OneDayAtATime

First, I think it is very exciting when a child shows developmental progression showing she is REALLY 2!

I have a little guy that is 27 months old and globally developmentally delayed. He has been having some wonderful tantrums lately. I say that because the Docs told me he was cognizantly only 14 months old. If he was only cognizantly 14 months old he wouldn't be having the full body loud tantrums he has.

Please, don't misunderstand. I understand your frustration. I am not trying to shame you for your concerns because a screeching child can be taxing. The point I want to make is she is being developmentally appropriate.

That being said, it is our job as Mom to help our 2 yos find other ways to cope with their frustrations.

Two year olds have developed cognizantly to the point where they get there is a world around them with very cool interesting things in it. They want to explore. They want to eat foods of their own choosing. They want to play with toys of their own choosing (even it if it a toy older brother is holding).

Imagine how frustrated you would be if you had a want or need and didn't have any words to ask for that thing. They go for the baser instinct of screeching to get the need met. It is the only thing they know. For 2 years of their life, Mom responded every time they cried. Now, they ramp up the volume.

My 2 yo has 5 words he uses spontaneously. But he KNOWS what he wants. He just doesn't know how to tell me so he screams.

Asking her what she wants is the absolute perfect response. I ask my son to use his words to tell me what he wants. I know it sounds odd that I would as a 2 yo that has 5 words to use his words. I believe all the frustration he has will motivate him to FIND his words.

I keep telling him to use the energy he throws into his frustration into finding ways of telling me what he needs.

I know I nail the need when he stops crying. He doesn't need to cry anymore because I figured it out. At the same time, I continue to reinforce, "Use your words. Mama wants to help you but I don't understand what you want when you scream. Help me help you."

Your daughter will get it. Continue to reinforce the words. It will take time. She isn't going to stop screeching overnight. Chances are you will still deal with screeching for a few years just not as intense as now. But it will improve.

When she points to the cracker box, say, "Oh, you want some crackers." Can you say crackers? Or "Oh, you want to play with the doll." Ok. Can you say Doll? If she says "D", jump up and down and congratulate her.

I require my son to say "more" before I give him another bite of food. Often, his "more" is "mmmm". That is enough. It is much more than he was doing and it is a start. The point is to reinforce communication. He is telling me what he wants. Now, I will be at the sink with him in his highchair. He will get my attention by saying, "Mumumumumum". Yes? "mmmmmmm" Oh, you want more crackers? We just had a conversation.

The entire deal behind "terrible 2s" is their frustration over having needs and wants they don't have words to express. All developmentally appropriate. Continue to do what you are doing in helping her find ways to express herself and you will both feel much better.

Good luck, you are doing the exact right thing.

Bec

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Mom to 2 beautiful children. A 2 yo with global developmental delay from vaccine injury. A loving 6 yo. And myself a migraine survivor, dietary managed.

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Mom to 2 beautiful children. A 2 yo with global developmental delay from vaccine injury. A loving 6 yo. And myself a migraine survivor, dietary managed.