About 2 years ago i was diagnosed with cronic fatigue / cronic epstein barr. I had been sick off and on for several years with varing severity. After the months and months of tests to rule everything else out I was actually relieved to know it wasn't all in my head. However that didn't stop my sickness. I was recently laid off work, as it was explained to me even though I was "excellent" at my job and had always gotten above average reviews they needed to let someone go and since I had more than my share of sick days they decided it would have to be me. I could understand this but it didn't make it easier. So now I am laid off and have decided to go back to school and feeling really good about the decision. Now like clockwork I am "down" again. I am used to dealing with the headaches, twitches, sweats and all the other lovely things that come with it. But I am just do depressed about it all. Not doing something stupid depressed just how am I going to be able to handle school and not over stress myself stuff. Does anyone have any suggestions? I know this sounds terrible but I normally am a very positive person. Just need a little help right now. Thank you.
About 2 years ago i was diagnosed with cronic fatigue / cronic epstein barr. I had been sick off and on for several years with varing severity. After the months and months of tests to rule everything else out I was actually relieved to know it wasn't all in my head. However that didn't stop my sickness. I was recently laid off work, as it was explained to me even though I was "excellent" at my job and had always gotten above average reviews they needed to let someone go and since I had more than my share of sick days they decided it would have to be me. I could understand this but it didn't make it easier. So now I am laid off and have decided to go back to school and feeling really good about the decision. Now like clockwork I am "down" again. I am used to dealing with the headaches, twitches, sweats and all the other lovely things that come with it. But I am just do depressed about it all. Not doing something stupid depressed just how am I going to be able to handle school and not over stress myself stuff. Does anyone have any suggestions? I know this sounds terrible but I normally am a very positive person. Just need a little help right now. Thank you.
Hey, depressed...been there. I hear you, and let me at least share a little something with you. I'm on a website this morn.(emedicine affiliated with webmd) when I read that most cases of CFS get better within 5 years of onset. You should read it sometime, you put in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and go under what's called outlook (it means what's the prognosis for people with this condition). Seriously, that had to be the best medical news I've heard in awhile-you know, it gets old hearing all the other junk sometimes. I also lost my job from not being able to keep up, and went back to school for Psychology. I used it as sort of a stress distraction, and low and behold a 3.87 GPA later, I started thinking dang- I'm not so sure that's a good thing. You know when you excell at something so much, that you're doing to reduce stress- it means wow buddy, you got alot of stress!!! At least when I'm done I guess I'll be able to counsel myself! Anyway, I probably have a pretty good grasp of what your feeling, at times I'm moody, shaky,forgetful, tired of feeling inadequate, feel like I look like the walking dead, losing my figure, and unhappy with what I look like-probably because I often look like I feel! Plus, I get really jealous of seeing happy, energetic, enthusiastic people on stupid commercials, and life can just seem straight-out exhausting. It's a downer- I understand. Can you even imagine feeling this way and being 3 courses away from being a mental health professional! (This should at least make you laugh a little). So, hang in there-you're not alone in your frustration. I act like a total nutjob whacko sometimes, and I know it. I just figure so what?!! It's all just "par for the course" when dealing with the medical stuff. Seriously-do you know just how dysfunctional some of the other "normal" people are in this world? Well, I do! So, we may have some pretty rough health issues, but let's try to keep our wits about us and realize that while we may not be in "normal" health, it's okay to be abnormal. Give yourself a break, you know. Chances are, (and this is strictly my "almost professional opinion"-like that one? lol), you are probably one of those people who is really understanding of other people's limitations -especially if they are medical-based, and yet feel like you let everyone down with your own. So, snap out of it sister! You probably wouldn't expect someone to be up and running around that just had chemotherapy which knocks your entire body down. Well, right now you're dealing with something that can knock you down sometimes just as hard. The question is... are you going to let it keep you down? Come on, you know you're a tough cookie if you've been living this for the last two years (me too), so don't give up now. There are new medical advancements every single day, girl. Fight this thing, fight it hard with the same strength of emotion that gets you down-get back up! It always helps me to think of the words I heard from a 90's grunge song called Rooster: "ain't found a way to kill me yet"!!! I hope I made you smile.-Lorie
Hey, I also wanted to tell you, with the school thing-go at your own pace. I notice that somedays I just can't think well, some days I twitch and shake like a chiquaqua on crack, I get dizzy spells/headspins, migraines, orget to where I just can't 'drag my tail around'. So, I opted for internet classes and correspondence courses that let you go moreso at your own pace. I know that we tend to think of those classes as being for people to adjust their school schedule around jobs, but wow are they great for those of us that have medical problems. You will just have to pry yourself away from the computer and not overdo it with too many hours at a time. I say this because I know good and well that we tend to overcompensate for our health issues, and that's understandable-I mean heaven knows you feel like pushing it as far as possible when you finally get a good day! I know, but try to keep as much of a balance as you can. As far as balancing it with friend's and family's expectations-well, if they know about your problems and still expect too much from you,tell them to back off with the demands! It's not going to kill them to learn some sensitivity, and you're not going to do anyone any good if you get yourself down to the point that you can't function and you're freaking out do to way too much stress. So take it slowly, and if the people around you act like insensitive creetons, I say go watch an old Betty Davis movie until you learn how to give those looks that can freeze blood!-Lorie.
Last edited by LorieJ; 05-08-2009 at 01:33 PM.
Reason: additional thought
Thank you for that. You have no idea how nice it is to actually get a giggle and a smile about this, they are few and far between. Start classes again on Monday. Been 14 years since I last had to deal with school stress. And since I spent the majority of my life as the typical type A personality this is really hard. Trying to learn that I don't have to be everything to everybody is the hardest. But physically still trying to learn that. But you made me smile which has been a long time coming. THANK YOU!!
Thank you for that. You have no idea how nice it is to actually get a giggle and a smile about this, they are few and far between. Start classes again on Monday. Been 14 years since I last had to deal with school stress. And since I spent the majority of my life as the typical type A personality this is really hard. Trying to learn that I don't have to be everything to everybody is the hardest. But physically still trying to learn that. But you made me smile which has been a long time coming. THANK YOU!!
I'm glad you're smiling again, and good luck with school. If you're around the college students of today, you will probably start to feel alot better about yourself!! I know that the few times I actually took "on campus" courses, I felt like: "hey, I have serious medical reasons for my limitations and stress breakdowns, but what the heck is everyone else's excuse"? Even on my worst days and even after horrible bouts with insomnia, I was functioning better than alot of the others that supposedly had nothing wrong with them! -SCARRY! - I know!
My point is that you should try not to get too nervous or overwhelmed, especially by the school stuff. You are going to do great! Keep me updated if you want to, and I'm here even if you just want to chat. -Lorie.