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Old 03-19-2004, 06:02 PM   #1
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Spank your child?

I'm not sure this is the right board for this. But I was wondering about your thoughts on spanking a child. Can you go to jail for this or anything like that?

 
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Old 03-19-2004, 06:06 PM   #2
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Re: Spank your child?

Everybody has different views as to whether to spank the child or not. I have a friend who works for the Family and Children Services here in Georgia, and she told me that if I spank, it has to be open handed on the butt and nothing will be said to me. I do spank if the situation is warranted.

Last edited by kfs333; 03-19-2004 at 06:06 PM.

 
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Old 03-20-2004, 12:32 PM   #3
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Re: Spank your child?

I don't think there are any laws that could send you to jail for spanking a child; but if it is done abusively, that's another story. The good book says of the question:

Isn't the saying of "spare the rod and spoil the child" a barbaric concept, which encourages child abuse?

PROVERBS CHAPTER 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

As usual, society has it BACKWARDS! The bible states that those who DO NOT spank their children are acting out a form of HATE toward them, and those who DO so are the ones who really LOVE them.

AND

PROVERBS CHAPTER 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

This verse is God speaking to parents, HE SAYS that the rod of correction WILL WORK. True violence, is WITHHOLDING punishment from unruly youth.

There is a lot of controversy on this subject. You have to use this 'tool' effectively and usually only when the child is doing something that could endanger their welfare. Be careful.

Last edited by sawbuck44; 03-20-2004 at 12:40 PM.

 
Old 03-21-2004, 09:13 PM   #4
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Re: Spank your child?

Spanking a child on the bottom twice (in a given incident) is sufficient. Any more than this can be abusive. Other alternatives should be used however, if your punishing your child for hitting someone else. Perhaps timeout or a privelage taken away. I only use spanking as a last resort.

Dr. james Dobson is a renouned child & family psychologist. He's written several books and has an organization called Focus On The Family.

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Old 03-22-2004, 06:35 AM   #5
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Re: Spank your child?

I agree with the above poster (it changed to asterisks when i referred to the name), Dr. Dobson is a great one to reference on this and the subject of family itself.

Last edited by sawbuck44; 03-22-2004 at 06:36 AM.

 
Old 03-22-2004, 06:41 AM   #6
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Re: Spank your child?

I believe that spanking a child that has done wrong is ok,However if I am really mad or something like that then I wont do it I have never and will never touch my children when I am angry and I also feel that if you spank your child more than twice at one time its not because of what they did its because YOU are angry.
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Old 03-23-2004, 09:28 AM   #7
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Re: Spank your child?

Hello, No, you can't go to jail for spanking a child. It's also a cultural thing and is permissable in certain countries. You can go to jail for child abuse. This means that there had better not be any perminant marks on your child from the spanking, or it becomes child abuse. It is not necessary to spank a bare bottom or use an item like a paddle or belt, then it can be considered child abuse. A single light tap on a clothed bottom with a disserning frown should be enough. It's also a good idea not to spank for every little thing and to keep the spanking as a last resort. That way you may not have to spank at all.
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Old 03-23-2004, 09:42 AM   #8
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Re: Spank your child?

I listen to him and focus on the family. It's great.
There is a difference between discipline and abuse. Adult anger must be in check when you decide to dicipline a child because it can be abuseive and excessive. The adult must walk away if they become enraged or angered and revisit the issue when calm and rational.

 
Old 04-04-2004, 04:51 AM   #9
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Re: Spank your child?

I was spanked. I'm 26 now. Looking back I'd only spank until they're old enough to comprehend grounding and things like that. My dad only spanked me twice that I can remember. Just the threat of it kept me in line after that. My mom never spanked me. Lots of guilt trips though with her...

 
Old 04-08-2004, 01:54 PM   #10
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Re: Spank your child?

i believe in spanking when the situation calls for it.
i don't believe in using a paddle or anything other than an open hand, and no more than 2 or 3 times. my mom used a paddle on my sisters and i and i just remember thinking it was really harsh.
i think spanking is ok, as long as it doesn't get out of control and you're actually leaving bruises and welts.

 
Old 04-12-2004, 04:54 PM   #11
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Re: Spank your child?

As we all know, there is a limit to all things. I was spanked and so were most of my cousins, friends, etc...we all grew up with a bit of fear of our parents and personally think we are better behaved for it. People are so afraid to punish their children that they get away with just about anything ( and this goes for my two boys as well, certainly not pointing fingers here). I honestly believe that our parents didn't do anymore damage to us by spanking then we do to ours by not punishing. I've found that most cases, my boys respond to having special things taken away and I ground the 11.5 year old, but on occasion they pull something that I just can't even believe they did and they get a whack with the wooden spoon, enough that they can feel it. They just laugh at me when I spank them with my hand (I don't usually do this to the 11.5 y.o. anymore as it's humiliating for us both and I'm not out to humiliate) and tell me "that didn't hurt, haha". Charming children. ;o) I love my boys and would NEVER do anything to truly hurt them physically, but feel they need to learn their lesson and if they don't from grouding/taking away, then the wooden spoon comes out. Since I've started this, they both have more respect for me.

 
Old 04-16-2004, 05:18 PM   #12
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Re: Spank your child?

I don't believe in spanking~I was born into an abusive home and beat many many times.with boards belts tree branches anything they could.I was beat so bad on my bottom once with a board they eventually had to take me in to get the slivers removed becuse they had got infected,they told them i slide down a board~yea but not by choice.That is why i do not spank I can't bring myself to even a pat.

 
Old 04-18-2004, 12:45 PM   #13
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Re: Spank your child?

Quote:
Originally Posted by pdn
I don't believe in spanking~I was born into an abusive home and beat many many times.with boards belts tree branches anything they could.I was beat so bad on my bottom once with a board they eventually had to take me in to get the slivers removed becuse they had got infected,they told them i slide down a board~yea but not by choice.That is why i do not spank I can't bring myself to even a pat.

That does seem to cross-over to abuse instead of a spanking. I think spanking itself is not only good for discipline, but it teaches a child that if it is out-of-line, there is a consequence to their actions. This is important because if a parent does not spank at all, a child may grow up with the idea they can abuse others without consequence....this could lead to an out of control kid and adult. This could possibly lead to running into someone who will, unlike mom and dad, respond violently much to the child's surprise, or finding out the hard way (like jail) that they can't just do what they want and get away with it....

But spanking should be done at the age where physical consequence is all they understand, because after they get older they can be more open and understanding to negotiation and reward....which will make spanking become unnecessary; plus, like one poster said, spanking no longer hurts anyway when they are older, thus it's no longer a consequence.

 
Old 05-01-2004, 03:08 PM   #14
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Re: Spank your child?

well i will tell u my father used to spank us an i mean with the belt and drew blood .he would also use an extention cord we had marks on us that my sister and i couldnt wear a dress as my dad ws beating my butt(a nice word) i would say when i grow up i will never spank my kids and he would say he was doing it because he loved us BULL trying hugs church and saying i love u or u did great or i didnt like what u did because and DISCUSS it before we were going to get spanked we would have to go to the bathroom or we would urinate all over ourself all 3 of us.i remebered trying to tell a policeman that came to class one day i was about 6yrs what happened he called my dad and told on me boy did i get in trouble thank god they do something about these days when i became a teenager i got pregnant to get out of the house to get away from him and when he found out i was pregnant he beat my butt and shoved me in the closet .I lost that baby and dad made my life hell as a child and I will never forget the hurt he caused and still causes all i want to say is THINK and LOVE SPANKINGS arent always the answer but love is!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
Old 05-01-2004, 03:45 PM   #15
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Re: Spank your child?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cheahahoney
well i will tell u my father used to spank us an i mean with the belt and drew blood .he would also use an extention cord we had marks on us that my sister and i couldnt wear a dress as my dad ws beating my butt(a nice word) i would say when i grow up i will never spank my kids and he would say he was doing it because he loved us BULL trying hugs church and saying i love u or u did great or i didnt like what u did because and DISCUSS it before we were going to get spanked we would have to go to the bathroom or we would urinate all over ourself all 3 of us.i remebered trying to tell a policeman that came to class one day i was about 6yrs what happened he called my dad and told on me boy did i get in trouble thank god they do something about these days when i became a teenager i got pregnant to get out of the house to get away from him and when he found out i was pregnant he beat my butt and shoved me in the closet .I lost that baby and dad made my life hell as a child and I will never forget the hurt he caused and still causes all i want to say is THINK and LOVE SPANKINGS arent always the answer but love is!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are right because your father did not spank you; he abused you in the name of discipline, much like people go to war in the name of religion! At least you have broken the violence of your father by not following in his behaviors, so good for you....you are above him by all measures and definitions as a human being

 
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