Thanks for being supportive ... I have been to the doctor and am waiting for lab results. It's overdue!
Natasha, as you said, I do have to keep reminding myself that I have lots of options. I haven't tied myself down to anything. Horses are really important to me, but even if I can't work with them, as I was beginning to hope before my illness got worse, there must be some way I can still keep them in my life; right? Even if I can't ride anymore for a long time (which hopefully it won't come to that) there are plenty of lovely, sweet, unrideable horses waiting to be adopted by someone who will love them. I have known a number of them, in fact.
I have tried to communicate to some of my teachers what is going on, but it's difficult because I don't have anything tangible to give them...
If they even ask me what my symptoms are, I don't know where to start, because I have such a long list of them, and they all come and go in severity, so one day the headaches and nausea will be the worst, the next it's sore throat, fever, and swollen lymph nodes, the next day it's dizziness and black-outs. Argh, how'm I supposed to make sense of that?
Well, I could tell them I'm tired, or fatigued, since that's pretty consistent -- but what high school student isn't tired? The word doesn't really communicate the fact, does it?
I am feeling more positive today than I was yesterday, though. So that's something.