My baby wont go to sleep!! - Children's Health Message Board

LiLnuTTy · 07-03-2003, 07:44 AM

My daughter just turned 5 mo. old , and she refuses to let herself relax and fall asleep. SHe fights it terrible. She can be totally exhausted, but tries so hard not to let herself drop off. Ive tried everything. Even letting her cry for a while on her own in her bed....she wont even cry herself to sleep...I can let her cry for 15 min - 1/2 hour going in her room every few minutes to calm her down, and she still wont sleep. I dont like to let her cry anymore than that, what mother does? I dont know what else to do, shes up till at least 8:30 every night. ANd during the day, forget it, she sleeps a total of 2 hours on a GOOD day....anyone have any suggestions????

mlgable · 07-03-2003, 09:22 AM

Not sure if any of my suggestions will work but have you tried a lullabye tape playing in the background or perhaps a massage before you want her to go to sleep. I had one child that slept long and often and thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn well there is my daughter. She takes forever to fall asleep and was the one who didn't take a morning nap much and if she had a 5-10 minutes nap when tired her batteries were recharged and ready to go. I never did find a magic solution for her and know that she is pretty much my body double as far as her traits go. She has been diagnosed with ADD tendencies now and what that means is that her brain is constantly engaged thinking of tons of thoughts and it is unable to just shut off so she can fall asleep like "normal" people do . This what distracts her when she is in school too. I can relate very well to that. It sounds to me like you baby is like that. To interested in everything that is going on to even think of letting herself fall asleep. Hopefully some other parents will come up with tons more ideas for you to try and one will work.

camden · 07-03-2003, 12:33 PM

I like the musical light up toys that you can get to attach to the side of the crib. I found they worked miracles as they played for about 7 min. I hated the mobiles because just as the child was falling asleep it quit and woke them up. I had the lights and sound monitor for my son and the underwater fish one for my daughter.

I know what a struggle it can be to get kids to sleep. While both of mine slept fine at night it was difficult to get my first one to sleep in his crib for a nap because he usually fell asleep in a carriage or swing then we would move him to his crib. He never did learn to nap in that crib and would usually fall asleep in a chair or on the floor. With my second we made sure to put her in her crib for naps from the beginning and we never had a problem with her.

As for your child being up until 8:30 every night, I do not understand. How early do you want her to go to bed. When ours were young like that I always held out as long as possible that way I could feed them and put them to bed right before we went and they would sleep longer in the morning.

As children get older they do not nap as often or as long. Two hours seems perfectly normal to me. I would put my kids down for a nap at about 10 am and again between 1&2pm and they would only sleep for about an hour, if I let them sleep too long they wouldn't sleep at night. I wouldn't worry too much about it because stressing about them will make you crazy. If my son slept he slept if he didn't he didn't. I once had enough and decided that I would let him cry in there as long as it took. An hour later I was at my wits end and he was still screaming his head off. That was the last time I tried that!

LiLnuTTy · 07-03-2003, 05:25 PM

Ive tried lullabies when she was smaller, Maybe I'll give it another shot.
I also have one of those aquariums that attach to the side of her crib,and one of those toysd that plays music and lights up on the ceiling, she loves them butwont fall asleep to them. And she wont fall asleep to her mobil either.
As for the 8:30pm thing, I think thats PLENTY late for a 5 month old that hardly sleeps during the day.
Ive worked at daycares, and all the babies Ive ever watched took an hour to 2 hr nap in the morning and an afternoon nap.
When your child turns 10, he or she is just going to think she can stay up until you go to bed, and thts not a good habit to get into. The same bed time every night is a good habit to get into.

camden · 07-04-2003, 12:28 PM

I would like to respond to that last remark about my children thinking they can stay up all night. First of all both of our children slept in our room, one until he was 8mths the other until she was two and we NEVER had a problem getting them to sleep in their own room when it came time. My children are now 7&3 and both have their own rooms. They both go to bed at the 8:30 every night. My youngest has the same bedtime as the oldest because she does not have school to attend. In the summer both of them get to stay up until 9pm. My son never complains about going to bed and my daughter sometimes asks to stay up a little longer, but when told no she heads to bed. I have never had to fight with either of my kids to get them to bed.

So, although routine is good, I found the routine of putting them to bed later when they were infants was a good routine, it also allowed my husband who was at work all day a chance to spend some time with them. Now an earlier routine works for us and when my daughter starts school she will likely have to go to bed earlier than her brother. Though routine is good it has to evolve as your child grows. I'm sure you are not going to put your daughter to bed at the same time for the rest of her life! I find what works the best is not so much the routine but the fact that I said it is bedtime therefore it is bedtime.