Re: I'm Co Dependant - I Want To Change
I've just come to the conclusion that I might be codependent as well. I found a wiki article on it and discovered that I may have self-esteem and avoidance issues. It sounds like you put other people before your own needs. Do you feel that you have to please people for them to like you? Or do you get joy out of helping people? I'm not a professional in this but I'll try to make a suggestion. You have to take care of yourself first. If you enjoy helping people out you can volunteer at an organization that helps needy people or you can become a mentor. Something along those lines. When it comes to helping people you know personally remember that you can't help them if you don't help yourself first. Do you find it scary saying no to someone? I know that it can seem like if you say no they might get mad and that can be a worrying thought. Just remember that if they get mad they are not respecting you. You can calmly tell them you would love to help them out, but right now you have to take care of something for yourself first. If they need help later on and you don't feel as if you are forced to do it then help them out then.
My issues have to do with me not asserting myself and not letting people know when I want something. It makes me very anxious and depressed. So I'm working on that too. The one thing I have to remember is if someone gets mad at me or rejects me at least I said my mind and took steps to take care of myself. It is not easy to deal with anger or rejection, but it also incredibly hard to deal with worry and anxiety. We all have a right to be happy and to have peace of mind. Working on this stuff isn't easy, but it will lead to a healthier and happier you.
"Don't get offended, If I seem absent minded, I get tongue-tied, Baby, you've got to be more demanding, I will be yours"
Bloc Party, Modern Love
Last edited by MsConfused; 05-24-2011 at 01:42 AM.