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Old 02-04-2008, 09:07 PM   #1
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help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

I Have Been Dealing With Debilitating Pain For Many Years , I Agree With The Doctors That My Wieght Is An Issue In My Constant Pain. I Cannot Deny That I Am Morbidly Obese, But What I Can't Understand Is Why Any Doctor Would Leave Me In Such Severe Pain That Daily Activities Other People Take For Granted (housework, Showering, Shopping,taking Care Of My Pets, And Even Cooking ) Have Become A Nightmare For Me . I Dred Getting Out Of Bed In The Morning Because I Know My Day Will Automatically Be Filled With Pain , In Fact Lately I Have Just Begun To Stay In Bed All Day Long To Avoid The Pain . My Previous Doctor Had Me On Percocet 10 Mg Twice A Day And The New Doctor I Have Started Seeing Hasn't Changed That . But The Percocet Is No Longer Helping Much And I Am Afraid To Ask Him For Something Else Or A Stronger Dose Of Percocet Because He Gave Me A Lecture About Being On The Percocet In The First Place . Other Than Simply Wasting Away In Bed For The Rest Of My Miserable Days I Don't Know What I Can Do . Please If Anyone Knows Of Something That Can Help Me I Would Appreciate It ......freedomspirit06

Last edited by freedomspirit06; 02-04-2008 at 09:20 PM. Reason: CHECKING FOR SPELLING ERRORS

 
Old 02-04-2008, 11:59 PM   #2
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Re: help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

Hi Freedom

Welcome to our wonderful little community!
You will find many knowledgeable people here on these boards. I was so sad when I read your post. I know how bad the world of CP can be. Here's a little (gentle) hug to start you off with! ((((Freedom)))).... Now that that's out of the way, can I start off by saying, or offering a few suggestions, and I hope you are not offended by any, they are not intended that way:

1) I would go in at your next appointment and let you PM doc know that your quality of life is suffering so badly that you are now confined to the bed. Tell him like you told us....let him know that your activities of daily living (ADL's) are suffering so badly that you are now confined to the bed....
tell him because of the pain I can no longer clean house, cook, or whatever it is that you can't do. Use the pain rating scale (1-10) where 1 is no pain and 10 is the worst possible pain, and tell him how much pain you experience on a regular basis. Most good docs want their patients somewhere around a 5-6. Ask him to either A) increase your pain meds, or B) consider putting you on a long acting (LA) pain med and use the Percocet for your Break Through (BT)meds. The amount of meds you are on are almost nothing in the world of chronic pain.

2) Ask him if he is willing to prescribe a diet plan that you can take to the hospital and participate in their dietary program there. A lot of hospitals you can just go in and pick up a tray and bring it home at lunch eat it, and bring the tray back when you pick up the tray for the evening meal, and then bring THAT tray back the next day when you pick up the lunch tray and so on. When I did this, I did my own breakfast using Special K, and a bananna, and 2% milk. The weight came off pretty fast. Also, another thing that helped me lose weight (and I am down over 100 lbs now) is the drug Topamax. It is prescribed for nerve pain. I don't know if any of your pain is "nerve" pain, but if so, I'd ask him if it would be something that could kill two birds with one stone so to speak. The weight came off safe, fast and with the diet plan was monitored. I now have maintained the weight loss for over a year, and am still losing. After three months I quit the diet plan at the hospital. The food plan was around 7$ per day.

3) If this doc is UNWILLING to increase your meds, then I would be looking around for another doctor. Your doc should be willing to control your pain, and from what you have said, it doesn't seem that way.

Good luck to you hon. I'm pulling for ya.

Blessings,
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Old 02-05-2008, 04:23 AM   #3
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Re: help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

Freedom, just reading the title of your thread makes me wonder if you are somewhat suffering depression. You will find wonderful support here & excellant advice. The most important factor being that the people here are in the same boat you are. It makes me so darn mad when doctors lecture about the pain meds. In order to function you need to be able to control the pain. anyone who suffers chronic pain everyday with no control is going to get depressed. We are only human.
You mentioned your weight, well you need to focus on losing but first you need to be able to have control of the pain or that is all you will be able to focus on. Percocet twice aday is what I started on, its good at helping but does not last long, for chronic pain it does not always cut it. There are other doctors out there. I had got fed up & just told my doctor that I was sick of being in pain everyday & the pain meds were not cutting it, I needed to be able to function in everyday life. I also reconized the fear of prescribing the pain meds but let the doctor know that until another way was found that I had to gain some control of the pain, I did not want to take the meds but I had to be able to function. Look at it this way you are already suffering, what do you really have to loose by telling your doc. what you are telling us. You want what everyone deserves quality of life. You also need to speak to your doctor to see if you are suffering from depression, the two go hand in hand. Please don't give up if this doc. won't help find one that will. The hospitals should be able to give you names of doctors who are in pain management. Good luck, Sammy

 
Old 02-05-2008, 05:18 AM   #4
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Re: help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

Freedom:
Sammy has a great point about the depression issue. I realized that I had left that out of my post after I hit send. I'm dealing with some of my own issues, and I won't clutter up your thread with my "stuff", but as you can see it was almost 2am when I posted my reply to you, and I was just in what I call a "pain brain fog" when I wrote to you. I'll be posting my own thread later own looking for some advice before I see my PM doc tomorrow.

A lot of times the whole issue of depression can exacerbate the pain levels we are dealing with. Sammy had some good advice, and something else I didn't mention, but I believe in whole heartedly is a "PAIN JOURNAL". Write down when your pain level spikes, what you were doing, and what level (on a scale from 1-10 with 1 being almost no pain, and 10 being the worst pain imaginable ) you experienced, and what that pain prevent you from doing i.e. cleaning house, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, going to the childrens PTA meeting, whatever the situation might be. Bring that Pain Journal with you to your next doctors appointment, and let him read it. Very often when the doc sees your pain written in descripitve words like that, they will step back and take a proactive approach to treatment.

Sorry for any spelling, or if I am not making sense, my pain is through the roof, coupled with a migrain triggered by yet another storm front comming through so I'm not in very good shape today. A big part of that is lack of sleep. PAIN JUST SUCKS! Like I said, I'll start a thread so you all can come to MY rescue later!

Hugs you guys. Freedom you hang in there. There IS help out there!! Chin up hon!
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06-07 In Pain Mgmt. trying to deal
3/9/07 2 Level PLIF due to CES

 
Old 02-05-2008, 11:09 AM   #5
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Re: help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

Hello Freedom,

Welcome to the board .

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a tough time right now. I can certainly relate. I just found a doctor yesterday willing to take over prescribing my pain meds long-term without hesitation, it was my GP...I had spent a miserable 2 years wasting my time with pain mgmt doctors that were stingy with meds, pushed procedures that were unsafe b/c that's where they made the big bucks, overbooked so a 15 minute appt would turn into a 3 hour appt...I could go on and on...I'm not sure if you are currently seeing a PM doctor or a GP but either way it sounds like you may need to look for a new doctor...I know how scary the thought of that may be but you will feel so much better once you find a doctor that treats you with the level of respect you deserve...it doesn't matter if you are morbidly obese or a size 2, if your pain meds aren't working you deserve a doctor who will take you seriously and work with you to either increase your current meds or switch you to different pain med...I know how down in the dumps you feel, I've been where you are, it's not a good place to be but please don't give up on yourself, you deserve better than what your current doctor is offering...obviously it can take some time to find another doctor and get in to see them so in the meantime you may have to make due with your current doctor...I would call your current doctor, unless your next appt is in the next few days, and insist your appt be moved up...don't take no for an answer...at your appt, act confident, even if you're not, sometimes doctors respect patients that are confident and say exactly what they need...tell your doctor that your pain is out of control, give examples of how pain is limiting your life, such as not being able to get out of bed in the morning, he doesn't need to know why you're not getting out of bed in the morning...tell him you want him to either increase your current meds or switch your meds to something that would control your pain better...be strong...obviously you don't want to be rude to your doctor b/c for now, at the very least, you need him to continue giving you scripts for percocet.

Hang in there...I promise things will get better, so many of us living with chronic pain have been where you are, we understand what you're going through and empathize with you...keep posting, we are here for you, even if you only need to vent. Keep us updated.

 
Old 02-05-2008, 01:46 PM   #6
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Re: help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

Hi..Treatment of pain is so hard I have been thru so many medicines and treatments over the last 15 yr. that it is horribl. In Aug. of 2007 I had a pain pump inserted in my spine and thank God for the great doctor as it has helped me when all the narcotic meds wouldn't. Go to a rheumatologist and get tests done to diagnose your problems. This is important as to the treatment you get. Different meds act on different parts of the brain. Hang in there and don't give up hope. Be very firm when telling about your pain and it will help. Good luck to you. Skip6658

 
Old 02-05-2008, 01:53 PM   #7
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Wink Re: help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

Quote:
Originally Posted by skip6658 View Post
Hi..Treatment of pain is so hard I have been thru so many medicines and treatments over the last 15 yr. that it is horribl. In Aug. of 2007 I had a pain pump inserted in my spine and thank God for the great doctor as it has helped me when all the narcotic meds wouldn't. Go to a rheumatologist and get tests done to diagnose your problems. This is important as to the treatment you get. Different meds act on different parts of the brain. Hang in there and don't give up hope. Be very firm when telling about your pain and it will help. Good luck to you. Skip6658

 
Old 02-05-2008, 05:53 PM   #8
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Unhappy Re: help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][/FONT]
ITS ME SPIRIT AGAIN , I AM HAVING A REALLY ROUGH DAY , DIDN'T OR COULDN'T RATHER GET OUT OF BED UNTIL SEVEN PM . I READ ALL WHAT EVERYONE HAS POSTED AND THATK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT . MY LEG HURTS SO MUCH TODAY I FEEL LIKE I WISH IT WAS CUT OFF. I KNOW I AM DEPPRESSED I HAVE BATTLED THAT DEMON FOR AGREAT MANY YEARS , THAT AND THE CHRONIC PAIN MADE IT SO THAT I COULDN;T EVEN TAKE CARE OF MY CHILDREN PROPERLY AND SADLY I HAD TO GIVE THEM UP FOR ADOPTION. THEY HAVE A NICE HOME NOW WITH TWO PARENTS WHO ARE HEALTHY AND CAN TAKE CARE OF THIER NEEDS. I GET TO VISIT BUT IT IS STILL HARD . MY LAST OFFICE VISIT WITH THIS NEW DOC HE INCREASED MY PAXIL DOSE BUT WHY HE DIDN'T REALIZE THAT MOST OF THE DEPPRESSION IS FROM THE POOR MANAGEMENT OF MY PAIN IS BEYOND ME . I HAVE SEEN A RUMATOLIGIST AND HE SAID YES I HAVE ARTHRITITS BUT NOT SO BAD AS TO CAUSE SUCH PAIN . I ALSO HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH FIBROMYALGIA WHICH FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND IS A PAIN CONDITION ALSO. I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO I AM LITTERALLY AT THE END OF MY ROPE . I CRY ALL THE TIME . I PRAY FOR THE PAIN TO STOP BUT IT HASN'T YET . I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN TAKE IT ALL. ...SORRY FOR RANTING...SPIRIT

 
Old 02-05-2008, 06:35 PM   #9
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Re: help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

I can feel the sadness, pain, and overwhelming despair in your post. You really need a doctor that cares and wants to help you. I would highly suggest that you get on a medication called LYRICA. It has been approved recently for fibromyalgia pain. In fact, it is the first medication to be approved to specifically treat nerve pain. Call your doctor and ask if you can try it and hopefully it will give you some what of a life back. Good luck. Keep coming back and let us know if things change.

Brian

 
Old 02-05-2008, 06:40 PM   #10
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Re: help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

Hi Freedom,

Welcome to the pain boards, As you can see, a lot of us can relate to you and your story, Please please, keep posting, you have friends here who care about you. Being overweight is not an excuse to leave you suffering so horribly.

We can help you, by being an open ear, and an understanding shoulder to cry on, believe me,we DO understand what it's like.

Hopefully, we can comfort you and help you to find the strength to help yourself, We have to stand up for ourselves, but once you are with this group, you dont have to do it alone anymore.

Hopefully someone in your area can post some helpful leads for you, but in the meantime, please remember that it IS worth fighting for a happy life, and you do deserve to have one.

Looking forward to reading your posts and getting to know you better.

Your Friend, Fabby

 
Old 02-05-2008, 08:04 PM   #11
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Thumbs up Re: help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

Freedom

You received some wonderful advice and encouragment from the others on the PM Message Board. I can't offer anything new but I wanted you to know that I am praying for you.

Sincerely Nadine

Last edited by music47; 02-05-2008 at 08:05 PM.

 
Old 02-06-2008, 05:19 AM   #12
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Re: help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

Listen Freedom, what you have been through is more then anyone should have to go through. You have got to stand up for yourself & let the doctor know exactly how you feel. Ask yourself what have you got to loose. Try it, I just started keeping a pain journal myself, May sound strange but I feel better having documented about the pain, That way I can reflect back & see if anything made it worse or better & record visits with doc.
There are so many different meds out there that may help you but here is the thing you have got to tell your doc you are tired of suffereing & want help managing this pain, you have had enough. Then once you get some pain control you can ask for some help loosing weight. If this doc wont do it then keep looking until you find someone who will. It took me several doctors before I found one to help me with this pain. Honey, you let them know you are only looking for some quality of life. Only you you can do that. Perhaps taking a friend for support might help. Try the pain diary to. You are worth it so get on that phone & make an appointment & don't give uo, you may have to tell the doc what you have told us, or write it down & hand him those words in a pain diary. Good luck Sammy

 
Old 02-06-2008, 06:51 AM   #13
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Re: help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

Hi, Freedom,
Hello, fellow mainer, I also live in Maine. We are going through our winter in Maine, and it is horrible. I think in some way we all suffer from depression in the winter and I know that the weather effects my pain. I, too, suffer from chronic pain that on somedays effects my daily duties. My husband, god bless him, thinks that since I have gained some weight that it might be the reason for my pain. My doctor said that no that is not the reason. He told me that lets first get the pain under control and then worry about the thong bikini. Funny! We are all praying for you and will help you. You need to get to your doctor, or find a new one who is more helpful, and supportive of your pain. Good luck.

 
Old 02-06-2008, 09:27 AM   #14
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Re: help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

Quote:
Originally Posted by brianpain33 View Post
I would highly suggest that you get on a medication called LYRICA. It has been approved recently for fibromyalgia pain. In fact, it is the first medication to be approved to specifically treat nerve pain.
Hi Brian and Spirit,

I might try lyrica as a last resort, after trying other nerve meds...one of the side effects of lyrica is weight gain. If you decide to talk to your doctor about trying a nerve med you may want to ask about topamax, one of the side effects of it is weight loss. I previously took lyrica for about 16 months and didn't have any terrible side effects besides gaining weight. I am currently on topamax and have lost 35 pounds in 3 months.

I just thought I'd throw in my 2 cents . Good luck Spirit.

Scrappin'

Last edited by scrappinmaniac; 02-06-2008 at 09:28 AM.

 
Old 02-06-2008, 01:46 PM   #15
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Re: help i would rather die than live my life always in pain !

Hi Freedom,

I am so sorry that you are having so much pain.


This is a good place for you to come for support and help in becoming an advocate for your health.

Please do not give up.

I saw some good suggestions from others. I would not give up until I found a doctor to listen to what I have to say. One that will treat the whole person.

Pain management is where a few friends that I have are going and they have Fibro.

I Just wanted you to know that there is support here and reach out to you.

Hang in there....

Christine

 
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