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Old 09-22-2005, 07:21 AM   #1
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momof4boys HB User
6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

Hi,
I have a 6 year old son that is driving everyone he comes in contact with crazy.

My son is the 3rd out of 4 boys...Their ages are 14, 9,6,2

His behavior issues started when he was a baby....He would climb out of his crib when he was 12 months old and never stay there. He would pick at people and pester them until he got attention.

He is a perfect little gentleman when he is at home alone. When ever we go anyplace he has to touch anything and everything in sight. He hides in clothes racks, he opens food products on the shelves, he feels the need to touch everyone that walks by. I have to keep a constant eye on him to make sure he is not doing anything wrong.

When people come over he is a pest. He has to hug them, touch them kiss them, jump on them, bounce on them, etc. I pull him off and turn around and he is back on them.

He is banned from our neighbor's yard because he kept walking into their house and garage.

He punched out his brother's loose baby tooth goofing around at a store.

He punched his brother in the nose and made it bleed at a different store.

He has no concept of what will hurt someone and he never thinks before he does anything.


He just started K5 and then the saga continued.

The first week he was sick and they had him go to the office to wait for me to pick him up. He decided he needed to wait for me outside by the road without any adults knowing where he was.

The next week he had a note sent home for pushing another boy. This was not pushing in a mean way he was goofing around and had to push him thinking it was funny.

Then he had a note sent home saying he threw a pine cone out of the school bus window and hit a teacher.

Then we kicked into high gear the 3rd week.
This began with...
#1. Kissing other children
#2. Not throwing a cup away when told to do so 3 times.
#3. Wiping glue onto someone elses art project.
#4. Leaving class and walking in the hall and the principal had to walk him back to class.
The last one he said he did because he wanted to find his older brother because none of his family was there and he was feeling alone.

Day two of the 3rd week was putting paper towels in the urinal in the bathroom.

We have a rewards system set up that if we dont have a note sent home he gets certain things at different stages depending on how many days in a row he can go without a note coming home.

We discussed this as I was dropping him off at school and not even 10 seconds later he was hugging a girl that did not want to be touched.

We don't know what to do any more. We are grasping at anything to help him. Yesterday we started giving him Fish oil capulets with omega 3 only Because I read that it helps with ADD and I dont even know if that is what he has...

We don't even know why he does the things he does to know if the Fish oil will help. I don't even know who to contact to get him help. I just know that with the path that he is on now he not have any frineds, teachers will hate him, and he will live a lonely miserable life.

So I don't know if anyone else went through these things or if anyone has any suggestions on what will help. My husband wants to send him to bording school....I am exhaused and live for bed times.

Thanks

 
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Old 09-22-2005, 07:38 AM   #2
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Re: 6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

I have to laugh because I just taught a class and I swear I had this little boy. I personally favored him because I understood his curiosity, he get bored easily and he's realized that there are soooo many things out there to do. A doctor will label him with ADD or ADHD. My sister in law goes the healthy way and says that some kids have a allergic reaction from sugar and milk. She did the experiement and took them off of sugar and milk and I think breads do you know they actually became sick!! Then after two weeks she was told to put a drop, only one small drop of milk under her childs tongue and her temperture sky rocketed. If you want to do it a healthy way you can search the web for homeopathic remedies for ADD or ADHD. It's worth a try. There are lots of things to try.....maybe find a extra curricular activity such as baseball where he is a team member and can touch the balls and bats and run. Maybe something science since he likes to see the reactions of things. The child I taught liked to hug me alot too and I mean ALOT. I had to tell him that it was enough and I knew he was a sweet and good boy but he could not hug me all the time.
I don't think teachers will hate him if you explain his situation and if they are a good teacher they will have their ways of dealing with him. I do NOT agree with a boarding school, what message will this send to your child? It sounds as if he's reaching out for attention..don't smother it....just find a place for it. If he likes to hug have him go to a nursing home on a certain day and talk with the older people and let him hug away. Take him places so he can learn different experiements. Go to the library and buy a science book. If he doesn't want to stand next to you at a store then buy a hand leash and put him to the buggy...he will HATE it so he will learn to stand and not wander. My son went outside his school yesturday and stood outside the doors to wait for me without an adult too. They think they are big boys and can do this stuff. You son sounds perfectly normal, maybe a bit hyper but you just have to find a place for him to put it. My kids are not like your son but I am exhausted at bedtime too. That's what we get for having more then one child. hahaha Keep posting sweetie. Love that baby, it's your job to find his outlet. Search the web and ask parents of children with ADD or ADHD.

 
Old 09-22-2005, 07:58 AM   #3
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valleygurl HB User
Re: 6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

Hi There, It is hard to say if he is doing all these things for attention, even if it does give him negative attention, in a childs eyes it is still attention. So by sending him to a boarding school that could be very devestating to him IF he thinks he is not getting enough attention now.

I know exactly what you are going through! My Sister-in- law (she was my best friend) died very unexpectedly last year. At the time her children were 4,7 and 3 months. I ended up raising the 4 (boy) and 7 (girl) year olds. The 4 year old has had major behavior issues since he was just big enough to get around, like your boy. So even though his mother passed away we couldnt even use her death as a reason for his behavior. I had NEVER seen a child with such horrible behavior issues as his, and i have 5 children of my own with my oldest boy having ADHD. I thought i had it rough raising my boy, but this 4 year old proved to me that raising my boy was a piece of cake.

This 4 year old also has a problem keeping his hands to himself!!!!!!
He total invades EVERYONES personal space, always touching people even after they clearly tell him to keep his hands to himself. There is absolutely NO DICIPLINE that works with this child as he is a repeat offender. He would do something bad and i could get down on his level and talk to him and explain to him why he wasnt allowed to do certain things as well as tell him the consequences if he does it again, he will acknowledge it and then walk away and go right directly and do the same thing again!

It doesnt matter what he does wrong, if you ask him why he did it he will say
"because i wanted to"! He turned 5 last March and nothing has changed. He has to wear a pull up to bed as well as he will often pee his pants and sometimes poop his pants during the day. Most of the time when he goes in his pants it is him being spiteful, as he will stand in front of the bathroom door and go in his pants!

The terrible things that this child does is just to many to list, but i am sure you can imagine. He went to live with his biological father in July, I love this child but that was the happiest day of my life!!!!!!!!!!! While i had him he attended a special needs preschool, this teacher has dealt with many children with behavior issues throughout the years, even she had no idea what to do with him, as nothing gets through to him! His teacher even told me that she was scared to think what is going to happen to this child and where he will be when he is a teenager.

Now that he is with his father he has gotten even worse, as his father does not and will not dicipline him!

My suggestion to you would be to call your local Human Services Agency and see what type of programs they may have available for him to attend. They would probably even set him up with some counceling. In the mean time i would talk to your pediatrician and have them make a referral for your child to be evaluated to see if he fits a criteria for a diagnosis.

Sorry if i wasnt much help, but i also wanted you to know that you are not alone and that there are many children out there who struggle with their behavior!

Good Luck,
ValleyGurl

 
Old 09-22-2005, 11:47 AM   #4
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danimal15 HB User
Re: 6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

I think counseling is in order. I know a 5-year old who's getting counseling for some of this same behavior -mostly she has a problem recognizing boundaries - where another person's space begins and her's ends. She's always very physical, just like your boy.
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Old 09-22-2005, 01:25 PM   #5
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momof4boys HB User
Re: 6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by danimal15
I think counseling is in order. -mostly she has a problem recognizing boundaries - where another person's space begins and her's ends. She's always very physical, just like your boy.
What kind of counseling? From where?

Thanks everyone for your help!!!

 
Old 09-22-2005, 02:44 PM   #6
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Re: 6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

I don't remember exactly. Her dad (my friend) told me about it a month ago, but I don't want to ask him again for fear of sounding like a busy-body. Ask a child psychologist if they've ever provided counseling for children who don't recognize boundaries. That's the word I remember him using (boundaries)

Good luck.
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Old 09-23-2005, 04:37 AM   #7
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valleygurl HB User
Re: 6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

There is a couple ways you can seek counseling for your child.

Go to your childs school psychologist, they can offer (or they can refer) you to a counselor.

Talk to your childs pediatrician, he/she can refer you to a counselor or a child psychologist as well as make arrangements for your child to be tested if you wish.

You could also contact your local Human Services Agency and they can tell you what is available for your child as well as to help you get it all set up.

There is so much out there available for your child, it is just a matter of seeking it out.

Good luck,
ValleyGurl

 
Old 09-23-2005, 07:31 AM   #8
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danimal15 HB User
Re: 6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

The little girl I told you about is getting occupational therapy. What they believe she has is an "immature" nervous system. Eventually, she should be OK, but in the meantime, the therapy helps her learn to control her impulses better.
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Old 09-23-2005, 10:20 AM   #9
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momof4boys HB User
Re: 6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by danimal15
The little girl I told you about is getting occupational therapy. What they believe she has is an "immature" nervous system. Eventually, she should be OK, but in the meantime, the therapy helps her learn to control her impulses better.
Wow that's on I didn't hear of. My sister-in-law is an OT I will have to call her and see what she says.

Thanks guys!

 
Old 09-24-2005, 11:37 PM   #10
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lucky7 HB User
Re: 6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

My 5 yr old daughter sounds like your son. When she was barely 2 she managed to unlock her window to her bedroom and pushed her toys through the screen and climbed out. Luckily our dog prevented her from leaving the yard. We live on a ranch and she couldn't go too far without getting stickers once she got off the lawn. She was quick at doing this as well. I was bathing our youngest child and changing her when she did all of this. We have had ot get all of our meds and put them in a tackle box and put locks on it so she won't get into them. She was able to climb the cabinets at 2. She loves to touch ppl as well but not hugging them. She want them to dance with her. She has a very short attention span. I homeschool both my girls and it is very hard for her to focus. I had one of our bedroom made into a school room with chalkboard and all. We had shelves and and desks brought in. It looks just like a classroom. She is so distracted with what is on the walls and all of the manipulatives on the shelves she does not pay attention. My other daughter (4yrs) does extremely well. They are both doing kindergarten. I have enrolled my 5 yr old in gymnastics and she starts on Monday. So hopefully this will help. On Wednesday she does Missionettes which is kind of like girl scouts but through the church. She is around other children since we do go to places and do programs and projects with other homeschool families.
I wish you well with your son. I know my daughter has kept me busy since she started walking.
If you want to compare stories I have plenty of wild ones that she has done.

 
Old 09-25-2005, 04:31 AM   #11
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jeffreys mom HB User
Re: 6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

Hi..... My son is on the Autistic Spectrum (PDD). While your son does not sound like he has PDD, it does sound like he may have some Sensory issues which could explain some of his behaviors (like the need for hugs, and walking around at inappropriate times, always touching things or people, jumping on people is called crashing). Sensory issues can appear as though the child has impulse control problems. I feel bad for him because I'm sure he doesn't want to be in trouble. It sounds like Sensory issues and if so he just can't help it.

I agree with the first poster about dietary changes. ADD and PDD are in the same family of Neurological Disorders. While your son sounds like he may have some of the ADHD signs, he may do very well with an adjustment to his diet along with some Occupational Therapy to help with the Sensory issues.

I can speak for my son who one year ago presented as a classic Autistic child and after removing all dairy from his diet he is a different child. Whenever my son has a dietary infraction and eats something that contains milk, his behaviors are off the wall.

If you look up GF/CF diet on the internet, you will see for yourself that there are alot of people who swear that a Cebral Milk allergy is the problem which is controlled if not totally resolved by removing the offending food.

I hope this has helped some. I'm just curious.... How much milk does your son consume in a day?

I would also consider having him evaluated by a developmental pediatrician. They would be better able to tell you if your son does indeed have Sensory Integration Disorder ( SID) and how best to help him. Good luck....
If I can answer any questions, feel free to ask.

Last edited by jeffreys mom; 09-25-2005 at 05:00 AM.

 
Old 09-25-2005, 11:04 AM   #12
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Re: 6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN ADHD. THERE ARE CHILDREN OUT THERE THAT HAVE MORE NEEDS THAN OTHERS. THERE ARE CHILDREN OUT THERE WHO ARE PERFECTLY AWARE OF WHAT MAY BE OUT THERE, AND THEIR CURIOUS LITTLE BRAINS ARE CRAVING THE KNOWLEDGE. THE CHILDREN WHO EVERYONE LABLES AS ADHD NEED MORE ATTENTION MORE LIFE EXPERIANCE AT A YOUNGER AGE. EVERY CHILD CRAVES KNOWLEDGE, JUST SOME MORE THAN OTHERS. THAT IS WHY THEY ARE WRESTLESS AND WHAT SEEMS TO EVERYONE TO BE A CHILD THAT IS NOT WELL DISCIPLINED. THEY ARE BORED. THESE CHILDREN NEED MORE. MORE STIMULATION. HAVE YOUR CHILD VOLUNTEER SOMEWHERE SPECIAL, NOT ONLY ARE THEY KEPT BUSY, BUT THEY LEARN HOW TO GIVE. HAVE YOUR CHILD HELP OUT MORE. MY BROTHER LEARNED HOW TO COOK WHEN HE WAS 5. HE WAS ON OVERACTIVE BORED CHILD TOO. COOKING TEACHES HOW TO WORK WITH OTHERS AS WELL AS MATH, AND HOW TO DO FOR OTHERS. HE IS NOW 17 AND WILL BE ATTENDING A CULINARY COLLEGE IN CONNECTICUT. MY OTHER BROTHER WAS NOT ONLY A "PROBLEM CHILD" BUT HAD ANGER ISSUES AND SOME HEARING LOSS AND A SPEACH IMPEDIMENT. SO THAT WAS A BIT MORE DIFFICULT. HE USED TO DRIVE MY MOTHER UP THE WALL TEARING THINGS UP AROUND THE HOUSE TRYING TO "FIX" THEM. hE WAS JUST PROMOTED TO MANAGER AN APARTMENT COMPLEX DOING MAINTANANCE, AND THEY ARE OFFERING TO PUT HIM THROUGH SCHOOL. I WAS THE QUIET AND SHY ONE THAT WAS BORED AND JUST HID IT. I FOUND MY WAY. I AM NOW ONE OF THE FEW WOMEN MACHINISTS AND WELDERS IN MY AREA WITH A 3.75 GPA IN COLLEGE. I HAVE THREE MORE CLASSES UNTIL I GET MY MACHINISTS CERTIFICATE. I ALSO HAVE A WONDERFUL HUSBAND AND TO CHILDREN WHO ARE EXACTLY LIKE ME AND MY BROTHERS. I GET NOTES FROM THE TEACHER SAYING HOW MUCH OF A DISTRACTION MY SON IS BECAUSE HE IS ALWAYS FIGITING. "BUT HE ALWAYS FINISHES HIS HOMEWORK IN CLASS" MY SON TELLS ME THAT THE WORK IS BORING AND HE KNOWS IT ALREADY. HE WAS READING BOOKS WITH CHAPTERS AT AGE 5! THEY TESTED HIM FOR GIFTED BUT THEY SAY HE IS TOO SERIUOS AND LACKS A SENSE OF HUMOR. AND FIGITED THROUGH THE WHOLE TESTING PROCESS.THE POINT IS WHEN YOU LABEL A CHILD AS ADHD THEY THINK THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM. DONT EVEN MENTION ADHD. HIS MIND IS AHEAD OF OTHERS AND NEEDS MORE INFORMATION AND ATTENTION. CAREFULLY WATCH HIM. SEE WHAT HIS INTERESTS ARE. IF THERE IS AN ACTIVITY THAT CAN KEEP HIM MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY BUSY YOU GOT YOURSELF A WINNER. LET HIM SHOW YOU WHAT IT IS THAT HE LIKES. GO WITH THE FLOW. ASK HIM TO SHOW YOU. MOST IMPORTANTLY, TEACH BOUNDERIES. STRESS BOUNDERIES. THEIR LITTLE BRAINS ARE TAKING IT IN SO FAST THAT THEY FORGET ABOUT BOUNDERIES. ONLY YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD, DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT. GOOD LUCK.

 
Old 09-25-2005, 11:32 AM   #13
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jeffreys mom HB User
Re: 6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

ADHD is a true Neurological Disorder. I like Dove believe it is a bit over used and SOME kids out there have that dx are probably in need of more attention. As Dove said; only you know your child. If you think there are problems that you don't understand and extra attention doesn't resolve them then you should explore other possibilities.

Personally I think he has some Sensory issues and there is nothing wrong with looking to have him DIAGNOSED in order to help him and you make sense of what he's going through.

A diagnosis is not a bad thing. It's about HELPING a child, not about LABELING a child. Good Luck

Last edited by jeffreys mom; 09-25-2005 at 11:38 AM.

 
Old 09-28-2005, 06:56 AM   #14
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momof4boys HB User
Re: 6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

Thank you for all of your help!

I talked to my sister-in-law regarding sensory intergration and she is doing some checking for me. She works with elderly not peds.

I don't believe in labeling a child either! I just know he has so much energy and curiosity and I don't know how to channel it.

The only thing that holds his attention is video games, which I limit. He also likes being on the computer and knows how to connect to the internet, down load what he wants and save it into his folder.

I'm in awe when he does some things and then when he does other things I stand there and think why did he do that. If I ask him why, he doesn't know and I really don't think he knows how to stop touching others.

My Mom told him that for every week he goes without getting a note sent home she will send him $5. And if he gets a note the $5 goes to his brother.
I'm so excited that Monday and Tuesday there were no notes sent home!
I can't even imagine how his teacher feels with how distracting he is to the rest of the class!

 
Old 09-28-2005, 04:38 PM   #15
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Re: 6 Year Old Driving Everyone Crazy!! HELP!!!!

Hi, There is a book called " The Out of Sync Child " which you may find interesting if you feel SID is a possibility. However if the behaviors are disappearing with a monetary incentive then it may just be behaviors he needs to learn to work through.

There was a nice article in the Parents Magazine on diciplining your child this month. It was talking about ignoring the undesired behaviors and praising all the good behaviors. It said commenting on negative behavior, we are giving the child attention for it. So if we only comment on the good behaviors the child will strive for more positive attention. Basically, it says praise them to death on all the basic every day things. ie: Wow that was a good job you did brushing your teeth; They look so shiney. Then the child is so much more cooperative because they are getting reinforced for doing so.

I'm glad to hear he has been better the past couple of days. I hope things keep going well for all of you. Good Luck. Keep me posted

 
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