Hey everyone. My son is 4 1/2 and we have been living with my parents for 2years now (( hubby got out of the military,we moved back home to save up for our own place )). We are moving this weekend to our own place, about 3 hours away from my parents. In the last 2 years, jake has gotten really attached to his grandparents ans he is having a very hard time with the fact that we are moving. He is visually upset, gets really emotional and is acting out a lot. We have told him that he will still see grandma and grandpa and we've told about all the fun stuff there is to do at the new house and the new area but it doesnt seem to be sinking in. Im trying to be patient with him and I feel so sad for him but I just dont know what else to do. If anyone has any suggestions for how to help him, please share with me! Any ideas will be appreciated. Thank you so much! -Andrea
Married to Jared-July 6th, 2002
Jacob Patrick born-April 11th, 2002
Brenna Eve born May 11, 2005
I am so sorry you are having such a hard time with your son. Maybe these ideas will help. Ask your parents for a picture of themselves for your son, this should be one that he ca keep in his new room at his new home. When he feels lonely for them he can take out their pictures. Help him make a scrapbook with pictures of his new house to share with his grandparents. Let him go through each room in the new house and take his own pictures. When he finishes the book let him send it to Grandma and Grandpa to share with them his new house. Let him help you decorate his own room. When my son was little my husbands parents lived out of town also, they would send him a little card or letter at least once a week. This gave him something to look forward to. You said your husband is away from home also, tell your son how much you need his help while daddy's gone. Let him help you do things around the house. I hope these suggestions will help.
I just recently went through a similar situation. The only difference is we didn't live with my mom. Since the day my dd was born she has not went more than 2-3 days without seeing my mom. Even if it were just for 30 minutes or so. But every weekend my mom would come and get her at least for a few hours, and then beg to keep her all night. Some times she did and some she did not. So when we moved we went through horrible seperation pains. Unfortunatly we moved almost 11 hours away. One thing my mom did was she put together pictures of her with my dd and her with my dd uncle and just random pictures of our close friends and family. Then she put then in this little frame that displays one at a time, or you can take it out and look through the pictures like a picture album. My mom decorated the frame and everything. I have to say this alone probably saved my sanity, my dd had just turned 2 when we moved, so she didn't really know what was going on, except that when we moved she wanted her meme. We also talked about her all the time, and called her everyday if not more. anytime she wants to talk to her meme we call. We also go back for very frequent trips and my mom comes here. So that has helped as well. I think the big thing will be include him in every decesion you can. When we moved we made a BIG deal about my dd having a big girl room and a big girl bed, and every night before bed we wouold look at the book and say our prayers.
Basically all I can say is hang in there, It will get better, and also reassure your parents that he will not forget them. It was as hard on my mom as my dd because of this.
I went through something very similar after my divorce. My daughter and I moved in with my parents and they pretty much became her "dad" (he is no longer in the picture). I remarried and we moved out of their home and my daughter (who just turned 4) was very upset and acting out all of the time. It's just the way kids express their emotions.
Luckily we live close to my parents so she can still see them at least weekly, although she tells me she wants to live with them whenever she gets in trouble.
The pictures are very helpful. My daughter has a scrapbook with everyone she has ever met it seems in it somewheer. Maybe you can set up a web cam between the two homes so your son can see and talk to them. I know it's not the same thing, but being able to see them may help. Just be patient with him. He's young and you get very attached to a routine at that age. It will get better with time.
Last edited by happymom28; 11-25-2006 at 09:27 AM.