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Really need to feel I'm not alone

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Old 10-28-2008, 07:15 PM   #1
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Question Really need to feel I'm not alone

I just got a new pm doctor that feels its ok to yell at me, tell me I need in patient treatment not for drug use but because I was abused as a child 30 some years ago, and even agrees that he loves to intemidate others including other doctors.
I have had cronic pain now since 91 from a major car accident. Have had Migrains even longer.
I had a great doctor who gave me back my life for 4 years but she quite and left me with a "Hope you can find someone soon" approche and a 2 month prescription of my pain meds.
Well it took me almost 2 months to go through my last months worth trying to find a doctor, but I guess that was bad cause my new doctor says I have a problem with drugs because I did not finish them in a timely manner. WHAT?? I just don't think I should take them unless the pain is sever. Was I wrong? Well doc sure thinks so. Maybe he thought I was hoarding them. But if that was the case would I have told him that I still had some? Well maybe I would have thought of that if I would have known it was going to be this hard to find another doctor that really wanted to help.
Does ANYONE know of a Doctor that does not believe in yelling or putting a person down just because they want their pain to go away?
ANYone in the WA. State area PLEASE!

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Old 10-28-2008, 07:29 PM   #2
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Re: Really need to feel I'm not alone

I am sorry for the way your were treated. I am not in your area but just wanted to send my prayers and support. My main issue with my dr is he doesnt like to answer alot of questions. I have a million usually. He knows I look up anything he says. Best wishes on finding a good dr who will treat your pain.

Old 10-28-2008, 07:38 PM   #3
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Re: Really need to feel I'm not alone

Thank you so much Shannon for your kind words. You don't know how much it helps to know that someone is there.

Originally Posted by shananava View Post
I am sorry for the way your were treated. I am not in your area but just wanted to send my prayers and support. My main issue with my dr is he doesnt like to answer alot of questions. I have a million usually. He knows I look up anything he says. Best wishes on finding a good dr who will treat your pain.

Old 10-28-2008, 07:47 PM   #4
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Re: Really need to feel I'm not alone

Hi Jeana,

I am sorry that you are being treated so poorly and cruelly. I think the first time a doctor yelled at me would be the last time I would see them. I could not and would not put up with it period.

Have you talked with your primary care doctor about possibly taking over your meds? My primary care doctor writes my scripts.

Another possible idea is to talk with your pharmacist who fills your prescription. I suspect you have a relationship of some sort i.e. have been using them for awhile and he might be willing to give you a couple of doctors names in the area that are willing to write scripts. I explain that you doctor has left and tell him you are in search of a new doctor.

Good luck and I pray that you can have this resolved soon. I imagine this is not helping your pain levels any. Take care.


Old 10-29-2008, 04:15 AM   #5
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Re: Really need to feel I'm not alone

Jeana, Pepper gave you good advice.
That treatment is uncalled for. I had a doctor yell at me & boy was I upset.
I took someone along the next time I had to go in, no way was I going in myself. That is not what your paying him for & after what I am assuming is your first visit how dare he make those kinds of accusations! I dont fill my one med on time & the pharmacist said in her opinion thats a good thing.
I truely hope you find a good PM. I asked around to people I trusted, ended up someone knew someone who worked in a hosptial who had some respected names & then a couple others I asked the name of my PM came up 3times. I also asked one of the doctors that I had seen for more then one name so I could have a choice. Dont know if this helps but I wish you the best. God bless, Sammy

Old 10-29-2008, 05:42 AM   #6
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Re: Really need to feel I'm not alone


I am sorry to hear that you have to go through this with your doctor. And, I am not in your area. Doctors sure don't understand what it is like to be a patient! And they don't understand what it is like to be facing running out of your meds. I would have probably spread things out too, just not knowing when you would get a doctor that understands your situation. I guess they don't know it, but the doctors reward us for not telling them everything. So when you do, it ususally is taken the wrong way and you are punished. My doctor said he doesn't trust me either, and I think that is mostly because I went 10 days beyond when I was supposed to call in to refill some meds. Things I have been on for several years and in doing so saved up some extras, for many reasons a patient thinks of that a doctor doesn't seem to understand. Just take the idea that you have medicine that you need about every 4 hours, and if you are functional, you are working and doing other things, and because of that you put your medicine in several containers to never be without them. It takes some extras to have some in several containers. There have been so many times when I have been out working and realized that I didn't have the right ones with me. I am afraid also that if I don't split them up, I might lose the bottle they came in, and then where would I be? Doctors! I hope you find a better one soon. No patient should have to put up with being yelled at. As patients we try to do all they tell us. If only they would try as hard to understand what it is like to be a patient! And, now I have to go to my doctor, which I don't look forward to either.

Old 10-29-2008, 11:44 AM   #7
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Re: Really need to feel I'm not alone

So sorry sweetie! NO doctor should treat you that way... you CAN find someone else... you SHOULD find someone else... that is totally WRONG!!

I am so sorry that happens. I know that it takes a while to find the right doc for you, you will... this is NOT the one!

Don't worry about the medication thing... I do the same. I don't want my doc thinking that I am abusing drugs so I don't take them unless I have severe pain (which, nowadays, is always!)... I feel my "success" in being satisfied with my docs comes from my Internal Medicine doc... he is understanding and on the same page with me. He doesn't want me addicted to drugs either... he and I work together to try to find a solution. It is nice that I have someone (even if the pain rages out of control) that wants to research and help me. I am in Ohio so I can't help you... but I want you to know I am sending hugs, love and prayers your way!

Don't put up with that guy!

Last edited by magnoliamt; 10-29-2008 at 11:46 AM.

Old 10-29-2008, 12:58 PM   #8
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Re: Really need to feel I'm not alone

Thank you all..
The doctor I lost in June was my primary care doctor. So no I don't have one anymore. As for the PM I have, he would not let my husband go back with me, because I tried taking him so that maybe the doctor would not yell at me. But it didn't work because my husband was denied entry. And no, it was not my first visit. In one month he has had me in his office 5 times. Each time it takes about 15 mins. for him to remember who I am. He says its because he has to many patients to remember who we are. Shut, he still doesn't even know how to say my first name right.
At almost 1500.00 for this month alone (because he doesn't take insurance) up front(first 425.00 in cash only) I would think he could remember my first name. In the 5 times I have seen him I have had to correct him on my name each time. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. Thats part of the reason I know he is not hearing me at all. For 3 of those visits he would ask if I got the drug essesment testing done. Even though I did that the first day and went over it with him repeatly over each visit. He has it in his hand the first visit then completely forgets he has even read it. Every time... Hate to tell you what I think..
Anyway, not giving up hope. Will start looking for new Dr. And again thank you all for your support. You all have lifted my spirits.

Old 10-30-2008, 05:04 PM   #9
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Re: Really need to feel I'm not alone

My goodness he does sound like a jerk, hate to say that but geez some of these doctors forget that you are paying them not the other way around.

I hope you find a new PM, this one sounds like he causes you to much stress just going in. That is the one thing you dont need. I wish we could say whats on our minds in an adult manner of course without being fearful of retribution, such as not getting our pain meds. I give you credit I dont think I could handle a doctor like that. You should always be able to take someone especially your spouse in with you. That sounds strange. Alot of doctors encourage it. Most people forget what is said or forget to ask questions & two heads are better then one. I must say the insurance thing sounds pretty strange to.
I am going to bet that this guy has rep. with other doctors in your community, so if you find another PM in the surrounding area he or she may very well know all about this doctor & there for understand why you wanted change. I am also thinking perhaps you should see if this doctor has had any complaints filed against him, as some people on this board have done in the past. Maybe it does not matter to you one way or another, but it sure would give you some some insight if others have had problems with him.
Good luck, I think its so wrong to suffer & then have to deal with a doctor that treats you so awful. Please keep us informed. I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers. Sammy

Old 10-31-2008, 09:40 AM   #10
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Re: Really need to feel I'm not alone

Dr Pepper is right on - they would get to yell at me once - I even think it is appropriate to notify the licensing bureau in your state - know that I will be praying for you to find someone appropriate for you immediately
huggs Aver
uuugghhh WHAT A JERK!!!!!

Old 11-17-2008, 09:39 AM   #11
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Re: Really need to feel I'm not alone

Hey Hey people:

All I can say is you all are great... And yes it is Jeanna but sounds like Gina..LOL
Sorry not been here for a while. Been in so much pain and misrey that I guess you could say I took some feel sorry for me time.

Will try not to do that so often. Well quit my job. This coming weekend is my last. Pain so bad that I just cant give it my best let alone my ok.
Headache whice goes into migrain 2 to 3 times a week still here after 2 months. But on a great note said good bye to crazy Doctor. Last time I called him about still having headache he yelled that he never promised me he could get rid of my pain....hhhmmm PM doc that cant help with pain....??? What??? Well his receptionist felt so bad that she even tried to help me. I asked her once when I was in the office how she coped with working for a person so angry and she winked and said daily meds. I laughed but have to say that I feel sorry for her.
Anyway, neck surgen did bone scan on my sholder to head area to see if he could figure out why I still have this presistant headache. Wanted him to do the whole spin since I was there with this dye in my body but his office said he will discuss doing that on my next visit. Just wanting me to pay again for office visit and then the procedure again. It really makes me angry how they bleed you for money like that. Anyway I hope I hear from them today about the results. He says that if there is HOT spots that he will shoot them with novacain and if that takes the pain away he will then kill the nerve endings. I know its not the best thing to do but if it gets rid of the headache, even with my VERY VERY Big fobea of needles, I will do it. Shoot getting to the point where I am about to say just do my whole spin. Then I would not have to find a PM that lisens...hmm I think I like that idea.
Went to new doc also that took over my (good) PM doc and she had gotten to many of her patients. She will take me on as my primary but wants to send me to another PM doc. Really scared about that. Had High blood pressure when I was there for the first time in my life. Wonder if it could have been that I was shaking and just waiting for her to start yelling...LOL
Scard to tell her about lisence for the green stuff. I am so embarrest about that one. Will have to tell her tomorrow though. Anyway, she said since I have been off Pain Meds now for over 2 months. 1 when I saw her, that she did not want me back on them and gave me muscle relaxers and pain blockers. Well, Whole back still spassing, Headache still here, shooting pain down leg still here... I think it is safe to say, THEY ARE NOT WORKING...
oh well, she said she had never felt such tight muscles in my whole back and sholders before. Like a rock I am.. But she said I am going to be on a long long road to no pain.. I guess that is a light at the end of the long long tunnel. I think.
But with you people here, you keep my spirts up so I don't just find a rock to crawl under and give up. Thank you all so much. Sorry this was so long
will keep you informed of my LONG LONG road.

Old 11-18-2008, 01:03 AM   #12
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Re: Really need to feel I'm not alone

Heya J. I just answered your other reply. As you can see you are not alone. Lets both hope for a day when we don't need docs. anymore. I just wish every pain doc. would have to feel spine/nerve pain just one day. As you know it is truly unbelievable. Keep posting! matt3507

Old 11-18-2008, 03:37 PM   #13
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Re: Really need to feel I'm not alone


You are not alone. That is horrible how they treated you. There is no excuse for it. I hope you can find someone else. My Dr. is great but I'm in New Jersey. My Dr. sees me once a month for chronic pain. He refills my meds in between. I get my refill every two weeks for the Oxycodone. Sometimes I have some left but I get the refill anyway. I put the extra in my pocketbook so I have them when I am out. Before that I would forget them and be in pain all day if not home. I don't think I am hoarding them. I think I just have the backup for when I am away from home. Also, what if the Dr. was not in when I needed the refill? I have an extra day or two for emergencies. My Dr. knows I am in alot of pain. I've done everything he has recommended. He told me he doesn't worry about me getting addicted. He said if I took them and had no pain then I have a problem. He has seen all the films and reports and knows I hurt. He gets his points across to me without ever raising his voice.

So there are good doctors out there.

I hope you find a better docter and feel better soon.

Old 04-18-2010, 01:53 PM   #14
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Re: Really need to feel I'm not alone

I wish I could help you. He sounds like pure evil. He obviously ignored the Hippocratic Oath, "First, do no harm...." I am praying that you find a decent doctor soon. Then you need to report this quack to the AMA.

Old 04-18-2010, 08:56 PM   #15
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Re: Really need to feel I'm not alone

I hate to play devil's advocate here but... How compliant are you with your doctor's directions?

I hate to say it but many of the threads, not necessarily the majority, but still a lot of threads, I see people asking for help, then rejecting all the advice that could prove to be what they really need, but the suggestions carry with them hard work and possibly more pain.

I'm 100% for supporting someone who is putting in the work and making the hard choices. But when I see those threads, where people are unreceptive and just looking for pity, they really anger me as they distract from threads of posters who really do want help.

So again playing devil's advocate, could their be something in your affect that is bring out this Mr. Hyde side of your doctor? He could be this way with all his patients, but having been a victim of emotional child abuse that caused me to have chronic depression from the time I was 13 until just 5 years ago... If your doctor is diagnosing untreated chronic depression based on child abuse, personally I would give a lot of thought about that diagnosis.

Chronic pain brings with it depression due to alienation from family and friends who can't relate... depression from feeling hopeless in finding a treatment that will alleviate your chronic pain especially when you go on for year without any solution in sight... going through procedure after procedure exhaustively...

Personally, my having overcome my 22 years of Chronic Depression gave me numerous coping mechanisms... So I don't feel hopeless despite 4 years and 9 months of chronic pain. If you have some larger demons looming due to being abuse as a child, it makes sense that you need to put them to rest, lest you run the risk of a major psychotic break under the stress of both your chronic pain and your untreated depression.

So even if this doctor is a complete ***... please get some help for depression, if you were abused as a child.

Psychological counseling is usually prescribed for chronic pain sufferers, even if there is no other need for counseling. The reasoning being the depression that comes hand-in-hand with chronic pain and learning coping mechanisms to reduce stress, which manifests as muscle tension, which in turn increases the pain.

Please give some thought to my post and check out my blogs... maybe you might see something in them that you see in yourself.

With the deepest concern & caring,


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