It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Codependency Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-14-2011, 12:13 PM   #1
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: united states
Posts: 431
Will I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB User
Unhappy I Don't Know How to Do This

I don't know where to begin. I'm sitting at my computer hysterically crying b/c I'm so afraid. I'm so afraid I'm going to lose my family. A previous message was moved to this board. It's only been 24 hours that I've had this term "CoDependency" in my brain. I'm going on vacation tomorrow and I have so many emotions towards my family. I have so much concern and fear for my brother. He's never been settled and most of his life is all over the place. Only this summer has it really hit me how much of my life has been controlled by him and his moods...including my mom and dad. I'm trying to put my foot down and not get involved with things that don't involve me yet it's all I'm used to. He's very self-centered and his main concern is himself and he throws a fit when things don't go his way. He's dependent on girls in the sense of he can't be alone. He's always in a "relationship." He needs to have that void filled. He lives a fast paced life...I'm afraid to know how he really lives his life. He runs through money and expects others to help. My parents (especially my mom) has enabled him. When I put my foot down at the beginning of the summer, he had a fit. I poured my heart out in an email which he hasn't addressed. I think he's incapable. I'm TERRIFIED he's going to die, either on purpose or accident. We were going to try to have a family dinner today but he obviously got into an argument with his current female friend so now he's not coming. Mom is yelling at dad. Dad is yelling at mom. How do I do this anymore? I can't take the pain anymore. This codependency makes sense but I don't know how to move forward. I've been in therapy for years with many different therapists. My current has been the best, hence all the progress I'm beginning to make with changing my role in the family. But how do I get to the acceptance of my family? I don't want to lose them yet I can't be this person anymore. PLEASE HELP!!!

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 09-09-2011, 02:25 AM   #2
Facilitator
(male)
 
Phoenix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,852
Blog Entries: 33
Phoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB User
Re: I Don't Know How to Do This

Quote:
Originally Posted by Will I Be Happy View Post
I've been in therapy for years with many different therapists. My current has been the best, hence all the progress I'm beginning to make with changing my role in the family. But how do I get to the acceptance of my family? I don't want to lose them yet I can't be this person anymore. PLEASE HELP!!!
Hello WIBH,

Thank goodness that you have met a therapist that you seems to be the right fit for you.

Once your role changes in the family dynamic,it will be for the members to either accept or reject your placement.

Many people don't like change and if acceptance is welcomed,realize it will be a gradual process.

It's not selfish to put yourself first,when you feel pressured.

You have found the strength to do something about it.....

Please try not to lose sight of your main objective.

Respectfully
Phoenix
__________________
When in doubt, post it out.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Moving Forward...Baby Steps Will I Be Happy Codependency 7 08-13-2011 01:52 PM
20yo son now using pot, LSD, drinking, huffing?, etc. fritos Codependency 21 07-27-2011 08:59 PM
Why do men leave me for other women tattoogirly Codependency 68 07-18-2011 01:44 PM
(first post). Just got home from dropping husband at rehab... Mandagrl1 Codependency 9 06-18-2011 08:05 AM
Isn't it bad enough already? Living with Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde... ForeverAgain Codependency 6 06-11-2011 09:15 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



rosequartz (4), Seraph (4), writeleft (2), renko (2), jillian4 (1), melliegirl (1), Ren1021 (1), bruxister (1), captjane (1), lenvegas (1)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1005), Apollo123 (905), Titchou (848), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (754), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:39 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!