I've been diagnosed with fibro, have possible lupus, seasonal affective disorder and chronic,clinical depression. These all cause fatigue as well as my medications. i DO deal with chronic fatigue, it may not be CFS, but its darn near close to it, i sleep so much i miss days and days worth of memorys, medications, fun, eating, everything. I'm so tired of being tired. Just the other day I went to bed at 8pm, woke up at 6 am, fed the cats and went to bed at 7 pm, woke up at 8 pm, went to bed at 7:30 pm, woke up at 2pm ....get the picture.... It goes on and on, its so bad i ask people where i am anymore, my own fiance cant even remember where i was yesterday, i dont even think we seen eachother for a week cuz of my sleeping!!!!
I miss spending time AWAKE, i miss LIVING, geeze i use to wish i was dead but now i want to be alive and its tearing me apart. I just want to sit here and cry. My life is being ruined by everything thats happening and i just cant get up and DO anything because i want to sleep, i have a NEED for sleep, its all i want to do, im ADDICTED TO SLEEPING. I just want to curl up in bed and close my eyes and enter a world where everything isnt real and *I* can change it if i thought hard enough and i was the special one, and i could fly and had special powers and achieve what i cant achieve now, and get married and have a wonderful life, even be a superhero fighting villans and saving the city.
My body just wants to sleep, my brain wants to shut down, and i normally just let it do what it wants...except today........because i was hungry for once.....
WHEN WILL IT END!?????????????????????????
I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last edited by KittenPaws; 12-03-2005 at 10:51 AM.
I know how you feel. Sometimes I look at where I am and how I feel with all the pain, depression, loss of mobility, But in my case I have to take meds just to be able to sleep at all---while wearing a CPAP. I have progressed very far along in the area of letting tomorrows "stuff" just happen cause they are and nothing that is going to stop them. So might as well roll with it and see what unexamined part of yourselfshines out. Sound like the way of the "Force" doesn't it, lol........
In all honesty what the harm in sleeping alot? If you are in a flare, then that overwhelming urge to sleep will pass. In the mean time I have a suggestion. Get a box of 64 crayons and a large drawing tablet, With different colors write down one thing you believe should be done. Now draw whatever you wish--just decorate that page. Then think up another job to do. Write it down and start to color. On and On until you feel better--not so stressed. At random put one on the fridge. Let it inspire all day and night long!! You could give yourself a special reward (ice cream, handful of nuts, suckers, extra long bath etc.) Even if it took all day just to get ONE thing down--so what? You won't be sent to the pricipals office!! just thank the Lord for the blessed day he gave you. Try this every day with different fridge pictures. And please remember this--your friends, relatives, they all want you to be happy even though they don't understand the life we are forced to live in with our "secret diseases".
I believe that God will not let anything come to us that we are not able to complete, so I have to believe that He is walking with me and coaching me along.
So basically write affirmations? about myself and colour? if i got this correct that sounds like fun. I been doing christmas cards i bought at the store and colouring pictures onto them to jazz them up a bit. I like this idea it brought a smile to my face, thanks a lot!!! its wonderful
I'm sorry that you feel this way. I'm only sixteen and have been like that for 3 years now but the tiredness just keep on getting worse my iron is 21 and just last month it was 41 on 2 iron and a vitamin and now im on 3 iron and a vitamin and i dont feel any better. but the ting is my blood work is always fine except my iron!!! and the doctors dont seem concerned, and it makes me mad because i sleep like 2 hrs everyday and am still tired and this is just not normal at 16 or for any age.
I feel for all of you, including Stacie, considering I am only 17 and am battling with somewhat the same- I sometimes will sleep 20 + hours a day. I once went to take a nap at 6pm and was awoken by my dad the next day at about 2! Talk about losing your life, and where does it go? To dream land! ha! Anyway, I am sorry to all who endure anything similar, the only thing that has made me feel better when I get depressed from this is to paint and let my emotions and fatigue go right onto the canvas!
Hope your Christmas's (or Hannukah's, Kwanza's, etc..) were well!!
thanks kelley I really appreciate your sympathy. how low is your iron( hope u dont mind me asking) thats pretty bad that you sleep 20 hours a day. there are times i feel like sleeping that long and I think sometimes i would but half the time i will set my alarm after 2- 2.5 hrs. because i need to do school work and other things.I have gotten so tried in the past year i had to give up v-ball and now im giving up 4-h because i work with horses and i just cant keep up any more. i just dont have the energy anymore like i use too. when i was younger i was always running and playing, i played basketball and everything! sorry to ramble but i would do anything to feel young again.lol It is really embarrassing to be tired all the time because when i go to family outtings all i want to sleep and i feel bad even if i am sick. and then my friends r constantly like why do u sleep so much. the thing with me is i do have crohn's and a lung problems be the doctors dont think this is causing my problem. sorry i am rambling. its just feels good to have people you can talk to about these things besides your family.