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Will I Be Happy 12-24-2012 07:22 PM

My Brother... again
 
I'm convinced he is bipolar. Things were ok for a while. We live in a world full of tragedy. It's Christmas Eve and my brother is throwing a fit. He was in a mood last weekend and snapped out of it. He was fine earlier today but is now pulling the nonsense of wanting nothing to do with Xmas. "I'm done with all of this!" As I've previously said I think he's lonely and depressed and has no clue how to deal with his feelings. We already know I'm codependent. When this started earlier today, I said my piece to him. Then I made the decision to not play the game anymore. I'm spending the night at moms and have watched her go back and forth with him. I'm trying so hard to stay out of it but my anxiety is thru the roof. Just needed to vent.

writeleft 12-24-2012 08:38 PM

Re: My Brother....again
 
I completely understand! I have live my entire life in the shadow of my sisters vile moods, temper tantrums and explosive behavior. She would always act up in the worst times, holidays, when guests were present, in public. No matter how hard myself, my poor mother and dad tried, she could deflate any event into a mess in seconds.

I went through it for 51 years, and finally it is over! It took tragic circumstances to finally split us forever, but I must say, this is the first holiday that I feel completely relaxed and free of that "what if" feeling.

Life is too short to accommodate people in your life that are willing to be so disruptive and rude to everyone else. But what do we do with these sisters and brothers that many families have?

Glad you chose to vent your feelings, that can be a great way to clear your frustrations without saying anything you regret. Another great feature of the HealthBoards, right?

Janet

Will I Be Happy 12-25-2012 04:22 AM

Re: My Brother....again
 
Thank you for your reply. Here it is Christmas morning. I'm laying in my old bedroom. My parents are still asleep. My brother isn't here. I truly feel he is unhappy with his life and can't take the steps to help himself. He knows deep down he needs therapy but is too scared....I believe. I feel so sad. I get so mad when he tries to twist stories around. He used to explode more often when things weren't how he wanted. It's not as often but I feel the air sucked out of the room when it happens. My mom is the main culprit because she never put him in his place. This all stems from her childhood. It's a vicious cycle. I go to therapy every week. Last night, while we were texting I tried to talk sense ino him but then stopped. I said he could do whatever he wanted because I wasn't doing the back and forth. I always fear tragedy. If that happens, my family of 4 (no extended) will be destroyed.

writeleft 12-26-2012 02:46 PM

Re: My Brother... again
 
I understand...Our family all sought therapy just to deal with her mental illness, while she was happy to just keep her head in the sand and refuse to accept she needed help. That is the part that really irks me. We talked until we were blue in the face with her, all to no avail.

I understand both diagnosis and treatment are impossible without some recognition of her deep seated issues. I believe her treatment of my parents robbed them of so many years of peace and relaxation that they deserved more than anyone. When they both passed away in a tragic way this time last year, that was the end of our family. She did not even come near me at the funeral or interact with the family. That was the last I ever saw of her, and honestly, that is fine with me. Forgive me for sounding so crass, but enough is enough at some point. I had reached mine.

We are all responsible for our own actions, especially once we reach adulthood. At that point, I think it also up to us to protect ourselves from negative influences on our lives. No one wants to shun a family member, but perhaps that kind of treatment will be more helpful to both parties, rather than just continuing to let it keep happening.

Of course, I do not know you or your family, but I know ours let my sister and her antics go way to far. It is one thing to help another in need, and another to allow someone to walk all over us instead of doing the work to get better.

I wish you well,


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