Originally Posted by cosmicpixie
I was with my bf for almost 10 and a half years (I'm 29).
Suddenly in May, his brother was rushed to hospital with severe chicken pox / pneumonia and had to be placed into a medically induced coma. The day after this happened, his mum died suddenly of a heart attack.
I can read his online blog and see that he so wants to be with this other girl so badly and that hurts so bad. I wish he had just been honest - I would have been devastated, but better that than be lied to.
Any advice would be appreciated on how to fully get over this - been 3 and a half weeks now so I am getting there. What hurts is how he tossed away 10 years aside of pure love and devotion from me to have....what? I am trying to think that his mum dying flicked a switch that made him look at me and see how close I was to her and how badly he didn't want to be reminded of what had happened. This other girl was not involved at all.
Any advice or words would be gladly welcomed at this time.-(
Unfortunately no one knows how a person will react when it comes to the death of a family member.Add the brother's situation into the scenario and it could make for an extremely difficult time.
You may remind him of his mother and he may be in a lot of pain.he is in a vulnerable state at this point and i'm not surprised that he gravitated towards the next person that showed him any attention(it happened to me).
Don't feel as if you never mattered;his feelings are mangled and by the time he decides to cease swimming in his "sea of denial" the damage,which may be irreparable at this point,will already be done.
This o.p.(other person) represents a distraction from what he needs to work on and until he sees that,it will be nearly impossible to reach him(from a metaphoric standpoint).
I also realize that you are hurting and I want you to know that we are here for you and will continue to be.The years of emotional investment......
One can say i've been on both sides of the fence,when it comes to reactions towards death and the aftermath of its' survivors.
I hate to use the cliche but know that it wasn't you;it is