ughhhh my first post was lost now I need to rewrite it
I am an addict and alcoholic in recovery for 6.5 years. once I cleaned up I realized I still have a large hole that I have beem using codependant behavior to fill. I have always been co dependant... but the symptoms are becoming more evident and effecting my life more than drugs and alcohol.. I have moved on in life recently married to a woman who I dont love. ( I dont think i love her) My story is long.... its hard because feelings get confusing....the paradoxal effect of codependency...overextending myself at work and home has been crippling and I am stuck. Stuck, stuck. I dont know how to change, for I am fearful...I dont know who I am, or what I want, I AM LOST>>>>>LOST!!!!....I have recently began attending coda meetings and reading literature but still I which someone could make the desicions for me because I feel incapable....really stuck.
I hope this posts...because if I lose it again...arghhhhhhhh!
