Its been really crazy here for me, but yet also really depressing...My life is at a standstill and I just want to get my back fixed and all of this crap over with...
Im tired of living on pain meds, tired of having to lock up my meds, ration all of my meds, haviing to beg for more pain relief when Ive been a good patient, ect. Im just OVER IT, PERIOD.
Ill let you all know asap when the results are back...Im having to drive 4 hrs to get an open MRI because quite frankly, even with Xanax, ect I just cannot do the closed one.
It sucks because my son is needing me more than ever right now, and Im not there like I would want to be for him. Today he had a haircut appt, and I was so flat on my back I couldnt even take him. [he was thrilled of course!]
Ive just gone downhill so badly, and its taken a huge toll on me. My life has changed, Im mostly in bed most of the time or on the couch. Its been a horrible life changing experince for me and my family. Everything just took a huge turn for the worse, and Im sure my dad's death had a lot to do with it, but Ive been working thru all of that, so I really have to just try to be patient. while I was home trying to help my mom and deal with all of the stuff, there was moving things, sorting things, ect, a TON of physical activity, and I really did myself in.
Im just ready for all of this to be over. Im sure all of you have felt the same way. And my biggest fear is that the surgery wont be sucessful.
Anyway, Ill be in touch tomorrow when I get back and let you all know how my MRI went. Ive missed you all, and hope everyone is doing well.
Again, Im sorry for not posting, Ive been lurking a bit, but just havent felt like i could say what was really going on in my life at this time. I hope you all understand...I know that you who know me will, and that means more to me than you'll ever know.
Oh, Izmo bless your heart, you are dealing with some bad feelings right now - I wish I could be there to help you - It sounds like you need to get some help with dealing with the loss of your Dad - I did when my Dad died and it really helped
You are going to get through this cuz you are one tough girl and even though you cannot be tough now, you will still do fine -
I will be praying for you Huggs Aver
Wanted to wish you well with the MRI tomorrow (well, today I guess). I don't like the closed in feeling of them either. I finally just eyeball them before I get on the table and make myself think, "It is just a big old machine."
Izzy, sometimes life just takes us down and makes us stop and reflect and really think about our lives. We would never take the time otherwise. Maybe Nature is telling you it is time to really take care of yourself physically and emotionally. And that always takes some degree of time. Your body and brain are both worn down of late with pain and grief. They both maybe need some time out?
Take care of yourself and listen to the signals.
I will stop by later to see how you made out. And move over in that MRI... there are a lot of your buddies here who will be crowding in beside you as you go through the test. Smiles.
Last edited by reachout; 09-24-2008 at 09:33 AM.
Izzy, I am shecduled tonight for an MRI & am dreading it so I am with you my friend. I am sick of all the meds to & everything else that goes along with it.
I will be keeping you in my prayers & hope everything works out for you.
Take care & know that we are here for you. Sammy
Life is so hard for all of us here and we all can say we care and really mean every word so when we all get together and give our well wishes it must mean a lot and send a lot of positive energy your way. I hope things go well. Allan
25-Nov-2010: ALIF fusion L5-S1. 9 years of Chronic lower back pain. Nearly 18 months of pain across my upper pelvis, through my butt and down my left leg into my foot. Sciatica relieved by surgery.
What can I say??? I understand about not posting. I've been doing the same thing myself. I think we all have these times. So many here seem to be having so much happening right now. I know for me, this year was a really difficult one, in terms of the losses in my life. It's been several years since I lost my dad and just a few less for mom and my baby girl, but for some reason, it just seemed to really slam me this year. And you are so right. It does contribute to the pain.
I know that every person has to deal with grief in their own way. But, I can tell you that it will get better. You never totally get over these things, but you learn to cope and move forward. It is a process though and it just takes time. And I agree with the others who said it would be a really good thing if you could find a good therapist to see. I don't know what I'd do without mine.
I hope the MRI goes well, and as Reach said, we'll all be there with you. I've already taken my Xanax! Let us know how it goes, when you can. I'm here for you darlin', even if I haven't logged on every day. I will always check, when I do log on, to see how you are and to offer my love and support whenever I can. Big, Big hugs, CMP/MM
Awwwwww! All of you are so amazing...seriously. Hrese the scoop. I was sceduled for my MRI the day I wrote the post, and I had trouble getting out of town so I had to reschedule it for the NEXT day. Thursday. Well my doc ordered TWO, but when I got there [I actually drove down Wed. eve ands spent the night.] they only had me scheduled for ONE. What drama.
So they did the one that best covered the area I showed them needed to be done. Also the MRI was supposed to take 45 minutes and ended up taking 2 hours. It was extremely uncomfortable, and really hard to get my body centered in the position they needed. they had about 6 ppl in there trying to get it right.
Anyway...They were all very polite and helpful, my son made me a CD to listen to, and LOL it was a dance mix that sounded like a freight train and spastic club music all at once when I was getting it done. I couldnt tell the machine from the music, but bless his heart, I tried it for the first 20 minutes, and had to change to some contemporary jazz.
I hadnt eaten all day, and got done around 3pm and had to be home by 5pm. It was one of those days that I wished had been over from the moment i woke up.
I got up today, and felt like a train had hit me...the last part of the MRI they had me in a straight jacket sort of thing and I had my arms to my sides so close that my hands were asleep for 20 minutes. It really was a taxing day. then the drive home, and dinner, shower and homework for sonny to follow.
Sorry for the whining, I just wanted to give an update...
Ill post tomorrow and I really wante to say THANK you to all of you who prayed for me, and were there in spirit for me...I felt everyones' support, and it really did help more than you will ever know.
Im off to watch the debate~