Hi guys I am new here hence my first post. I am really needing to clear my head and figure out where things stand. My sister admitted tonight she's addicted to Vicodin and I'm sure other drugs. I didn't handle it well at all. To make a long story short my stepdad was also addicted to Vicodin, Ultram etc for about 10yrs due to chronic pain and was killed in a single car accident 5 yrs ago. My mom and I went through alot with him and have many many regrets on how things were handled. I'm terrified it's happening all over again.
My sister is from my dad and step mom...She's 27yrs old and a mother to an almost 2 yr old. She has been arrested numerous times for theft and drugs over the past 8yrs. Due to all of this she has a hard time getting a job and basically lives off my dad/stepmom. She's been clean or at least keeping it low key for a few yrs now until recently. She's been begging Vicodin off everyone she can think of and even hitting up me for my hubby's Rx.
Two weeks ago she was arrested for stealing while the baby was with her. This was the second time in less than a year she was caught stealing and having the baby with her both times. This time I lost it with her I'm afraid. I threw a fit and chewed her out and while doing so brought up the Vicodin and how she's been asking everyone for it. She'd asked me for it that day and I turned her down. I told her to never ask me again or I'd have to go to our dad/stepmom because she lives with them and they support her financially and with the baby. Well Friday night somehow she busted her mouth open on a car door and ended up with 2 stitches. Guess who calls me 1st thing Saturday morning crying and begging for meds!
It kills me every time I see her phone number on my phone because I know she's going to ask for meds. We lost our brother 5 yrs ago and since then I've let her walk all over me because I didn't want to lose her too.
Tonight my sis and I got into it again due to family interference and everything came out. Her addiction, my anger etc. now she's really upset because she feels like the one person who was there to support her is gone (me). I hate it but I just can't watch this again. I know she needs support but I don't know how to do this again.
Any ideas? If you've been through something similar what works best? She is starting counseling tomorrow (court ordered) with an out patient drug center. I honestly don't think she'd be going if it wasn't court ordered. Also my dad/stepmom are threatening taking the baby away from her if things don't change.
I do agree that loosing her daughter is probably going to be what makes her wake up or at least I hope that. Knowing her she will just use that as another excuse as to why she does this. I know my dad/stepmom don't want to raise the baby which is why they just keep using it as a threat but maybe it's time they do it. Harsh I know but I am really worried.
You can't force anyone to change if they don't want to. They will have to face the consequences of the choices they've made in life, just as the rest of us do. I would look into support groups such as ToughLove and NA (Narcotic Anonymous). Those with the addiction aren't going to be concerned with your well being nor the stress this is causing you. It's important for you to look out for yourself because you can't help your sister or her child if you aren't in the shape to do so.
Hang in there. I am a firm believer in ToughLove and it's worked for me.
I never meant to become an opiate addict until my drs kept prescribing them for my back pain. The only way I could get off is to go to a methadone clinic. Call Operation Par. See if there is one in your area. It saved my life. I never could get off them myself. I tried and tried.
I've seen people take thier lives or try worse drugs. I never knew this organization was out there. There is also a drug called suboxone. I hopefully will never do pills again. I'm a mother of three and have serious back issues.
Just an FYI that people need to know, when you go to Suboxone or Methadone to quit narcotics, you're just trading one addiction for another. Both Suboxone and Methadone are highly addictive and when you've been on those for a while, which it will take, you'll just have to detox from them.
Unfortunately I've been through the addiction process before with my stepdad which one of the reasons I'm freaking out about my sister. My stepdad was addicted to vicotin, ultram, ultraset etc due to hip problems and bad replacement at the age of 35. He/we begged his doctor for other meds and several times met with them about his addictions but they would stop for a couple months then go back to the same meds. After 10 yrs of pure hell my step dad couldn't sleep, got fired from work, couldn't work because he was so messed up. Finally in 2006 he fell asleep driving after taking vicotin, ambien and drinking and was killed after his truck hit a tree. My family went through so much during the addiction and after his death. I am terrified my sister is headed down the same path.
At the moment she is no longer speaking to me because I fessed up and told her mom everything.