I do remember telling you all I was not feeling really good and was going to stay home. I had purchased a candle from a firend and she at first was coming to drop it off at 11:30 but then got behind time wise and asked if I would meet her at the 12 sep meering to pick it up. I agreed and told her to also stop by after becuase I had something I made that I wanted to show her.
Now yesterday morning I woke up with some spasming in my neck. More than usual for that time of day so I decided to take the Valium in the morning and get it controled. It did help and then I took a shower and all that and went to the meeting.
I swear as soon as I sat down in the hard chair my head started to tilt to the right. (It is always somewhat tilted but not llike this) So I sat for a few trying to listen to the people talking and it just came on so fast ansd so bad I had to leave.
My sponsor was sitting behind me and I turned to her and said I am going home . SHe said she could see my neck and shooulder contorting .
I drove home and did take my long acting med and laid down with heat because the ER doc last time said heat was best,
When my friend finally got there she and I waited 30 min while I called the PM and left a message and then the Orhto and they said to go to ER so we left.
The nurse who checked me in was totally uncompassionate and not even looking at me or asking me really any questions. By the way when I become a nurse this is not the hospital I wish to work at because ...welll that is annother story.
They finally get me back into a room and leave me and my friend therir and don't even prop up the bed. We can't get it to work so we finally got someones attention and got that done. That nurse was a different one and she brought me a warm blanket.
So then the doc comes in and he was real nice he was very understanding and considerate. He asked me flat out what works to get the spasm to go dowm and relax some? I explained about the different drugs to the nurse who checked me and barley looked at me, but when the doc asked me again I repeated all the info again and he said he wanted to gove me some IV fluids and some valium and some Demoral. I thanked him and he said he would be back to check me in a bit. I also told the doc that last time this happened gentle manipulation of my head after being give the meds was something that laso helped.
The next peron who came in was a nurse I believe and he was a big guy and not cool or nice really. He was just there to set up the IV and what not.
Sometimes when I get in that much pain I cry or I get real quite or I will even start to mumble and sometimes be craking off the wall kjokes. So this time I was craking funky jokes. He really did not seem to think they were funny so I tried to knock it off, but I could not help it. WHen he first walked in the room he had on the brightest pink shirt I have ever seen and I said "hello bright Man" This is what bad pain does to me sometimes.
I was tallking to my friend Kelly who was there with me for a while and I said Kelly, ( i am crying now) this is all going to make me a better nurse ya know!" and the big guy setting up my lIV said no it wont it will just make you guage your patients by your own pain experiences. I was shocked! I said look bud every person experiences pain in there own way and I have been doing it for so long that I have become good at pushing forward when I should not . I now how it can effect a persons life and and I know my experiences will make me a better person. Actually he must of been an RN because he did push in the first stuff into my IV and then I could no longer talk right..lol
I cant believe this spasm come on like this. I am so tired of this all and I just can not wait until the day is finally here. I have never experienced these kinds of spasms ever in my life. They are so painful and scary when they happen.
This time I feel I did alot better at handeling myself when it strted to get real bad. I was not to focused on the scarriness because I know know what they are and how and what and what is done to help them get better.
The thing that worries me is having one of those after my ACDF fusion surgery. I would bet the pain would be worse than it was yesterday. The pain I had yesterday was oretty well off the chart so it is tough to think of it being any worse.
Last night I kept jerking awake which i think is from the Demoral and I was sooo hot all night. I am finally up this morning and already had my coffee.
The aftermath of yesterdays terrible spasm has now left my entire left side full of burning pain from my neck all the way down my back and into the shoulder and clavical.
Today I set an appointment to do some religous things that I wanted done before surgery so I need to make the appointment at 2:30 pm today.
I know this is another long post from me but I guess I gotta get it all out.
I thank you for reading.
Chrissy, Honey I am so sorry, when you think it cant get any worse it does.
Try not to worry about what will happen after the surgery, focus on today.
If you cant do that & it is really bothering you, then perhaps let the doctor know of your fears & ask him how to handle this if it occurs. Tell him you want to be prepared, that it scares you. I hope all stays calm from this point until that surgery date gets here. Not long now. Try to just pamper yourself till then. As far as the hospital staff, never mind, it takes all kinds. That is how we learn from the good & the bad. God bless, Sammy
Chrissy my darlin', I know the surgery is not far off, but I really think you need to talk to your PM and explain all that is happening. I would ask him to do whatever is necessary to help you get to the surgery date. If it means more meds, temporarily, then so be it. I know you and he have concerns about post-op pain, etc. but seriously, right now, that's a moot point.
Please don't do any more than is absolutely necessary right now. It seems even the simple stuff is pushing you over the edge, painwise. I know there are some things you want to get settled before the surgery, but try to do whatever you can over the phone or ask people to come to you. Driving and running about aren't going to do you any good right now.
I'm sorry for the way some of the ER staff treated you, but I'm glad you went. If this gets worse, go again, if you have to. I pray for you every day, hon. Take care and rest, rest, rest. God Bless, CMP/MM
Chrissey, dont worry about after surgery, stop worry about things that might never happen. Why waste the time and energy. Keep your energy and strength for recovery. How many times have we worried ourselves sick over one thing or another.............. and everything worked out fine.
Hi Chrissy, I suffer from a condition called Cervical Dystonia which is severe and uncontrollable muscle spasms of the neck. This is how mine first started when one came on it would cause my head to turn to the left and my shoulder would draw up to the point my ear was touching my shoulder. If you keep having spasms that cause your head to tilt to the side, you need to see someone about this perferably a neurologist. These spasms can come out of nowhere and they can hurt so bad that it will bring tears to your eyes. Two things that causes mine are if I overuse my opposite arm or try doing anything that requires reaching over my head. The one cause is weather changes. I've made a whole lot of visits to the ER to get them under control and usually the only thing that ever helps is a shot of Sedrol Medrol which is a shot of prednisone and something else. These kinds of spasms can leave you permenately disabled, I should know they have left me permenately disabled. My left shoulder now is raised higher than my right and my arm is permenately locked to where my left hand touches my left shoulder. Cervical Dystonia can result from a previous injury to the neck and in some cases there's no real reason to explain what causes this condition. I take Soma 350mg a day to keep them under control but there are days I still have them no matter what. Now yrs after I first starting having them, I am now getting them where I have spasms in my back as well. So please if you continue to have spasms in this matter, please have them check out.
RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystropy)
Cervical Dsytonia- severe muscle spasms in the neck
I know all too well what an ER visit like that is. In my little town, you think they would know my history and what I deal with, but they still treat ANYone in the ER like an addict. I havent been in 3 years, but believe me, they are nasty and rude to everyone. Concentrate on your surgery, and recovery. Youll be just fine~
Best Wishes, Chrissy~
Rayefaye, I know what you mean about the turning of the head and the lifting up of the shoulder! You described almost to a T what I looked like yesterday.
Actually the day of my car accident I turned down an ambulance but told the police I had already called a friend to meet me at home and then to take me to the ER. When she got there that is what I looked like. Since the accident and surgery I have had it that bad only 3 times I think, but I do daily get spasms that are pretty aweful.
I think that my left shoulder and head arch upward toward my ear all the time. I feel that my head tilts to the right all the time because it is trying to compensate because of the pain ---in turn causeing other pain.
You all would be proud to know I only left the house to do my one littel religous thing I wanted to do and the rest of today I was sleeping or laying on the couch.
Tomorrow my wekkly visit to church and then more rest for me. I just know it helps me when I can get still
Getting me to sit still is the hard part.
It is hard to just be still sometimes But from this point on I am going to really limit myself to one thing a day and if it does not get done then oh well. My mom and I will need to figure it out later.
As far as any 12 step meeting i will plan a particular day and that is it!
I just cant go through that again.
I am pretty whipped out today! All day I have felt like I had either the sweats or the chils. I even felt like I was coming down with something, but know it seems to have passed.
So tomorrow I plan to watch a movie and read after church.
Thanks again everyone.
An oh yeah there is always a bad seed in the hospital ER right?? lol At least the Dr. was totally cool and understnading and do not pass judgemnet on me. So the pay off was good.
Chrissy, I'm so sorry you had a bad pain flare-up! For the record, I think Bright Shirt Guy was wrong. This WILL make you a better nurse, because it will make you a more compassionate person. Don't get me wrong, I wish you never had to go through this at all, but you seem like the type who will make the best of any situation.
My husband hurt his neck mountain biking this week. He had really bad pain for a day. He told me that it wasn't until he had such bad pain that he could COMPLETELY empathize with me. He said he always believed that I was in a lot of pain, but after that, he actually knew how I felt. He said he couldn't imagine living with that 24/7. I think that shows that people who have shared a situation, like severe pain, are better able to empathize with others in the same situation.
I hope you are feeling better! I agree with the others that you should just take it easy before surgery. Make sure you prep for the surgery, though, because you will be laid up for a while. There is a great thread on the Spinal Cord Issues board about prepping for ACDF surgery. See if you can find it, there is great advice on it.
Toonces thanks for your support! I think you are right about bright shirt Guy! I must have been in a lot of pain to have said that right to the guy out loud. lol My friend and I talked about it yesterday. She said I was pretty finnuy and that was all before the pain meds. She told me I had a full range of actions going on. One minute I would be crying big time from the pain and the next I would be quite or cracking a joke.
I will go into the spinal cor area and see if I can find the post. I actually have read many many posts here and on another forum about the surgery, and I have an idea of what to do and expect ..I guess, but I think we can never be totally prepared for what comes post-op because eveyone is different.
This morning I really feel the aftrmath of the spasm. My entire left side from my neck all the way down to my hopline is just totally on fire. it has not felt quite like that for a while now. Not since before I saw the PM last and he said I could use 1 valium a day.
I think the spasm just made everythnig totally inflammed there so I am going to work on getting the inflamation down as best I can before surgery.
I would like to go to church today but If I can't get the pain down from where it is right now...welll then I will stay home and read and watch TV.
this might sound dumb but do you have a soft collar for when the neck spams are really bad???? Besides ice heat meds i use the soft collar ( with docs blessing) when the neck spams start. I can handle the muscle spams any where but when it starts in the neck ( because of the double level fusion it really blows me over)
I am glad you went to er and got help
You have suffered so much for so long. You must have a reserve of strength that I surely don't have. I do pray for you as often as I think of you. And I know that the Lord does not want you to suffer, nor is He causing it. So there must be a reason. I find it very hard to handle when the reasons for suffering aren't clear.
I have found over and over again that the suffering I've endured has led me to understand and show compassion to others. I am certain He has this in mind for you too, as you've already shown, but I think He has even more for you. You are very special Chrissy. I mean, very, very special. It wouldn't surprise me at all to learn years from now that you are doing incredible things for Him and for those who suffer.
But for now I wish we could get you at least a taste of what Pepper is finally enjoying. I am so hopeful this surgery will mark the beginning of your well-deserved relief.
Are you ready? Is there something specific I/we can pray for to help you be ready? Please let us know, OK?
You are so sweet. ((((hugs)))) thank you for your words...they truly do mean so much to me. They honestly touch my heart in a way that can not be put into words.
The BIG Spasm from Friday has left me with some high pain levels of course.
I did finally find a Wedge Pillow set that I thought would suit my needs best. My Mom is so sweet she actually purchased it for me! It was spendy price wise, but I really think it will help. Here is a good example.
First of all I spent most of the day yesterday laying around reading and watching tv after church and a grocery and gas trip.
I slept for like 3 hours and that felt good.
I woke up in the middle of the night last night...about 1:45 with the most severe burning pain inbetween my shoulder blades. Including the area that always has a buring feelin at the very bottom of my scapula close to the spine. I was really qverwhelmed by the pain and even felt sick to my stomach.
I decided to take my memory foam flat pillow and some other pillows down to the couch and try to sleep down there. I never sleep on the couch, but it was much cooler down there. I put the pillows in a 1/2 reclined 1/2 sitting position with a pillow under my knees and I actually feel bac to sleep until about 6:15 am which is rare for me to sleep that late.
I still had the pain in the shoulder blade area but not as bad. I took my normal morning meds right away becuse I was now a bit off schedule for the day.
The set of pillows I should recieve soon...with in the next 4-5 days. It is a set of three pillows. One wedge one cervical and one for lumbar but I plan to use it under my knees.
I was going to start a new thread but I will just post here for now.
This afternoon I will be returning to my first day back to college. I am a bit nervous becasue of the class length. That was always my one thing I would be concerned about. SO today will be the only class day I get before my surgery because next Monday is a holiday and then a week from Wed is my surgery.
So please please pray that today's class may not run the full length of time or that I will not get to uncomfortable.
As for surgery, the only thing I think I will need from you all is what you all already have been doing! The support, encouragement, suggestions on how to handle things, prayers and as always your compassion which is a given here on this forum.
It has been a long road to get to this surgery date and I do hope it can restore me enough to where I can return to being a productive member of society. I really do miss having a job to go to every day. To go to a job and do the best I can no matter what the pay. To feel productive and a "part of". To feel as though I am self suffecient and independent again. I miss the little things about working. Even the times when it is tough to deal with others...lol.
You all have really been there for me through out this entire thing. I appreciate every single one of you.
I'm glad the pillows on the couch helped. Isn't it strange, what we have to do sometimes, to get into even a somewhat comfortable position? I'm sure this new set will be a Godsend, especially post-op.
I am praying for you, as always. I hope school isn't too bad tomorrow. I know you don't want to miss too much class time, but it sounds like you've got things pretty well covered for the time you'll be out. Just don't overdo it, OK? If you get into the class an hour or so, and you start feeling like you can't stay any longer, just give your recorder to the person who is going to be helping you out, and get home and off your feet. You really need to be going into this surgery as well rested as you can be.
Sorry I haven't stopped by in a while! I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're still struggling so much with pain - I'm glad the surgery is right around the corner now. I know the surgery is also a bit never-wracking [having had one myself ]. I think you are doing great and hanging tough though all of this. I know everyone here is eager to see you out of pain as soon as possible! I hope school went ok today - it's a pain to have to enroll just to keep your health insurance. I've been in that boat before as well.
This doesn't seem like the right place, but I don't want to forget - actually, I forgot you've already had a surgery so you know the ropes - I was just going to say that it's important to have your mom, friends, whomever be with you at the hospital as much as possible to make sure you're getting the meds and care you need. If I could go back in time, I would have had my parents there 24/7.
Just wanted you know that you're in my thoughts. I'm hoping your surgery goes well and that you have an easier time in the interim and don't have to go off to the ER again!
Well I go to the class room and there was supposed to be a nice chair there for me and the chair that was there was falling apart. I went to the counceling office and told them the chair was falling apart. I also need to have a desk that is a certian heighth so that I can get my legs under it. I swear this particular classroom has seats for high school students.
I said I would come back today and sort it out but I just don't have the energy. I will just call her and tell her the chair turned out to be comfortable enough but if they could find one that was not falling apart that would be better. I am sure the disability counselor did not know this all was taking place.
I think if I call there today i can get it worked out. We do not return to school until a week from next Monday! SO I actually have from the 3rd which is my surgery day until the 8th when I would return to class if I am up to it. I already have someone lined up to take my tape recorder to class for me if I am not up to it.
As for the pain...I was in total pain before the class even started and when I got home I laid down right away.
I woke in the night again with the burning inbetween the shoulder blades! So once again I went down to the couch and had a bowl of cerial and then got all my pillows and slept the remainder of the night there.
Today Is my pre-op appoinment with the surgery center. I will be expressing all my concernes about the anesthesia and the apin control afterward.
I want them to be fully aware of how much meds I am already on so as not to be undermedicated after surgery. Or thrown into any withdrawl situation. I have some lists to bring with me.
My attorney has the Surgeon now on a Lein basis for me and the anesthesiologist. And as far as I know I will be having the same anesthesiologist as I had fro the neck surgery I had in Jan this year. So he will already know me.
We are now week away from surgery and either the days will go fast or they will go slow...who knows. I have basically ceised(SP) doing anything strenuous at all. I have not really even cleaned the house much more than my one mess at a time. I will have to pick things up the day before surgery and put them away. Really the house is not that bad. My Mom says I keep it imaculate so I guess thats a good thing.
I have a few beading projects that I am working on for my Moms birthday that I do need to finish before my surgery. He B-day is the 18th of September and I want to get tem done befor surgery incase I am unable to afterward. What I made her is beautiful. I just need to put the clasps on.
The pain is the same same same as always and i am hoping and praying for some relief from this surgery. I do understand that the relief may not come right away.
I have also been telling people I know that I will be unable to drive for 4-6 weeks and will need help in doing some things when y Mom is not here. She can not be here for weeks at a time. She also has a life in her town. SO I think ker plan is to be here for a few days after I come home then to go home a few days and come back...like last time. I really need her to understand that If I am unable to do things for myself at the time she would like to return home that I will need her to stay. I just hope she will understand. The last time I had surgery and she left I got confused on how the meds were supposed to be taken, partly due to the surgeons PA writing two differnet things from the first bottle to the refill bottle. I got confsued and then undermedicated and had to go to the ER and be admitted over night.
Okay enough rambling on about my fears. Just one more bit just in case I have not said this before.
The two major things I am worried about are the pain control after surgery, and the surgery center wanting to let me go home before I am comfortable doing so. These I will bring up today at the pre-op.
Okay thats it. Anyone who has done this type of surgery before please let me know anything you feel I should know.