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stasis4 · 01-24-2012, 12:33 PM

I am trying to figure out if there's a way for me to help my sister. She's much older and she seems like she's gotten real stuck in her ways. Every time I visit though, I can't help feel how she overcompensates so much for her spouse's drinking problem. And not just that, she covers for him. I feel this is codependency and it is taking a toll on her. Yet I don't think she listens when I try to talk to her about it as I only do so out of my care for her. I don't know how these two might be helped?

ninamarc · 04-10-2012, 02:47 PM

It is nice of you to help your sister. However, since she denies it, you can only offer her info. Try to tell her to go to AA for alcoholics. The supporter/family can benefit a lot from the AA meeting as well. Also when the husband drinks a lot, that means there are some emotional issue -10% of the problem/root issues. It is also hard to control drinking. If you take a photo of the drunken person and show him what he looks like when he is "bad", he may wake up and see what is wrong with him.
Let AA meetings help her and her husband. I hope this will do the tricks. Sister does not have to accept the fact but all she needs is to check out AA meetings.

Regards,
Nina

stasis4 · 04-10-2012, 04:45 PM

You are right about my in-law having some unresolved hurts, I just never thought things would get to be like this. He'll just sit down and drink with a few buddies who he has found for this. Some other relatives also want to join in in trying to help these two out of their rut. Thanks for the advice.

stasis4 · 05-23-2012, 02:31 PM

I'll maybe try suggest AA advice, thankyou

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