Pain not worse, but getting worn down by it
I have had on/off back pain for the past 4 years. I have had 2 surgeries and now am being told I might have permanent nerve damage which causes pain down my right buttocks and leg.
I am one to fight taking pain meds. I have spent the better part of this year in pain. I have realized I need a quality of life and have been taking my pain pills as directed by my PM doctor.
However, I am finding that I am not dealing with the pain as well as I had before. Even though right now my pain is not as severe as it has been, it is still this deep ache that NEVER goes away. I am just so sick of being in pain. This is why I have started taking my pain meds regularly. I just am soooooo tired of being in pain.
I used to be able to go all day without taking a pain pill and know that lying down at bedtime would help with the pain. Today I was cooking dinner and just couldn't take the ache and took my 2nd pain pill of the day (as prescribed). The pain wasn't unbearable, it was just that I had been worn down from the ache all day. And then I know tomorrow I will wake up and the ache will start all over again. It is a constant fight....ache vs. the pain pills. I feel like I am losing the war.
Is this a normal part of dealing with pain? Do people just get worn down from the pain every day? I am meeting with my PM doctor and will bring this up. I also want to talk to a psychologist.
Re: Pain not worse, but getting worn down by it
10sox - I have recently been feeling really upset about the constancy of the pain, too. I also did not think my pain was worse, but I just couldn't take it anymore all day every day. I started on a long acting pain med and it is really helping because I now have times during the day when I have very little pain and I can concentrate on life. I would encourage you to be more involved in managing your pain well. I resisted pain meds, too. I realized, however, that I am not the type to get addicted to anything, and I had been taking short-acting pain meds (Vicodin) for 8 months and I never craved it or took more than I was supposed to. It sounds like you are doing the same (taking it responsibly). Is addiction what you are afraid of with the pain meds?
I have a psychologist that specializes in pain management. I think it has been helpful for me. I would encourage you to explore it, especially if your insurance covers it. Search around to find someone who is highly recommended. There are a lot of just average therapists out there. Maybe you can talk to your doctor about getting a recommendation.
I can really understand where you are coming from. I haven't had pain for nearly as long as you have, and I understand the nagging and wearing down of your psyche by the pain every day. I hope you can find some relief...
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