new guy needs help
I can't believe how time flies .
In the past 2 weeks I attended 2 coda meetings, and the information I took home with me through people's own experiences has been helpful but I feel I need more help.
I havent admitted the full truth about my codependency's
I feel I am in hell. I probabally crossed many lines. I have develope close loving feelings to a room mate and it became sexual.
I wanted more, but the other person did not, and even asked me if I was ok with doing this stating he wasn't relationship oriented at the time in their life.
This person suffers from Ptsa and I just give a dam about them. They have made some irresponsible choices in the past and I spend a majority of my time trying to prevent him from making bad choices.
I did express my feelings toward him but have felt so inadequate with myself since then. We have a bond like any true friendship would. I want more, I give a dam for his well being. I bought most of this out in the open with him and he felt it was best to stop our sexual relations as well.
During this time I all my other wounds have bled out of me. I have issues with how people precieve me in social circles. I constantly compare myself to others. My anxiety level in the mornings when I wake are at high levels.
I see a therapist, a psychiatrist who treats me for ADHD.
I dont seem to shake this well and it has affected my other friendships. This has got a grip on me where I need to let go but its so hard to step out of my safety zone and go and do things with others. I just want to be near the person I care about.
I also have jelousy & insecurity issues when this person branches out and socializes with other people besides myself.
I just wont give my head a rest and learn to let go. There is one coda meeting a I fully comfortable (gay and lesbian friendly ) than others. I just wish they met more than once a week.
Its difficult to concentrate on my work when I am away from home and its been difficult to work on myself.
I think I have said enough
I would like some positve input here. I am also seeking a good psychiatrist that is more familar with adult adhd.
I am not sure if talking to a psychologist vs a therapist is bettor or not ??