joebloggs2

This is going to be a long post because I have suffered from chronic fatigue for 10 years and really want an answer, so I will provide as many details as I can. My quality of life is so low due to fatigue that I am very suicidal and desperate. No doctors can help me and nobody online seems to have a clue as to what is going on.

Here's a side note: It's amazing that people blame drugs as causing addiction when the underlying symptom is usually something else, and the drug addict is merely self-medicating. I work at a drug rehabilitation clinic helping addicts quit, and the reason most people get addicted is because their underlying conditions are never treated, sometimes never diagnosed, so the patient feels the need to resort to medicating himself.

For example, my fatigue is ruining my life and I have currently justified that I would rather use Ritalin or methamphetamine daily than to succumb to feeling like garbage every single day of my life. My doctors refuse to prescribe me even something as benign as Modafinil.

I am 22 years old. I always feel tired and run-down. I sleep 8 hours a day, and wake up feeling like ****. I generally don't wake up in the middle of the night and I don't wake up gasping for air, but I have not been tested for sleep apnea and I do not snore.

I get tired as the day progresses, but during my entire day, I have a strong urge to sleep. At a red light, while the professor is talking, when I'm eating, when I'm walking, I always have a desire to just take a deep breath and keep my eyes closed and drift into sleep. I only stay awake by chemical means (stimulants and sugars) or by doing things like chanting or holotropic breathwork (usually when I'm falling asleep on the wheel) - where I basically cup my hands over my mouth and force myself to hyperventilate for a strong head rush.

I have gone through a spectrum of diets, none of which seem to provide any lasting relief. high fat, low fat, vegan, raw vegan, etc.. nowadays I simply avoid soda, anything containing "chemicals" and try to eat as much unprocessed food as possible.

I feel sleep deprived. If anyone has been sleep deprived or very tired, they know that they are unable to process information and are irritable. Imagine feeling sleep deprived for years on end. I carry around a mental fog and I am always hazy. I am basically a zombie. I look like one, I talk like one, I move like one. I can write just fine, but I can't speak properly because I have no energy and I come off sounding like the dude in Napolean Dynamite, but way harsher because being sleep deprived for so long makes you VERY irritable! I hate everyone and the slightest nuisance ticks me off.

I have absolutely no enthusiasm for life. Good things happen, bad things happen, but my mental fog is so strong that I feel insulated from life.

I spend many days sitting at home crying over this problem, because I feel that the medical community has let me down. I hate visiting doctors because their clinics are basically assembly lines. 10 small rooms, I sit and wait, doctor comes in, gives me his vague opinion and then tells me to schedule an appointment for next week or refers me to one of his ******** friends who repeat the same thing.

Here's a major problem I have: I have been suffering from this for so long that I have developed work-arounds for every symptom. I don't LOOK ill. In fact I'm quite handsome and charming and nobody would suspect anything wrong with me. Not even doctors, who say that I just need "rehab."

Blood tests say I have a Thalassemias trait (only the trait, not illness), but iron/B12 levels and everything is OK or better - nothing is physically wrong with me. I don't have sleep apnea, and doctors only point out that it's probably a psychological disorder.

I don't know what to do. Anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds don't help much, and doctors refuse to prescribe any stimulant because they're afraid of getting in trouble since my problem isn't ADD (although being tired all the time doesn't help me concentrate). Maybe I look healthy so they assume I'm faking? Please help!