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Old 10-25-2007, 01:44 PM   #1
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how do I punish my 6 year old for behaving bad a school

how do I punish my 6 year old for behaving bad a school. I usually take it 1 day at a time punish him but if he behaves the next day then allow him to watch tv or do whatever it was that was taken from him. The thing is there is no school tomorrow. So my question is should he be punish the whole weekend? I usually take the TV, toys, everything fun away. I only allow him to read books. Should I do that the whole weeken?

 
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Old 10-25-2007, 07:49 PM   #2
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Re: how do I punish my 6 year old for behaving bad a school

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess75 View Post
how do I punish my 6 year old for behaving bad a school. I usually take it 1 day at a time punish him but if he behaves the next day then allow him to watch tv or do whatever it was that was taken from him. The thing is there is no school tomorrow. So my question is should he be punish the whole weekend? I usually take the TV, toys, everything fun away. I only allow him to read books. Should I do that the whole weeken?
Personally I wouldn't take aboslutely everything away. Maybe his favorite thing, if it's TV or such. Set a time limit. With that age I would think 1 to 2 days would be sufficient.

Everyone disciplines differently. I would have to ask "how" he misbehaved and judge the punihsment on that. Also, with my children, one of the things they hate the most is going to bed early. So I tend to use that for punishment. It usually works for some of the kids.

 
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Old 10-26-2007, 11:08 AM   #3
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Re: how do I punish my 6 year old for behaving bad a school

I believe as parents we need to be more firm and sure of ourselves. If he feels the pain of this punishment (from having items he cares for taken away, or making him do extra works, etc.) then me may think ywice next time. If you bend your rules, he will learn that you are easy and take advantage of you. Just be firm with your decisions if my advice.

 
Old 11-03-2007, 06:17 PM   #4
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Re: how do I punish my 6 year old for behaving bad a school

Why is he misbehaving? What is bothering him? Is he maybe not happy there? Getting bullied?

I'd first find out what is bothering him.

I wouldn't "punish" in that sense at all, but rather use natural consequences. If he has hurt a child, he needs to apologise. If he messed up his jotters he needs to repair them.

Taking anything away doesn't actually make sense

Also remember that home and school are two different things. Home is supposed to be a safe haven for him and separate from school.

If you punish with everything you have you quickly run out of your "weapons".

If there are things you don't want your child to do, the reason for the child not to do it should be "because it's not right" and not "because mummy will take everything I like away". The first one is behaving good cause of insight, the second one fear.

Which one do you want?

 
Old 11-06-2007, 08:31 AM   #5
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Re: how do I punish my 6 year old for behaving bad a school

You can go with a bead or reward system. We tried it but it only took two weeks for my four year old to realize he could do one really bad thing and make up for it with a bunch of little good things .. so we went to the all or nothing policy. If he is bad. He loses all privelages until he earns them back and proves he can behave. School can not enforce good behavior. There hands are tied. A five minute timeout is insuffient in most cases to get the point across. You try that with my son and he will smile and wait and go back and do it again.. because five minutes is worth the act.

But in my opinion as a parent and teacher that doesn't mean that what happens at school stays at school. The teachers can not effectively discipline a child on their own. Their hands are tied to time outs limited to the minutes equal to a childs age. This is not sufficient to get the point across for hitting or kicking or bad language or disrespect. We have to support our teachers. You must show the child that you care what happens at school and how they behave in their own society early on or they are lost.

So we can not spank with a belt anymore with this upcoming generation... I do not, but i was spanked this way. I can count my spankings on my fingers and it only took one good spanking never to make me want to do it again. Most my son gets is an open palmed bottom warming when the offense warrants it and this doesn't phase him much anymore. He will taunt and say.. see mommy I can take your spankings. Well what is the response to that one? You can not spank them harder.. so these days he gets an evening alone in his room to think about his bad behavior while writing lines like think twice be nice and such. No toys... nothing. He hates being forced to stay away from mommy and daddy and sit in his room alone. His room is a sleeping area. He doesn't have toys to play with.. books and paper and a box of crayons. The next day he can interact with us as long as he has been good at school or is good at home. Normally he has lost one group of toys.. like cars or transformers or leapster and all TV and computer time. He must prove he can be a big boy and follow the rules before he gets anything else returned.

What can you do? Stay involved. Have the child and teacher keep a daily behavior journal. Work up a checklist where the teacher can check off good and bad behavior and you can address it fully with discussion at home. Try and keep consistent rules at home with those at school. Reinforce good behavior with some visible chart and lots of praise. Bad behavior.. make a list of the penalties so the child knows what to expect. My son literally sits and thinks about what he is going to do if it is a rule breaker to determine if it is worth the punishment. My payback for my own childhood. Sorry Mom and Dad. He just turned five and he weighs whether X is worth losing Y. Ugh! Keeping them in line is hard.

What are the exact acts that your child is doing? Have you been to school to observe the classroom dynamic? Can you talk with the teacher about what the routine is and what the children are working on? Maybe on the weekend you can hold mock school day. Make you child behave as you want them to behave and get them to show you what school is like. How is your child sleeping? Do they get 11-13 hours a day? Does your child snore or mouth breathe? Is your child on medication? There are many factors.. part can be the interaction of others, boredom, sleep deprivation.. etc. Each child is different and you have to keep adapting until you find what works for you.

We treat weekend as you lost it you have to earn it back through good behavior at home. Also if they continue to repeat a specific bad behavior. Make them give toys away to a charitable organization. Let them know you have to give this up. May be someone else that behaves well and appreciates this toy will enjoy it. My son really doesn't like the thought of permanent loss of a toy. We only had to do one good will trip for him to sit up and know we mean it when it is the parents job to give a child love, guidance, clothing, food, and shelter. Toys, TV, games, trips to the mall, etc.. these are priviledges. You have to be good to get the extras. Maybe this is a cold line to take. But it works for us and my son is a very loving, well mannered, and caring boy. Too smart for his own good and willing to get into mischief when the mood strikes, he is a boy after all. But over all he is a good boy and now it just takes reminding him how he should behave and how his actions effect others to get him to toe the line.

You are doing great keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
MG
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Last edited by mkgbrook; 11-06-2007 at 08:35 AM.

 
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Old 11-07-2007, 07:03 AM   #6
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Re: how do I punish my 6 year old for behaving bad a school

what is he doing to misbehave? is he bored? is someone bullying him? is his teacher an evil fun hating troll? is he getting enough sleep? could he have ADD? what is his diet like?

i am currently researching the effects certain food additives have on my two children and i'm working on eliminating certain ones from their diets (that's a whole other thread i'll start later...). it might be something to look into for your son as well.

my older brother was a holy terror in school, and unfortunately they'd never heard of ADD back then, so he went undiagnosed and did horribly in school. looking back, we all realized that not only did he have ADD, he was also borderline genius and he was bored to death in his classes. to make up for his being bored though, his teachers just gave him more "busy work" to do. they didn't challenge him more, they just piled on the worksheets instead!

i had a HORRIBLE teacher in the third grade, who just seemed to hate kids in general, but she especially hated me (i wasn't a bad kid, just undiagnosed ADD too, and i was bored a lot.... plus i had horrible allergies and felt like crap a lot too.... didn't make for a good combination!). so this teacher was mean to me, she singled me out a lot, humiliated me a lot.... she was just awful! and she was my teacher in third, fourth and fifth grade! i hated school because of her!

point being, find out what is causing your son to misbehave, and instead of focusing on punishing him for it, work on fixing the problem instead. it's been my experience that most children do NOT act out in school just for the sake of being bad. most children act out in school as a direct result of something that isn't right in their lives. I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING BAD HAPPENING AT HOME! just want to make that clear (but make sure that isn't the case too). what i mean by "something that isn't right," i mean all the things i listed in the first paragraph (bored, bullied, evil fun hating troll for a teacher, etc...).

as far as how to go about fixing the problem, i'd have to know what he was doing to misbehave and why first.... hope this helps....

 
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