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Old 06-19-2007, 08:36 AM   #1
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how can i help- partner with m.e

hi, my partner is an m.e sufferer of 6 years. he says hes all but recovered from it (he says if ten is perfectly healthy hes about an 8) but i think he might be having a bit of a relapse. he manages his symptoms really well but i'm concerned because hes having a lot of stress at the moment and hes been pushing himself a bit. he appears tired and run down and hes getting colds, cold sores and his excema is flaring up. He works full time and has family commitments and the time that hes not doing what he should do he feels exhausted and wants to sleep. ive spoken to him about it and he agrees that he should take some time out, but my question is, is there anything that i can do to help him? i've tried to learn a lot about the illness but i'm not sure how to actively help him. Does anybody have any suggestions or are there any ways that your partner has helped you? thanks

 
Old 06-26-2007, 08:36 AM   #2
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Re: how can i help- partner with m.e

Hi ...don't now if this will help you. And sounds like your trying to learn about his problem...That is one of the best ways you can help...is knowledge about his condition.

Also try not to question him why some days he is better than others...cause he just won't have that answer...some days are good some are worse...When he needs to rest don't make him feel quilty for it...When he has to back out of commentments don't make him feel quilty for it...

Ask "him" how you can help to make things easier.

Remember knowledge is power....there truly is no simple answer to this...

But if you have questions please feel free to post them here...

Good Luck to you and him....


 
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Old 06-26-2007, 01:19 PM   #3
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Re: how can i help- partner with m.e

Hi,

I think it's fantastic that you're trying to help him, and just by researching the illness- you are half way there. I think any way you can try and take things off his shoulders, so he doesn't have to do everything, but trying not to let him feel guilty or useless (which I know is hard)!

My partner has been brilliant- just being thoughtful and showing he cares. Practical things which might help if he drives is perhaps getting an automatic car, if he has a manual (this is something I am considering)- although he probably knows all this- I've only recently had a diagnosis- but sometimes it helps to re-read old stuff- or be reminded.

There is a fantastic self help booklet I've read about 'Pacing youself', on one of these Action for M.E sites- I'm finding that helpful to read. It talks about working at your base line and gradually increasing what you do by only 10%. It sounds like your partner may need to go back to doing that for a while.

I hope this has been some help- as I say I'm new to this- so am just trying to find out myself.

Good Luck- Your partner is really lucky to have you!!!

 
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