies can be paid for by the state if a doctor says they need therapy. In which case, its often through the public school system. There may be private therapists available in your town also, or through the local hospitals, although it may take more work with the insurance companies. Even if you homeschool her, she still should qualify for services through the school district. My friends have homeschooled their kids off and on through the years, and its not for everyone, but for some it has been a life saver. There are online schools also that in our state are paid for by funding from your local school district. You can still offer a disciplined environment at home so they learn structure, while allowing them more leeway for their creative side to shine through.
Basically an IEP just says what goals they will work on with your child and how they will do so. This summer, maybe you could learn how to make your own goals for your child- then implement those goals. For ex: She will learn to go potty on her potty chair at least 50% of the time. We will do this by: putting her on the potty every half hour for 10 minutes at a time. If there is a sensory issue involved in using the potty, then adapt the potty to her needs. (The seat is too hard, too soft, etc.) Then put that on your goal sheet as well.
Also your school district is mandated to provide free of charge testing each year to know where your child is at with no obligation for you to attend their school. So you have options. If you decide to keep her in public school, you may find a teacher that is willing to be flexible so you don't have to medicate your child. I hope you do! Just so you know you have many options available to you, but whatever you decide, you will need to learn to be the main teacher of your child, because you know her better than anyone, and for her to have success, you will have to be involved in the process.
Best wishes, K.