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Old 09-20-2007, 09:53 AM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Michigan
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Michelle71smile HB User
I'm new here, Thank God there ARE people in the world who understand

I'm 36, been divorced for 5 years, am a single mother of an 8yo son and a 14yo daughter. I have been living on disability for 4 years now. I have fibromyalgia, osteo-artherits, and am bipolar. I am on vicodin, 100mcg fentenol patches, ultram for pain, inderal for swelling, ritalin for fatigue, zyprexa, and zoloft for bipolar. I get so tired of all the meds. they just gave me the ritalin after trying for 2 years to get the insurance co. to pay for provigal and they never would. Of course being a single parent with all these problems is sooo hard on my kids. I wonder a lot of times if they would be better off somewhere else. But I know no-one will ever love them the way I do. I have so much guilt about being a parent. I know my kids deserve better. My dream is take them out of school and travel with them for a year, volunteering all around the world. but I could never afford that. But I think about it everyday. My family tells me Im crazy for even considering it. I hate it when people tell me I'm crazy because I dont think I am at all. I just have big ideas sometimes. (out of the box, the norm) So what. I also am tired of people telling me to just get up and do it. I am sooo tired all the time. Is there any hope? I am grateful I found this site and have found people who truely understand.

Michelle

 
Old 09-20-2007, 05:05 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Caribou,Maine,U.S.A.
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Bekah61 HB User
Re: I'm new here, Thank God there ARE people in the world who understand

Don't ever give up on your dreams cause thats what keeps us going everyday, and your not crazy to think that way, so never mine what other people are saying and keep on dreaming it might be a reality some day. I'm a single parent too and have similar disabilities like u I know its hard sometimes hell, probally everyday listen to your dreams and love those children of yours they need u and don't ever say they would be better off with someone else, I know these feelings quite well just keep the faith God has a plan for u hopefully we'll find out why we go thru the things we do. God Bless, Bekah61

 
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Old 09-21-2007, 12:44 PM   #3
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Victorville, Ca USA
Posts: 356
MOMOFBOYZ HB User
Re: I'm new here, Thank God there ARE people in the world who understand

Michelle,
I read your post and had to say hi. I am not a single mom. I am a stay at home mom. With the help of my husband I barely get by. I am sick all of the time. Always fluelike and dizzy among pain and a million other things.
I do know that this illness does steal a part of you. It does. It has stolen some things right out in front of me. When I am disappointed in myself b/c I am too sick to go somewhere I feel like my kids really got jipped.
But I always more so tell myself that I still love them. I don't have cancer (so far) out of two cancer scares. I may not be the old me. But I do as much as I can. And they need us so much. Maybe one day they'll respect us so much for being sick and still doing an awesome job!
Sorry for the long reply. Your post reminded me oh how I feel on really bad days. Mine was just last week. When I let this disease sink me into the pit. It is ugly there I know.
Just keep smiling! Even through the pain. And remember there will be good days. Just not enough!!!!

God bless,
Deena

 
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