MandyAnne26

Well, you need to make it so it's not a choice. Veggies only.....no junk, no sugar (no juice with a lot of sugar, no candy, etc). He can have his choice of raw or cooked veggies and you can buy some low cal dips for him, other than that i would give him no choice. No white breads etc. Encourage him to eat healthy. To keep him from feeling completly deprived i would allow him to pick out one or two treats per week...that is if he eats what he is suposed to. Find veggies that he likes, maybe he doesn't like green beans, but maybe he likes salad, or maybe fruits. Don't give him the option. I guarentee you the gagging or whatever when he ate the green bean was just to make you feel guilty for making him eat it.
You should take him to a dietician to see what foods, exercise plans would be best for him. It is extremly important that you get not only his weight, but his sugar intake under control so that he doesn't develope diabetes. I'm not sure what his activity level is, but if he's watching a lot of tv or playing video games than that needs to be stoped, limit him when it comes to activities like that. Try and get him envolved in some sort of activity, sports, martial arts, even just walking and going to the park, sledding and skating now that winter is here. Do things like that as a family. Also, do not buy junk food...do not have it in the house at all. If he feels everybody is eating the same as him it won't be so hard, but if he sees mom and dad eating junk and he can't have any he will feel punished or that there is somethign wrong with him.
At his age he can start to understand the health risks of being overweight, and developing healthy eating patterns so that he doesn't end up with health problems.
Explain to him that it's for his health, that you just want him to grow up to be healthy and that you don't want anything bad to happen to him because of his eating habbits.
I think the most important thing like i said is not to make it a choice. Serve him healthy meals for breakfast, lunch, supper and snacks, there are no other options, if he wants a small treat once or twice a week (because healthy isn't necessarily about giving up, it's about moderation, we can eat what we want, but the bulk of our diets needs to be healthy) than he will have to eat his meals. You can give him the choice of which veggies, they can be raw or cooked with a low cal dipping sauce....but that's as far as his choice goes. My kids have always known since they were about 3-4 that if they don't eat their meals they don't get the kind of snacks they want, but their snacks are usually healthy things, they don't usually have chips, chocolate or candy, as a treat they will occasionaly. They have never really shown a strong dislike for veggies so i haven't had to try too many tricks to get them to eat them.
Good luck with your son.