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Old 10-11-2011, 10:47 AM   #1
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Voltaire13 HB User
Unhappy Don't know how to change my thoughts

Hi,
I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD.

I have started dating again after a divorce and met a guy I really like... Anyway we dated for a month and a half... It was magical. We are not dating anymore because I told him my husband gave me herpes... I told him because we were getting to the point where we might hVe sex. I wanted to be honest because my husband wasn't honest with me and it hurt. Well anyway he told me in an email that he could deal with the herpes but he was thinking that he was having a hard time dealing with the fact that I was already married and have a kid . He said he might be selfish but he wants a chance at a normal sequence of events... Marrying someone who has never been married before and does not have kids. He is 45 years old. He knew I had a child and was divorced... Why did he even date me to begin with? I think the herpes WAS the reason he wanted to stop dating me. Anyway I feel extremely bad and I feel bad because I can't stop thinking about the good times. He told me I'm lovely intelligent and smart and a good mom.... I feel like I can't get him out of my mind and can't get over this even though I only knew him for a couple months! I must be so needy and codependent. He sent me an email yesterday because my football team lost., just being nice... But I am already reading way too much into the email.., should I just not respond to his emails? Would I be able to handle just being friends?... Probably not... But I should be able to do so.. I font know what's right and wrong anymore and I feel like a failure. Any insights or suggestions?

 
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Old 04-11-2012, 02:00 PM   #2
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Re: Don't know how to change my thoughts

I don't think this is codependency. You just fell out of love. Give yourself some time to distract yourself from him. Pay more attention to the kid and etc. He is still nice to you but he has told you he does not want to see you. Well I believe that he did that becuase of this herp thing. But I hope you will find someone who does not mind that one day.
Maybe you should work on your own ADHD issue. It is normal to get upset over this for a while. Try to move on and do other things. Try to forget him.
Hope you are better now in April. You are not a failure - your husband gave you herps so it is not your fault. You are brave that you left your husband. It helps if you can find some friends or family for support.

Hugs,
Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 04-11-2012 at 02:01 PM.

 
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