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Old 11-07-2005, 09:29 PM   #1
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My 8 year old pees and poops on floor

When my 8 year old goes to take a bath, he pees or poops on the floor and will not say a thing. I asked him why he does that and he says he can not hold it long enough to get to the toilet. Hello the toilet is right there. When we go on road trips and he says he needs to go to the bathroom, we tell him to hold it and he does for another 30 minutes to an hour longer. He can make it to the bathroom any other time. I just do not understand him. How come he can hold it any other time but not when he is in the bath tub. I also told him to get out of the tub and use the toilet even thought he is not finish with his bath. My 4 year old gets out and uses the toilet and gets back in the tub, so how come my 8 year old can not do it. We tell him to use the toilet before he gets in but for some reason it still happens. I just do not know what to do.

 
Old 11-08-2005, 03:28 AM   #2
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Re: My 8 year old pees and poops on floor

I think you need to sit down and have a real talk with him about why he does it. I am going to assume by your post that this is the only time he has troubles with this? What i would do is take his privicy away. Have yourself or his father sit in the bathroom. you can close the shower door and just sit in there and read a book or whatever....you dont want to take all his privicy away, just enough so that he cannot do that.
It could be an attention getting thing also, so try and talk to him to see if anything is bothering him. Try to spend some one on one time with him (assuming you don't)...if he's getting lots of attention from both parents than i would just work with creating a situation where going on the floor isn't an option. You could also make him take showers rather than a bath.

 
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Old 11-08-2005, 06:55 AM   #3
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Re: My 8 year old pees and poops on floor

Do you make him clean it up?

 
Old 11-08-2005, 01:51 PM   #4
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Re: My 8 year old pees and poops on floor

I do not make him clean it up, but I should. One thing that helps is he does it on the towel thats on the floor. I like putting a towel on the floor for when they get out instead of a rug. So all I got to do is put the towel in the washer and clean up what ever did make it off the towel. I try to talk to him about how he feels about things and I get al ittle from him but then he says he doesn't want to talk any more. He is also lazy about doing things. He does not clean him self half the time when he does take a bath, he just plays in there and does not even wipe him self very well and he doesn't brash his teeth very good. To me he is pretty dirty child. I just do not know what to do. He is old enough to do all this things for him self. Why does he like to be so unclean?

Dot368

 
Old 11-09-2005, 06:58 AM   #5
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Re: My 8 year old pees and poops on floor

I got 4 kids and one of them is a dirty child as well. Doesn't care for clean teeth, doesn't dry herself off very well when taking a shower or bath, never uses a napkin (so she comes out of school with a dirty face every day) doesn't mind to walk around in dirty clothes (paint and glue all over the place). Doesn't mind her long hair all tangled up...Horrific handwriting. It is pretty amazing.
She also has encopresis (which is a big word for having poop accidents due to chronic contstipation). These two are related (not having a clean bottom and not having clean hands/face): it is a sensory integration problem: these kids simply do not feel dirty!
Peeing on the floor while standing next to a toilet: been there! It is soooo frustrating (my daughter never pooped on the floor though, thank heavens).

Making him clean up his own mess is the first step you should take: he is 8 is is capable of doing that. Taking him to a pediatrician or gastro enterologist (sp?) would be my second step, just to rule out any constipation problems (warm water will help impacted bowels loose up).
Get him evaluated by an OT as well, just to see how serious the sensory intergation problem is.
In our case nagging helped to some extent: simply repeating "wash your hand" "wash your face" till she got sick of it. Even though she doesn't feel dirty, she could simply develop a routine to keep clean! Right now I can tell by the way her hair looks and how clean her face is, if her bowels are ok. It is a really frustrating problem.

Oh, and forcing him to use the bathroom before he gets in the bath is going to be a major battle that you will loose, so try not to go there! (tried that LOL)

Hang in there.

L.

 
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Old 11-10-2005, 03:47 PM   #6
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Re: My 8 year old pees and poops on floor

Wow....you dont make him clean up his mess, when you want to talk to him about this behavior he doesnt want to talk about it,.......does he even have ANY CONSEQUENCES for his actions?????

If he were my child there WOULD be consequences, if he can hold it on car trips, doesnt have accidents at school or anywhere else, can use the bathroom correctly at all times EXCEPT at bath time, then surely he would be answering to me as to why he is doing this and there wouldnt be no "i dont want to talk about it".

As the other poster here said, his total bath time privacy would be over as well as all his other hygiene practices would be supervised and it would be done correctly. If you supervised his bath time and all goes well without any type of "accidents" then it will be obvious that these "accidents" are due to behavior issues that will clearly need addressed.

Does he have any other behavior issues? What is your dicipline practice?
Children need to be held accountable for their actions, if not, imagine what their behavior would be like as adults.

I truely wish you and your child the best!
Valley

 
Old 11-11-2005, 02:26 PM   #7
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Re: My 8 year old pees and poops on floor

We have spanked, grounded, took toys away, no tv, no computer, no video games, and he still does it. The last time he did it he came crying to us and told us he did it again. if he can hold it other times he can hold it when he takes a bath or if he feels the need, he can get out and do it and get back in.
He told me he just can not hold it. Makes no sense. He has told me he stands in the tub and pees on the floor and on the way out of the tub he poops on the way to the toilet. But I never had a time where he does it both. It is one or the other. One day he pees on the floor and one day he poops on the floor. Now he does not do it every day. I have had it with this stuff.

Dot368

 
Old 11-12-2005, 05:42 AM   #8
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Re: My 8 year old pees and poops on floor

Quote:
Originally Posted by dot368
We have spanked, grounded, took toys away, no tv, no computer, no video games, and he still does it. The last time he did it he came crying to us and told us he did it again. if he can hold it other times he can hold it when he takes a bath or if he feels the need, he can get out and do it and get back in.
He told me he just can not hold it. Makes no sense. He has told me he stands in the tub and pees on the floor and on the way out of the tub he poops on the way to the toilet. But I never had a time where he does it both. It is one or the other. One day he pees on the floor and one day he poops on the floor. Now he does not do it every day. I have had it with this stuff.

Dot368
Dot, I really do feel for you and i do know how frustrating it is, especially when the child keeps doing it despite any and all forms of dicipline.

I had custody of my 5 year old nephew for a year, he would deliberately pee on his bedroom room floor! The bathroom was just across the hall from his room!!!!!! At times he would poop on his bedroom floor and then cover it up with a throw rug! I know that this was clearly a behavior issue as there was absolutely no physical reason for him to do it. Any form of dicipline i or my hubby tried just didnt work! He started this behavior as soon as he was able to walk so when i got custody of him this behavior had already been an issue.
I am not sure if he continues to do this nasty stuff as he now lives with his father.

If i were in your situation bath time for your child would be strictly supervised EVERY time as well as there would be no play time in the tub, he would be in and out. If you can supervise him every time and there are no ISSUES then you will clearly know that this is a behavior issue and not something physically causing it!

Once you determine that it is indeed a behavior i would then decide where to go from there in dealing with it.

Good luck to you,
Valley

 
Old 11-12-2005, 07:00 AM   #9
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Angry Re: My 8 year old pees and poops on floor

As a friend of ours,son started doing this from about 4,he had been fine before that ,he would go up to the toilet and stand next to the toilet and pee on the floor,then would stand in the bath and poop in the bath, he would then wipe his bum and flush it down the toilet
this went on for ages to the point they went up with him and made him sit on the toilet,he then started not telling them when he was going to the toilet and he then started doing again as above with the difference of he would wipe his bum then stick the tissue on the wall
that was the last straw for his mother and she took him to a doctor and then to the local hospital who neither could give her a good reason why it was happening he was about 6 by then after 2 yrs of on and off dirtiness with no sign of improvement,his mother then ran into a lady who had gone thru a similiar thing with her son who told her she would have to get extremely nasty with her son and after every incident she should make him sit on the toilet for 10 minutes without getting up,she would then clean up what he had done,then from the toilet seat she should give him a damn good spanking until his bum was red raw,after 3-4 more incidents when she followed this routine it started to decrease to once in a while and within 6 months he had stopped permanently,he is now 10 yrs old and hes never done it since there seems no answer to why he did it but it stopped quickly

 
Old 12-10-2005, 09:37 AM   #10
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Re: My 8 year old pees and poops on floor

I have not had the problem of them peeing/pooing on the floor deliberately, so I can't say I have positively been in your shoes. However, how would it be if he didn't remove his clothing until sitting on the toilet? Then he really wouldn't have an excuse since he was still clothed? Just a thought. However, you're not alone in the cleaning up after others area. I had to install a special sign above the bathroom toilet that everyone uses because ppl were hitting the back rim and splattering urine all over my walls. Worse yet - I didn't know who would do it since the neighbor men would be over to watch football, etc. Now as a reminder...the sign says: "Please.....if you can't hit the HOLE, sit on the BOWL!! The Walls Thank You".
Maybe some sort of sign along with waiting to undress until sitting on the toilet would have an effect? Just a thought.
Hang in there - even if he likes to be dirty.....not long until he notices girls and that they don't like dirty.....then you won't be able to keep him out of the bathroom and away from the mirror.....lol

 
Old 12-11-2005, 01:36 AM   #11
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Re: My 8 year old pees and poops on floor

I agree with Luka. It sounds like the warm bath water is causing your 8 year old to suddenly relax his bowels. Since he was crying about it, I don't think he's doing it on purpose. Maybe you should sit him on the toilet before the bath, and tell him he needs to relax (try taking deep breaths or something... maybe drink something warm?)

It's hard to resist punishing him, but in this case, I don't think he deserves it. Try positive reinforcement, instead. For example, if he can poop right before his bath, give him praise, or a small reward. I think relaxation is the key here... either that, or maybe he needs to take showers instead of tub baths.

I hope you try it, and I hope it works. Hang in there!

 
Old 12-11-2005, 03:48 AM   #12
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Lightbulb Re: My 8 year old pees and poops on floor

I agree with Candy.
i just had an idea.
I don't know if your sons is deliberate or not, but if it isnt, then keep a potty nearby, it does sound a bit stupid, he might feel a bit too old and refuse. But all you can do is try, so if hes in the bath and he has to go, he can grab the potty and then just stand in the bath and do it while standing up, it will be easier for you and him. But if he doesnt want to - or you don't, then don't make him. but if it comes out when he stands up , then this wont work, but if it only happens when he stands up and starts moving his legs, then it might. If it doesnt work (or you dont wanna try it) then id go along with other peoples soloutions.
This is just an i dea i came up with and i havnt tried it so im not too sure it will work... worth a try though .

Sophie

 
Old 12-26-2005, 04:47 AM   #13
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Re: My 8 year old pees and poops on floor

I do know that one of my boys had big problems with constipation and I found that a warm bath seemed to relax him and he went. I'd get the pediatrician to do some tests and figure out what's going on.

 
Old 12-29-2005, 05:47 AM   #14
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Re: My 8 year old pees and poops on floor

I would think that by now,you would know wether this is a deliberate act or not,It does sound like a control issue as in he is trying to control you by doing this.if this IS being done deliberately.I think a bit of 'shock' therepy may work on him.really. the next time he does this,do not say a word,just come up be hind him and give him a swat on the behind,and also make him clean up the mess.I am not someone who ever advocates hitting children at all.but my children were spanked when it was a kind of life or death issue that was repeated,like running into the street?that sort of thing?But this child is eight years old and you know he is actually capable of holding it.and from what you have stated he has not done this any other time except the bath time thing?I mean this has gone on way too long and it has to stop somehow.when my oldest was very young,around five?he would actually pull down his pants and go to the bathroom outside.why?I have no clue,as he never really explained that part of it to me.but one day.my husband saw him doing this,came up behind him with that swat on the behind,said nothing else and walked away and he never ever did that again.i really think that for some reason,your son is trying to just keep some sort of control over you by doing this,really.maybe giving him more choices over other things may hel alleviate this need he seems to have to control this particular issue.he knows he is controlling you by getting that reaction out of you.by just swatting him the next time he does this and telling him that if he continues this he will get yet another swat until this just stops,maybe he will finally get the message that you are just not going to tolerate this any longer.i mean enough is enough and he seems to continue this no matter what.i think if this tuely were some sort of a medical issue you would definitely have been seeing many other signs and lots of other accidents.giving him a suprise swat on the bare butt may be just the little shock to him to make him stop.don;t tell him waht you are going to do,just do it and explain why and what will keep happeneing if he keeps this up.if this does not work,well,then it may be some other more deeper mental health issue.but it does appear to be just a way of maintaining some control over you and your reactions to it.like i stated above,try giving him more choices over the things that really don't matter.maybe that in itself will reduce this need he has over controling this particular issue.but at eight years of age,he definitely knows what he is supposed to be doing and not doing.good luck,please keep us all posted.marcia

 
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