I have been told at least 7 times in the last week that I am co-dependent.
I KNOW that I am co-dependent. I don't think being co-dependent is ALL BAD. I can see co-dependency being bad when it is UNHEALTHY. But, I think that some of my co-dpendency makes me feel good.
I don't understand what is so wrong with wanting or needing other people to help build my self-esteem or to give me compliments to make me feel better if I am down. Or what is wrong with wanting to be with someone....if being with someone makes you happy? If I say I haven't been with my boyfriend for 2 weekends in a row....and I am getting SAD....people say I'm co-dependent...OK! Than I'm co-dependent. I told my boyfriend sometimes I need a little push to have incentive to do something and then once I do it...I realize I enjoy it....people call that co-dependency. If my kids are in pain or in harms way...I react with depression and can't live my life until I find a way to help them - co-dependency....NO...I just have a mothers love for my kids and want them to be ok. GEEZ. I understand this is a real term "co-dependency" and from other peoples prespective, I am HUGELY co-dependent. It just cracks me up that there is a word for everything. How about that is just the type of person I am?
Oh..and I'm co-dependent on these boards and other boards....i post my problems and i depend on others to put their two cents in so that I can evaluate when I am being rationale vs. irrationale...so if I'm co-dependent for posting on the boards...than there are a MILLION co-dependent people in the world...with me.
You said it yourself, co-dependency is bad when it's unhealthy, only then it'll be bad for you and you won't feel comfortable.
We are social beings and it's only natural that we're co-dependent to a certain healthy level. Even those people who say they're lone wolves need somebody to be close to them.
Co-dependency - the whole marriage system is built on the idea of co-dependency. To challenge co-dependency is to challenge marriage and other committed relationships between two people.
Singleness, independence, self-orientation are supposedly healthier, better life choices. I don't think so - those characteristics lead to loneliness at the very least and to sociopathy at worst.
I want to take care of people and I want them to take care of me. There is nothing wrong with that. It is healthy. The Co-dependency Movement has got it wrong.
Oh - and don't anyone "hug" me. It is fake psychobabble to say you can hug me - you can't because you are on the other side of the planet. It is also horrible "touchy-feely" thinking which gets in the way of real emotion and honest feelings. It is the psychobabblers equivalent of the Hollywood air kiss - insincere and unwelcome.
Last edited by Adam Kadmon; 06-28-2011 at 04:53 AM.
Reason: Saw the horrid little "hug-o-meter" on the side and had to comment.