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Old 09-14-2008, 07:41 AM   #16
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Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

Sofia,

Thanks for your kind words. I guess you are right - this is a lot to wrap your mind around - what's left of it The doctor diagnosed me because she took blood work for the Epstein Barr virus. The first two numbers in the series of 4 are back to normal, but the second two are still in the 500's whatever that means. She said we need to get those numbers down, although the markers will always be in my blood. Anyway, I have definitely felt even worse since I found this out, although for 9 months I have felt bad and have felt this bad before, thinking all the time it was my thyroid and the adjusting of medication. Partially it probably was, plus adrenal stress from the situation and this virus. So, who knows. You are right - I need to get out of bed and lie around somewhere else - being in bed does make you feel like you are ill if you do it too much. Were you diagnosed with Epstein Barr? Trying to keep your mind "up" is the tough part - and waiting to try the next treatment......it helps to talk to someone like you who knows.

Will keep in touch,
Liz

 
Old 09-15-2008, 11:39 AM   #17
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Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

I have only been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and Chronic Fatigue.
Im not really sure though, sometimes they dont tell you..

Im glad that i finally can talk to someone else feeling slightly if not very simular to me, and pass on a few tips (: Plus i kinda feel better even just sitting here and typing and hearing responses. Which are all lovely. I know as much as i have been through, and a few other people.

I really do hope we keep in touch, and that things start looking up for you (:
all of you (:

x
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Old 09-15-2008, 12:36 PM   #18
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Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

well i went to the DR the other day and asked to be tested for EBV and my doctor almost laughed in my face and told me i didnt need it, even though i told her that i had in fact had mono whne i wa about 15....i suppose i need a second oppinion, i have had to basically go with whatever DR was willing to treat me for the past couple of years becuase i havent been able to work and had no insurance, i just found out last friday that i am approved for SSDI (only took 18 months!!!) so i can finally get medicaid and seek out a better doctor, so i dont have anymore news yet, still feel the same crappy way, and am still just as anxious about it all. but i wanted to say thank you to all of you that responded to me, made me feel a little less lonley and i know the more information we can all share and have axcess to the quicker maybe it can all get better!
Love you all!
Tink

 
Old 09-15-2008, 12:52 PM   #19
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Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

For Makzin68:
I cant actually imagen not knowing for 21 years, i cant actually imagen it, and i complain about a year..

Like you i found it really hard to try and take it that i was actually ill, it wasnt made up, it wasnt a lie. And i really cant do things that people my age can, and now i accept it.. just :P

Also like you I have cut out everything bad from my life, unsympathetic people, competative people, bad influences.. people i dont need, and along with just positive things in my life, this too is my number one rule.
Im happy with my friends right now, and i also feel that for now, and a while after i wouldnt be able to have a boyfriend, and im happy with that, i would feel guilty being ill all the time.

I agree with everything your saying, and im really glad that although you may be ill still you seem to know what you want (: and i hope that everything starts going a lot better for you.

The amount of times i have stopped writing this, because im to dizzy, or my brain hurts, i actually cant count.. so it was nice reading your advice.. even if it was for Liz (:

xx
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Old 09-15-2008, 12:54 PM   #20
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Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

Tinkerbell:
I hope that you do get a second opinion, they are always useful your Dr that 'pretty much laughed in your face' well if i was you i would get a new one... I hope it all works out for you
xx
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Old 09-16-2008, 01:55 PM   #21
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Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofia123 View Post
For Makzin68:
I cant actually imagen not knowing for 21 years, i cant actually imagen it, and i complain about a year..
You complain as much as you want, it's your pain and frustration, no matter what others have been through. Plus, at least half the 21 years was my own damn fault. See I didn't want to believe I was ill. So what would happen is I would cope with life until it got too much, have a mini-breakdown, go and shout at the doctors and have inconclusive tests, get better on my own (by resting)then go through the whole cycle again. It's only really in the last five-six years when I decided that I wasn't going to put up with this nonsense of non-diagnosis anymore. Also, I've been damn lucky. Though I have some really bad, brain foggy days and my eyes are going worringly-blurry, my physical CFS is nowhere near as bad as some of the poor souls on here (possibly you as well ) Again, it's only really in the last five to six years that I've been really unable to run for a bus. And living in London, traffic moves so slow that it's not that much of a problem Funny thing is, this is probably the best time to get diagnosised with CFS. If I had got 'nosed in '87I'm not sure it would have helped me that much, considering the quack treatments that were around then. Things are changing so rapidly, I believe there will be some real advances in treatment in the next one-two years.

Quote:
Like you i found it really hard to try and take it that i was actually ill, it wasnt made up, it wasnt a lie. And i really cant do things that people my age can, and now i accept it.. just :P
My sympathies. And like me, you were quite sporty as well? That must hurt. But I'll tell you one thing this CFS gives you that many of your age won't have, and that's increased compassion. And there really isn't enough of that in the world.

Quote:
Also like you I have cut out everything bad from my life, unsympathetic people, competative people, bad influences.. people i dont need, and along with just positive things in my life, this too is my number one rule.
Im happy with my friends right now, and i also feel that for now, and a while after i wouldnt be able to have a boyfriend, and im happy with that, i would feel guilty being ill all the time.
My mainstream consultant wanted me to join a CFS group once I got diagnosed. I haven't gone, because I've spent so long dealing with this and ditching deadwood friends that my support group is fine for me now. But fi Iwas your age or the age I was when i first had CFS symptoms, I think I would have jumped at the chance. I think they even have age-ranged support groups now? I don't know if this is an option for you? I know you say you are happy with your friends, but imagine, a group where no-one judges you and everyone knows how you feel? Maybe you might even find someone (ahem) who really wants to know how you feel Wow, i think i might go after all...

Quote:
Iagree with everything your saying, and im really glad that although you may be ill still you seem to know what you want (: and i hope that everything starts going a lot better for you.
If you agree with everything I'm saying, then you're more brain fogged than you think! But the truth is, even if I don't get what I want, just having a goal is helping me focus on the future and cos of the concentration issues, it's hard to do that at the best of times.

Quote:
The amount of times i have stopped writing this, because im to dizzy, or my brain hurts, i actually cant count.. so it was nice reading your advice.. even if it was for Liz (:
xx
Poor you. I hope it was a worse than usual day rather than a normal one (if you see hwat I mean)? When I can afford to go back to my private doctors, the main thing I want to know is why I feel so memory-lousy one day and better the next, even though my activities on the two days are the same? Ah well....

And my advice was for everyone, by the way. I'm so glad it meant something to you

 
Old 09-17-2008, 09:45 AM   #22
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Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

I really hate complaining though, i always (worryingly) feel guilty. I guess i have a lot of emotional stuff to get through as well...

I was the kind of person that went running, was really toned, played every team game there was, loved riding, long walks, genrally a sports lover. Now i genrally feel depressed thinking about it, and have hiden the medals and certificates i have ( not many ) and used to refuse to do it, but now im trying so i think thats a plus. I used to push myself to the extreme, now i dont think i could do that, i get scared when I feel that ill. Also, anooying for some people, i used to be top sets of everything, and didnt really have to try, now im grasping at just being there, i have realised i dont need to be the top, and im happy just getting better. i dont have to always be the best at things, maybe thats bad thinking, but getting betters key, at least thats what i think (:.

Advising someone to do something genrally gets you re-thinking, i dont actually think they have something for my age group, apart from swimming, and to be quite honest i dont feel that comfortable meeting people in that sort of way... as a recovered anorexic, that could possibly be a bad desicion.

I used to have the highest goals, and maybe your brain-fogged if you dont think that what your sayings good
Im looking forward to, being a model (when im well enough), doing more fashion design, and getting a new sewing machine (i dropped mine )
I like concentrating on those things, it makes me feel more positive..


Oh and by the way, thats a normal day for me.. its rubbish, but im kind of coping with it, although now i am having to get contact lenses coz its ruined a part of my eye (or so im told..) Im not quite sure.

Thanks for your advice, its kind of nice having a forum like this and talking to people that feel pretty much the same, although i feel really, really sorry for everyone.
xx
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Old 09-19-2008, 04:46 PM   #23
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Makzim68 HB User
Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofia123 View Post
Advising someone to do something genrally gets you re-thinking, i dont actually think they have something for my age group, apart from swimming, and to be quite honest i dont feel that comfortable meeting people in that sort of way... as a recovered anorexic, that could possibly be a bad desicion.
Sofia, i understand if you don't want to go over old wounds by replying, but I read your post (and especially the bit above) about three times and i still don't get why it would be a bad decision. Sorry to ask, and Im nott rying to get you to go to the group or anything, I'm just geuininely curious?

pS re: the brain fog - Hope you had a better day today.

 
Old 09-20-2008, 10:48 AM   #24
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Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

I dont mind talking about it, if anything i think its kinda helpful, especially as i have been ill for quite along time, you realise that you have to talk to people and not keep it to your self. So you can ask anything.

Basically, last year, i started feeling really 'fat' and horrible, im actually quite tall and 'naturally thin' (genetics are pretty in my favour..) but as i started to get the C.F.S symptoms, i just basically lost control, and im not a horrible, mean and nasty control freak, but i like things done my way, and i guess without control, i took it out on myself and decided that taking something such as my weight (easy to control) into the equasion it would be okay. For about half a year i would only eat 3 things a day, and they wernt meals.., i was incredibly underweight (as i used to be really healthy and sporty) and i think it made my C.F.S worse, so i got more underweight, i didnt ever tell anyone, and i think about 4 people in my life know about it, and thats from telling them recently. (im good at hiding things) but one day, i just basically was buying a dress (for a dinner thingy) and i had to get a size 0 one, and then that was too big for me so i had to take it in loads and that got me thinking and i pretty much recovered myself.

Im still weird about my weight and im still a bit under whats normal.

Thats why im weird about meeting new people.. in that sort of way. If you dont understand anything feel free to ask.

about the brain fog, its pretty bad today, it was better yesterday though (:

(oh and thank you for you for being really kind etc.)
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Old 09-22-2008, 11:17 AM   #25
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Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

Sorry sofia. I guess it must be the effect of CFS on my logic and reseaning. I get most of what you're saying above and am glad you are recovering but still don't get why you don't want to meet new people??

I asked because I very very briefly dated a woman who was bulimic. Her ex (who she ended up going back to) used to put her down about her weight even though she was fine. But your case is different. And to be honest I'm glad (if you see what i mean ) I can sympathise with needing to control something when everything else is out of control and the brain fog means you can't even control your own actions. A mainstream consultant told me (even before the diagnoses) to look at just managing my day as a victory. Very difficult mindset to get into (and easy for someone without CFS to say) but it has helped me from time to time. Hard though ebecause it means accepting lowered ambitions and I think like your fashion design plans, it's always good to have high ambitions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofia123 View Post
(oh and thank you for you for being really kind etc.)
I haven't always been kind. And am trying to make up for lost time

Last edited by HBMod07; 09-24-2008 at 06:06 AM. Reason: Do not use inappropriate language on the forums

 
Old 09-22-2008, 11:36 AM   #26
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Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

I've just read your post again Sofia and finally realised of course why you don't want to meet new people. Sorry. Am such a tool sometimes At least we know why!

 
Old 09-23-2008, 08:58 AM   #27
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Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

Its fine, dont worry about it. Im glad that i just can tell you, well write it out, and not feel all panicy about it. Thats a nice feeling, the relife i guess.
Its not as such i dont want to meet new people, its just the way i would meet them. It sounds silly. Im SO shy, and insecure i guess. I like new people, but i never feel at ease. Especially with girls, (the bitchyness and genral weirdness freaks me out. Even though im female.. :P)

Im not glad or proud or even like thinking about being annorexic, but i do understand, because no one was making me feel like that it was easyer for me to get back on track.

The brain fog is one of the worst bits about C.F.S, i could cope with the muscle pains and the headaches, but its like i have lost 'proper' use of my body and actions, and i take my ability to mentally do something highly, so this confusion and genral decrease in intelligence hasnt really made me feel any happier.

I sound whingy, im sorry. Yeah my M.E (C.F.S) speciallist told me about coping with one day at a time treating it as a win, its hard work though, i think along with that you need the ambition, and to want something for it to work, Last year i couldnt cope at all so it was all loses, and to be honest that made me feel worse. I think its what ever keeps you going, its hard to find that though.

Thank you. you are kind, and even if you havent been, or what ever in the past, that doesnt matter i suppose. Its all about the future. C.F.S does make you feel more compassionate towards others though doesnt it ? (:

xx
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Old 09-26-2008, 07:45 AM   #28
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Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofia123 View Post
Its fine, dont worry about it. Im glad that i just can tell you, well write it out, and not feel all panicy about it. Thats a nice feeling, the relife i guess.
Its not as such i dont want to meet new people, its just the way i would meet them. It sounds silly. Im SO shy, and insecure i guess. I like new people, but i never feel at ease. Especially with girls, (the bitchyness and genral weirdness freaks me out. Even though im female.. :P)
I don't know if you were always shy? Im sure the illness hasnt helped. I can't say ive ever been shy as such, but I wasn't.... errrmmm... socially "sound", especially around women. I started getting this nonsense when i was in my late teens and it knocked me back for a good few years. I cant remember how old you are but I think early twenties? Just the time when healthy people start coming out of their shells and now youve got illness knocking you back.

Do you know any older women/people? I don't mean grannies , just married women, mid-thirties women, especially those who are settled in their lives/confident enough not to be scared their husbands will run off with you etc and hopefully won't be so competitive, bitchy

Also, I haven't really checked, but there must be other CFS forums, mabye even chatrooms where people can get on/meet each other? If the internet had been aroun when my cfs first started I think Id have been married about five times now

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofia123 View Post
Im not glad or proud or even like thinking about being annorexic, but i do understand, because no one was making me feel like that it was easyer for me to get back on track.

The brain fog is one of the worst bits about C.F.S, i could cope with the muscle pains and the headaches, but its like i have lost 'proper' use of my body and actions, and i take my ability to mentally do something highly, so this confusion and genral decrease in intelligence hasnt really made me feel any happier.
maybe you're not glad or proud about it, but I would be. You pulled it back totally by yourself (or are pulling it back) without therapy or advice so well down you.

I feel exactly like that about the physical versus the mental. The aches and pains are nothing compared to the numbing disability of not being able to think properly. Also, I have read a theory that one of the (slightly) comon things about Cfs sufferrerrs is high academic intelligence. I don't know how true all that is but i do know i have always been (pre-fog) a good learner and book smart, but not that street-smart. Now reading and learning and rembering what ive read and learned is difficult and im still not street-smart. So I end up feeling like a dumbass ninety per-cent of the time. And today is another good day for me

One ray of sunshine though: I know everyone is different but even with the fog, I can definitely say that i know more now than when this all first started and what ive lost in raw intelligence ive made up for in experience. Hopefully your fog will stay the same/get better/ only gradually get worse and you will have enough time to balance all the loss in intelligence with increase in experience. It sounds like you already understand yourself very well and that's a great starting point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofia123 View Post
I sound whingy, im sorry. Yeah my M.E (C.F.S) speciallist told me about coping with one day at a time treating it as a win, its hard work though, i think along with that you need the ambition, and to want something for it to work, Last year i couldnt cope at all so it was all loses, and to be honest that made me feel worse. I think its what ever keeps you going, its hard to find that though.
If theres one thing you should never feel guilty of on this board, its moaning about the chronic. If you can't whinge here (not that you were) where can you?

My consultant said that i should have realistic goals and most of them are but if Im honest my main goal is not realistic. But it helps because its something for me to hang my hat on and its only unrealistic because of the hurdles I have to jump, not because of the energy i have to devote to it. I can (just about) still do it at my pace.

I think energy levels, fogginess and passion are the key. Find what you're passionate about (otherwise you will give up easily) what your general energy/stress levels can cope with and something you feel you can do even on a foggy day (thats the real hard bit).

Having to restrict and limit yourself this way is annoying as anything, but iamgine how limited the opportunities were b4 the net? Just ten years ago, there was nothing like ebay or amazon where you could sell stuff/set up a shop and not suffer the stress of having to run it in business hours/travel to work/see people face to face. I imagine the fashion design you have/had as a goal is quite difficult for you now, but I don't know if there is some kind of internet way around it at all?

All I know is, thanks to the net, if I had to choose I would much rather have been diagnosed with cfs now than ten years ago. Even now, im working out my budget for the coming credit crunch, to make sure I have enough money per month for the internet connection!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofia123 View Post
Thank you. you are kind
You stop that. you stop that now!

And just to show you how selfish and unkind i really am, i won't be posting on here for a while. i have some medical and family stuff to get done this month/next month so im having me time. See? See how uncaring i am? im not even goingto tell you to take care or so that I wish you all the best or say that i hope youll still be around when i post back in a month or so. im not saying any of that!

 
Old 09-27-2008, 01:09 PM   #29
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Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

I have pretty much been half shy my whole life (im not early twentys a little bit younger than that (: ) I guess i have been very knocked back in being myself.. but im getting used to it and im trying to sort through that. Although im female and straight (not that it matters) i always find it alot harder to talk to women.

I do know older women and they are lovely, they do think that their husbands will leave them for me, but thats silly. I have told them about how i feel and they are so sweet. They do really help, plus i love my mum, but shes so hard to tell things too. bless her

aha, why couldnt you meet people and get married now? or are you? i think me getting married now would be weird, but its surprising how amazing you feel if someone likes you or your in a relationship. almost normal who would want to be that though


Thank you, i couldnt open up to people and one day i looked at myself trying to get jeans that fitted, (size zero was too big, what a joke) and i just saw a depressed, incredibly skinny, almost ugly skinny, with panda eyes, looking back without emotion, and thats how i changed, thats why, my hips sticking out hasnt ever bothered me, the fact i broke my wrist because i was so thin, didnt actually bother me, i think it was just the fact i looked so horrible, and i really dont care about how i look.


Im not 'street' smart, infact the opposite, i get along with popular people, but i dont know why, im so uncool it hurts, im also (i have been told) incredibly clever... maybe that is an idea, people are pushing you to be better to be a genius, and you get so tired that you shut down? im not sure.. but basically im uncool too, dont worry im also rather tall for a woman, (5"10 (woohoo)) :P I hate it really.

I try to understand myself but i guess thats hard, no one does

I want realistic goals, everyones telling me to be a model and try and weave fashion design into that, i honestly am so riddled with self loathing(almost) that i dont think im pretty or attractive at all.

its good though that you have goals that are in reach and im really glad that you (seem) to be better than you were?

Foggy days are the worst, i love my brain and i enjoy being clever, i couldnt care what people looked at me like, really. but not being clever is the worst

My brother (is amazing with internets and webpages) and said that he would make an online portfolio of fashion things for me, i NEED a dress makers dummy though (christmas sometime in the near future.. yess)

Luckly i dont pay for my internet which is lucky really, dont you get 'disability' benifts?


your lovely, dont act so childish :P your family and you is more important than this website, so if anything your more caring, i WILL be expecting that reply though, dont let me down :P

'im not even goingto tell you to take care or so that I wish you all the best or say that i hope youll still be around when i post back in a month or so. im not saying any of that!'

Take care, i wish you all the best luck in the world, come back and i hope you feel lots better soon too :P
Good luck with your future, if i dont get to talk to you again.
x
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Last edited by Sofia123; 11-18-2008 at 09:49 AM.

 
Old 11-17-2008, 02:25 PM   #30
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Re: Anybody else with Chronic Fatigue AND Anxiety??

wow, chronic fatigue and anxiety is pretty much my life story lol. 23 yo male, in my 6th year of a 4 year marketing degree, almost done tho!

anyway I'm not even certain I OFFICIALLY have CFS, as I've not been diagnosed. everytime i goto the doctor my blood tests come back normal. I'm in great shape and actually enjoy working out (does this mean I don't have CFS?). I noticed some of you saying you feel sick all the time, and cannot partake in physical activities etc? Well for me I don't have problems with those areas, so maybe I'm in the wrong forum, but fatigue wise, and sleepiness, is always present. I just made a thread actually which details (very long tho ) my situation.

But anyway these 2 evil demons have really taken over my life. Anything having to do with functioning, cognitively that is, not physically, is ridiculously hard. Reading is my enemy b/c it takes a serious amount of effort and fight for me to will myself through the sleepiness. I often prefer to watch sports games by myself (not b/c of my social anxiety, ie even with close friends and family I'm comfortable with) because its too much effort to use my head and socialize while watching the game. I'd much rather just lie down, zone out and watch.

Going to the gym isn't a problem with me (you could say i'm an workout addict) because I don't need to use my brain that much. I'm still tired most of the time during sports/gym, but it's weird, I almost feel like my brain can goto sleep while my body does all the work.

I just wrote a thread about my social anxiety also in that forum. I'm not sure what I'm seeking on these boards (just joined), maybe just some people to relate to or possible tips/help, but these problems are so real and feel like they're weighing me down tremendously. Nevermind the myriad of regular life stresses I'm going through, I'd agree to multiply those by 100 if I could get rid of anxiety and chronic fatigue! Anyway I look forward to hearing from some of you, and hopefully we can all get some help on these issues. I'm hoping to seek counselling/and or a new doctor asa school lightens a little.

 
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