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Chronic Fatigue Message Board
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Old 06-13-2008, 01:40 AM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Erie PA
Posts: 12
shalyn1677 HB User
Angry I Can't Take This Anymore

I really do not know how much longer I can take this. I have been seriously incapacited since October of 2007 with this illness. I was bedridden at that time for 6 weeks. Since then, I have slowly rehabilitated and returned to work in January of 2008, though, I can see that coming to an end soon.

I CAN'T WORK AN 8-HOUR SHIFT.
I CAN'T MEET MY QUOTAS.
I CAN'T CLEAN MY HOUSE.
I CAN'T PLAY WITH MY KIDS.
I CAN'T GO TO SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS.
I CAN'T MAKE IT TO CHURCH.
I CAN'T SCHEDULE ANYTHING BECAUSE I NEVER KNOW IF I WILL BE TO TIRED TO MAKE IT.


I feel like my life has been ruined ......I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!! The harder I try, the more tired I get!!

Every second of every day I feel like I could just crash and sleep for a year and I can't stand it - and nobody can do anything about it because IT IS A CHRONIC ILLNESS!! OMG!!

I'm so sorry for venting, but, nobody I know understands.

 
Old 06-13-2008, 06:32 AM   #2
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Location: West Chester, Ohio, USA
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lojo222 HB User
Smile Re: I Can't Take This Anymore

I could have written your post. I feel exactly the same way. I was bedridden for almost a year after coming down with mono. It's been 18th months and I still cannot work, cannot clean my house or attend social functions. I have made serveral attempts to be "normal" but can't seem to pull it off. I end up sick and miserable. Last week I had a good day and went grocery shopping. I was so happy I could have cried. I piled my cart so high people were laughing at me. By the time I got it all to the van. I was shaking and by the time I got it home. I couldn't carry it in to put it away. So, my triumph was short lived.
I go through days like you where I suddenly panic and say I just can't deal with it another minute. I want my life back. I want to be normal again. I don't want to wake up every morning dreading the day because of how I am going to feel and who I am going to dissapoint. I have felt like my life is over and will never be the same.
Just try to focus on positives. Think of what we do have and not what we are missing. I tell myself that everyday. I am missing my life, but at least I still have it and there is a chance that all of this will go away someday. Hang in there! You are not alone. There are so many people on these boards who know exactly how you feel. It's okay to lose it sometimes. I do it all the time. It will get better. It just takes time.

 
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Old 06-14-2008, 11:16 PM   #3
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David 12321 HB User
Re: I Can't Take This Anymore

i'm one of those people who knows exactly how you feel. i got my first symptoms in 1979 when i was 17 years old. as time goes by it gets easier to deal with the chronic illness part. the anger, frustration, etc does not go away but it's much easier to identify it and let it go so a person can enjoy what they have and what they are able to do.

 
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