I am so sorry that you are having such a terrible time. I can really empathise. I also got sick just 6 months into a new marriage, at age 35, and have really battled with guilt. We too wanted to have a family. I have been sick for 5 years and I am probably the worst I have been - bed-ridden, depressed, in constant pain, and as an added bonus have put on 60 pounds in the last year. My husband and I are still holding out hope that I can find a way to heal and we can have a child, but time is running out. That said, I agree with a lot of the postings here...I think it is really important to talk to your sweetie, and believe what he/she says.
One other thing I would strongly add, as others have here...I was given a diagnosis of fibromyalgia and pretty much left it at that with that for 5 years. Only after a lot of reading did I realize that I should have had extensive tests before being given that diagnosis...I wasn't. It was more like - oh, you're in pain and I don't know why, so take pain meds for the rest of your life and exercise.
Over the years I kept getting worse, and steadily faster. Last year I decided I really needed a new dr and tests, so I went to the university hospital nearest me. The difference in quality of dr's was amazing. I found a wonderful endocrinologist and rheumatologist who have helped figure out what is really going on with me - epstein barr, west nile, chronic fatigue, addison's disease, a spinal disease that I can't spell, and hashimoto's hypothyroidism. The upshot is I have discovered how important it is to have a full regimine of tests, and a really good team of dr's. Of course I am lucky that my husband has really good insurance...my heart goes out to others here who don't have that luxury.
Another example is a friend of mine - dx'd with CFS for last 5 years. Turns out she has Meniere's disease - an ear disease with symptoms that mimic CFS. So while I firmly believe CFS and fibro are real diseases, I think that it's important that they are only given after other things have been ruled out. Of course, you can have CFS and FMS in addition to other diseases...ain't that grand...
Some tests that I would really recommend - full hormone work-up, DHEA level testing, adrenal function testing, hashimoto's anti-body test, x-ray's and MRI's of any areas that hurt, lyme disease test, full rheumotologic work-up, endocrine work-up. And with these tests, I would ask for the most sensitive versions - some things don't show up on the more generalized tests, but will show up on specialized tests.
Blue, I don't know if any of this helps. I am so sorry for your suffering. You will be in my thoughts. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through is hanging onto the hope that things can change, and that they may change for the better, and I would hate to miss out on that life. But when you are suffering I know it can be hard to hold onto that hope.
I really hope things get better for you...