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Old 01-06-2012, 10:22 AM   #1
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Question Beginning of codependency?

I don't recall ever being in trouble with either parent until I was caught smoking and playing poker with other kids at fourteen years old. I still remember how guilty I felt because my mother caught me. That incident has stuck in my mind since. I know I was a pretty happy and independent kid prior to that situation. If that circumstance was what initiated my codependent state, how do I resolve those feelings and get back to being a happy kid?

 
Old 04-09-2012, 11:11 AM   #2
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Re: Beginning of codependency?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bruxister View Post
I don't recall ever being in trouble with either parent until I was caught smoking and playing poker with other kids at fourteen years old. I still remember how guilty I felt because my mother caught me. That incident has stuck in my mind since. I know I was a pretty happy and independent kid prior to that situation. If that circumstance was what initiated my codependent state, how do I resolve those feelings and get back to being a happy kid?
I am not sure what is your codependent state. A parent can always blame the kid for doing the wrong thing. Nothing is special or unique about it. Maybe she was mean? You feel guilty that you are caught so you won't do it again. Forget this incident and forgive Mom if she was mean and move on. It is not codependence if you are talking about "listening to Mom" or don't do it for Mom. You are doing it for you - don't smoke and play poker as a kid is usually a normal rule for a family. You can do all you want after you grow up - certainly do the healthy stuff for sure.

It is not about independence or codependence. If you did something Mom does not like, she can tell you off as it is her rule if you live with her.
This is part of normal growup time when parents try to discipline the child.
Right or wrong, you learn from it and try to do better next time. That is all.

Take care,
Nina

Last edited by ninamarc; 04-09-2012 at 11:19 AM.

 
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