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Old 12-30-2012, 08:02 AM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: westchester
Posts: 3
Bellev2007 HB User
Cheating Boyfriend and Letting go

Where do I begin>>>Started a relationship with a man about year in half ago. first 6 months he said his ex was still living at house cause she had lease he could not throw her out she had no where to go with her child>>>He said relationship was completley over and that she was crazy and abusive and that she would be leaving in Sept..She does leave in sept and goes to florida...October comes we make it official we are in an relationship...near the middle of october he calls and says she showed up on door step with restraining order and lease and he had no choice he had to let her back in...I didnt know anything diffrent he showed me a paper she noterized that she will leave by the end of school year cause she didnt want to take child out of school.She would threaten with restraing order would beat up on him and called police...He ended up staying with me for about a month on and off...He would go back and forth because his daughter lived there...In feb he comes to my house all brused and bloody she attacked him...He calls police gets restraining order and gets her thrown out and she goes to local shelter...then she goes to florida again...He is finally done with her...I start staying with him in March and over time moved in more and more...By july I have most of my stuff in his home and we were talking about future and renting out my place...Says he loves me that nobody ever loved him like me...Nobody ever loved his daughter like me not even her mother(alcholic who cheated on him)from March to July he told me he had blocked the ex and had no contact>>>at least twice he lied I found out they were still talking and he would come and cry and say he was confused but chose to be with me>>>He blocks her again>>>My spidy senses where up the time I was living with him but I loved him and over looked things....He would pick fights I would catch him in lies...Also in July I find out he was cheating with a woman i knew from FB both the woman and I spoke and the affair was over...He cried said his insecurities drive him...He is very insecure after he got cheated on he started to work out but was/is never happy with his looks...Has more female friends I know because they feed his ego...He is not a bad looking man...But he became handsome to me the more I fell in love with him...so now a third time i find out he is talking with ex again and they even meet...I got acess to his email and saw there were other woman he had beenwith thru at diffrent times thru out our relationship I also found out back in oct he brought ex back from florida paid for tickets she didnt show up on door step...so between oct and march he was telling her he was in relationship with her and he was telling me he was in relationship with me...While she was in shelter they were meeting everyday when i was at work(he lost job the prior oct)and going to motel to have sex...Then I see while I was living with her he paid for her tickets again brought her back and was saying i was a paying tenent and that he wanted to be with her>>>But when the day came he left her at airport and decided to stay with me...she moves upstate he blocks her again >>>so I think and we move on...I forgive the infedelity but have hard time trusting...find out this oct he saw ex one night aagain...I leave move everything out...Go to florida for two weeks...he worked me hard crying calling texting he stared therapy because that was one of the terms I told him for us to stay together so he can learn to love himself so he can love me...So i come back from florida and a see a new girl on FB flirting outright I told her that he was my boyfriend and she needs to stop...She tells me she just jokes around with him she has boyfriend and nothing is going on...I stay a week with him and all we do is fight about her...I say finally u get rid of ex(which he finally did i spoke with her myself...and he realized she was manipulating him with sex and just wanting him for a free ride) now we have this girl...Of course he says its nothing he wont stop being friends with her he cant take the fighting>>>I said if our relationship is more important than u would stop talking with her...I leave for a cuple days and fingd out he met up with this girl for a drink...(which by the way he thinks is fine...meeting is woman friends for drinks who I dont know and most of them he leads them to believe he is single) her boyfriend finds out has her block my boyfriend unfriend him on FB I had him block her...I know this sounds all jumbled and a mess there is sooo much more...not until 11 months later did he take passcode off phone to try and prove to me I can trust him...When i ask who is texteing hes like i dont ask u...I say i never cheated on u but if u ever want to look or ask feel free I have nothing to hide....what it comes down to is I have never given 150% to a relationship like I have this one...Im feeling pathetic...I know I love him but not in love anymore but lie and pretend Iam>>>I dont know why Im not just letting him go!!!!!! I know I can never trust again he is a chronic cheater and liar...a part of me thinks well he started therapy and even Church(someone who was so against it) he went with me last Sun he loved it and we are suppose to go Monday for the new year...I spent Christmas with him we have one major fight of course he says he cant handel I say I handeled your crap for year in half u cant handel a fight(It did last for hours) im going to my place tonight...I have always been independant...I never felt I need a man to complete me or take care of me...I still feel this way just dont know why I wont let go after all he has done!!!!!! Obviously my insecurities I have never felt so open and comfortable with someone...But I know he is sooooo wrong in so many ways...My therapist said it will take years of therapy to even make a dent in him he has cheated on all exes he is a chronic cheater and liar...I dont know what is wromg with me!!!!!! All I Know is I need to get out of this relationship if thats what you call it...Thank You for Listening,

 
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