hello everyone this is the first time I have posted anything about myself on the net.....I have two herniated disks along with other disks that have bulging issues and bad knees.....my lower back always hurts along with my left knee....I am only 27 yrs old and I have been having back problems for 10 yrs now...I don't know why I didn't take care of my back years ago I guess it was fear that I was dealing with a life long problem which I am now faced with....So I started first stealing my dads pain meds.....he has degenerative disk disease.....then I moved on to heroin...I was upfront with my doc (not at first but after a few months I owned up to it) I am now on 2 8mg suboxen a day which is plenty to keep my withdrawals at bay but my pain is to much to be taken care of by that alone.....but now since I said the H word and my tolorence is so hi No one will prescribe me anything and so I have been suffering for months....I am off heroin cause I moved away from so cal to austin tx and I don't want to go back to spending money and hurting every four hours....I don't know what to do.....I am seeing a PM doc and will get injections tomorrow for the second time....The first time hasn't done anything that I can tell....anyone got any advice?
P.S. I have taken pain pills and don't need to abuse them aka (snort/inject) I just have to take to many something like 300mg of oxy a day is what I need.....I never injected the H btw and I really don't feel like an addict if you met me you would never know, I don't look like that....when I have enough pain meds that is when I can do what I need to do for myself and my new wife....and I am going to therapy for the mental addiction and I would stop if i wasn't in constant pain....I am so screwed I feel the only thing i can do is go back to the street.....I have also tried just about every opioid out there with oxy having the best result...I don't want to take other things like benzos or soma's I don't like how sleepy those make me
Hi Reed, You may have better luck on the adiction board, Certainly their are other addicts that have pain issues and their advice will cetainly be more suited to your situation. Honesty is the best policy but you have to be honest about everything.
I know enough about addiction to know that there is no difference between injecting, snorting or smoking H,meth or any other drug. I have a dead brother, a dead uncle, a dead grandfather and a father in recovery. If your still trying to minimize your heroin use it by saying I never injected it and dont look like a street jumkie than it sounds like you still have issues to deal with and any doc that deals with meds with the addictive nature of 300 mgs of oxy a day also knows it doesn't make a difference if you snort smoke or inject. An addict is an addict is an addict no matter what bow you wrap around it or how functional you are as long as you have your drug of choice.
Dont get me wrong, I dont believe someone should suffer because of their past, but when you do find a doc willing to help, expect to take UA's , Only get weekly supplies, have pill counts every week or month and sign a contract so that you know the minute you screw up and use some exceuse he;'s already heard a thousand times like they fell in the sink, my dog ate them, a rooom mate stole them it doesn't matter. The bottom line is you are responsable for your meds. My doc doesn't replace lost or stolen meds, Anyone can call the police and say someone broke in and stole my meds. IT actually happened to me, My bnext door neighbor got me and took half mymeds along with a couple credit cardds. I knew what the answer would be if I called my doc so i sucked it up for a couple sweeks and reduced my dose. Then I bought a floor safe and installed an alarm and monitoring sytem so no junkie ever got me again.
Someone in enough pain will jump through any hoop they have to to manage that pain, otherwise your letting your addictiion set the rules and you can always justify taking an extra pill or suplemetning with what you find on the street.
I have to flollow all those rules, they do random UA's at least twice a year, they do pill counts at every apt. I went through 3 spinal surgeries over a 6 year period the last was a 6 level fusion of my entire lumbar spine that failed and left me bed wridden for a year before I was offered long acting painmeds. We have an amazing ability to endure a tremedous amount ofpain. I have broken 3 sets of hardware and had my firstheart attack from the high BP caused by pain before I was offered treatment with no personal history of addiction or abuse, but I still have to play by the rules or I will be dismissd and my pump will be turned off.
I am in enough pain that I do play by the rules. In any PM docs mind, if your in that much pain you will jump through every hoop set in front of you if the potential to reduce your pain is their and if the doc suggest you try acupuncture you will try avupuncture to supplement the suboxone. The only meds I recieved for 7 years during those surgeries were 6-10 weeks post op. I never turned to heroin, I went to pain clinic after pain clinic trying anything and everything they suggested would help with my pain. Only through trial and failure of very non opuate method you can name was I given the meds and eventually the pump that I have now.
I did the injections, learned bio feedback, self hypnosis, guided imagry had nerves burned and blocked and epidurals, botox, trigger point injections. Anything and everything my docs suggested. My willingness to try anything is what justifies my present med use now. If the DEA ever asks my docs how can I be on this dose of medication, He has 18 years of alternative therapies, treatments and failed surgeries documanted to show them.
Dont expect to find immediate relief. Your back may be so bad that no amount of medication will allow you to work with concrete or do carpet work or any tyoe of job that is particularly bad for a bad back or simply allow you to stand on your feet 40 hours week. That's what I live with. If a doctor said it would help, I tried it. If you go into pain management telling the doc what dose you need and what med you want you wont find someone to help you other than a quack that is already on the DEA's radar.
If you have found humility in your quest for sobriety then you wont go into a docs office thinking you know more than he does about treating your pain. If you haven't tried it, try it and you may find that adjunct methods combined with the suboxone or some other med, just like this doc is trying now with the injections, may be enough. You don't know what you need. I have a contract with my PM doc, I do randonme UA's twice a year, They do a pill count at every apt, their is no such thing as an early refill for any excuse. All of which I have no problem complyng with beause my pain is that severe.
Their is a history of adiction in my family and i know that without rules and the ability to self medicate it's tough to determine when enough reief is enough. You have to turn that over to the doc. You may never get 300 mgs of oxy a day, but you can and will be offfered other options and tools to manage your pain. I'm disabled by pain and Heroin wouldn't allow me to return to work, no amount of pain med would mask the amount of pain I still have to live with even with an implanted pump that deliivers dilaudid to my spine. The goal ofpain anagementis just that, tomanage, not toeliminate sothat your not inconviencd and have to change jobs or restrict your workload. If your in enough pain to need that kind of dose, you will still have to learn to live with some degree of pain and even more on bad days. How you act on those bad days will determmine if you traetment continues
Something like an implanted pump you can't tamper with may be the right device once they have ruled out every other option and show that you are willing to do anything they suggest and will remain completely compliant even when you have your worst pain days. I have never abused any med or substance or taken more than prescribed, becaue I know the conswequences if I break the rules as laid out in a pain management contract.
I also know Texas has one of the best indegent healthcare programs in the country. I had an uncle that became disabled by Crohns disease, lost his job in VA and moved to Texas less than 8 months ago to become part of a pool of patients with pre-existing conditions that would otherwise be uninsurable. In order to aford the thousands in meds it costs to manage chrohns every month. Oxycontin isn't cheap, even when obtained legitimatly. So you need tolook into that health pcare program so that you can afford the injections, the counseling and possibly surgery to correct. If their is an easu solution, why would theylet an addict choose not tohave a disc trimmed to be out of pain because he wants 300mgs of oxy a day. How are you going topay for that prescription, it would cost between 800 and a thousand a month if you went to a pharamcy and paid cash. Pain managemetn is trial and error, if it's walking into a doc n the box that wont be their in 3 months, your not doing anything diffeent than before. Just because a doc prescribes it doesn't mean you can't become addicted, wont sell it for money or abuse it. Soif your serious, Then go to themajor universitieies and find the best PM docs and surgeons and find out what all your options are. If you can tolerate the sickness of withdrawal, you can tolerate whatever it takes to get to where you need to be, whether it takes 3 months or 3 years. Just knowng their is light at the end of the tunnell if you jump through all the hoops is more than some people have had to live with. OxyC has only beed around for 14 years. Prior to that it was antidepresants, PT and relaxation techniques for everyone but the terminally ill.
If you look for a quick fix, Some quack that prescribes to anyone that complains" rather than see this as tryng to find a lifetime soluton to lifelong problem, which you dont know it will be if you havem't tried surgery to correct your problem, you will end up right back where you were.
Start with the insurance issue. Otherwise you wont be able to fill that script for 300 mgs of oxy a day.
Thank you for replying I really appreciate it, First off I know you are 100% right that their isn't a difference between a smoker or an IV user an addict is an addict and I know that....I really didn't turn to heroin in the first place because of the pain.....I was really just hanging out with the wrong crowd.....I kept using because of the pain and how I was able to do normal things without the normal pain.... I thought the daily pain I went through was "normal" I am not sure why I thought everyone dealt with it but I did....and my pain is not a 10 all the time it is mainly a 4, a 10 about once a week....depending on what I do......... and if I had to deal with it for a few weeks or months while I was healing I wouldn't really need pain pills but when I haven't been able to sit or stand comfortably for years and years with out pain meds it gets mentally tiring as everyone knows that has these problems.....when I started taking pain meds on a regular basis I was only 20 then on and off for the next 7 years going a year plus with nothing and I was miserable.....I ended up smoking weed and drinking heavily so I could sleep and sit and watch tv....but now I don't like weed any more or boo's I really don't like any other drugs but opiates because they seem to make my life normal
Another thing is that since I was young and only had pain half the time due to self medicating no doctors I went to thought it was a serious problem which I should have balked at and insisted I get an MRI but I was afraid of what the answer would be since I have grown up seeing my dad become more and more debilitated from neck problems.........I will definitely do everything the docs tell me and I hope that I will be able to pay for it....right now I have insurance 400 bucks a month which my folks are paying for.....but I went for about 5-6 months without any insurance and in that time I am now in debt for about 12 grand.....Its been almost a year since I used the H last and after all the money I have spent since then on non-opiate pain treatments and all the docs I have seen its a wonder why they wonder why I turned to the street for relief....but when it comes down to it I want this fixed above everything else and I don't really think that I will ever get 300mg a day of oxy I just wanted to let people know what my tolerance was.....I don't know if I am using this forum for advice, although I will take any advice seriously and if possible try to use it, or just to share I have been so depressed and just can't really see a light at the end of the tunnel I feel like I am going to do what the docs say for years then get surgery making it worse and then end up worse off than I am now.....I feel lost I am only 27 and a life long opiate addiction is enough to deal with.....I don't know how I can go through shots and surgery and everything else that will go along with it all without relief which is the hole I dug for myself......Also I am having a very difficult time getting a PM doc right now I am seeing a guy that I don't really like, I feel like just another person to INJECT.....I will be truthful and upfront with any doc I see, I simply have to be in order to be treated.....but I have found a lot of PM's won't even see some one that is an addict....if anyone knows a PM in Austin TX that is GREAT Please let me know.....I will do anything they require from me....I have become desperate I can't work right now and am out of options
First off, all good advice given but I thought I would point out one item I know of first hand. So, on my most recent doc visit/oxy refill, I hit a snag. Since I saw my doctor after three weeks and not the usual four (I should have seen him on 12/29 but their office is closed that week). So on 12/1 he gave me a script for a 3-week period or 90 pils (not the usual 4-week, 120 pills). So, I show up at the pharmacy now trying to fill my script for 120 pills but Aetna's policy now says, up 120 pill limit in a 30-day window and I was violating that rule. I started to scramble, freak out etc. I was out of medicine at this point and could not walk out of the pharmacy with no medicine. The pharmacy would only fill 30 pills on that day, so the 120 pill script would lose the other 90 pills.
So, during all this confusion I asked the doctor what I would have to pay out-of-pocket to outright buy the medicine. Not to mention, I wouldn't get what amounts to as "Aetna's discount" in trying to buy this medicine that day. He told me it would cost $1,946 to buy. That, my friend, was not doable in any manner at all! So, what I ended up doing was filling the script for the 30 pills and thankfully the doctor was willing the following morning to write a script dated one week later for 120 pills. I had to bring in the bottle I got and the bag with all the refill info on it. I was told by Aetna that this would work.
What a major pain in the butt. I realize as a pain patient taking the level of medicine I do that sometimes life can be difficult but that was one seriously rough day. Not to mention the fact that I have had neck pain so bad the past two days, I haven't been able to sleep very well. I had to move to the couch last night to sleep on a heating pad and I ended up finally falling asleep but I woke up drenched with sweat! It had felt like I was being hit by a baseball bat every 2-3 seconds in the back of my neck (throbbing pain). Makes it a little difficult to fall asleep.
Anyway, I got a little carried away in letting you know how much this stuff really costs. I wish all of us CP sufferers a better day tomorrow than today!
Ya I realize how much it costs I was actually prescribed oxy's for a while but the script I was given wasn't even close to being enough and I didn't want to tell my doc how much I really needed because it was so much....I have insurance because I got a job which I got laid off from....I got laid off because I took to many days off because of my back.....My boss didn't fire me though...He told me that when I was there and working that I was one of the best that he ever had...I am a mechanic....but that I got laid off rather than the other guy because he didn't think I was reliable enough and I think he was right, there are just some days when I didn't have any pain meds and I was in to much pain to be standing or crawling on a concrete floor all day.....any way I ended up getting cobra which my parents are paying for.....I had the same issue that you had twice when I had the script....I finally broke down and went to the ER and spilled my guts.....I just couldn't handle it anymore....so my doc found out about my addiction and my past and said he would only prescribe suboxen which is GREAT if all I had to worry about was my addiction but it does almost nothing for my pain.....I know I am just telling you guys about my past but it is nice to type it and let others know what I am going through I am a very closed of person and really don't tell anyone, even close people about anything serious in my life...I have a lot of people I know and talk to but very few close friends.....I even find it hard to talk to my wife about these issues......I hope one day when I am a bit wiser to help people that have to deal with these same things....but right now I know I am the one that needs help.....I hope everyone had a great x-mas and a happy new year
P.S. I know now that I have to be honest with anyone that tries to help me its the only way to get the best help.....would you guys and gals agree with that?
I feel for you. I can totally understand the position that you are in. I never got to the point of taking Heroin. However, I started with severe back pain at a very young age and by the time I was 18 my pain doc was prescribing me Oxycontin. After it was all said and done I ended up addicted to pain medication. The only way I was able to treat my pain and addiction was to go to MMT. There I was primarily treated for my addiction BUT at the same time I was given Methadone and it also treated my pain. I attended the clinic for a couple of years and did very well. I got to the point where the doctors at the clinic and my doctors at Kaiser felt like I could have my chronic pain treated through my pain management doctor and primary doctor. It's been two years since I left that clinic and I have been able to get a monthly refill of Methadone from my doctor. I have been fully cooperative with the pain management contract I have with my doctor. I do go through random UA's every few months and never ask for early refills. I can honestly say I am a success story and I believe you can do the same. Feel free to message me if you have more questions.