camden

In everything that I have read, #2 is suppose to be the easier of the two to learn. In my experience with both of my children it was the harder of the two. My son would hold it if he was naked or wearing training pants and would go as soon as a diaper was put on.

Your daughter may be genuinely afraid. My daughter would not pee on the potty. She would start to go then stop and start screaming. I did not want to force her to go but eventually did. Every time she would wet a diaper she would throw herself on the floor and have a tantrum until she was changed. I did not feel that I should be buying diapers for a child who knew when she had to go and when she had done it.

I sat her on the toilet and when she would start to go I would praise her. Then I would tell her that she wasn't done and make her sit there. Everytime she would start she would cry and I would assure her that it was all right. I would hold her while she was there to reassure her. After she had completed the task I would reward her with a chocolate(I never had to reward her enough times to make it a habit). Once she managed to sit down on the potty and start and finish, with me patting her back and reassuring her and her screaming, without stopping we were home free. She was never scared again and trained very easily.

I would not rush it. I have actually seen a parenting show where a child was scared to use the potty because he thought it would hurt, I believe he was 3 years old. They actually used a suppository(with a struggle from him) on him and made him sit on the potty. The suppository leaves you with no choice but to go, so he went. They did this on several occasions until the child learned that it did not hurt. I personally am not sure I like this approach. The child was probably terrified of his parent holding him down and sticking the suppository up his bum.

Try reassuring her and using a reward system if necessary. It doesn't have to be candy or chocolates. It can be stickers or something as simple as your undivided attention for X amount of minutes afterward to color or read a story. You may also try stars and make up a reward for a certain amount. My mother had a heck of a time potty training me. She told me that when I was 3 1/2 that "Santa" brought me some underwear and left a note saying that if I wet them he would take them away(sounds cruel to me.LOL)and it worked. I don't recommend this exactly, but you may like to take her out to buy her own panties if she does #2 on the potty. She may make more of an effort if she is afraid to soil her special panties.