Re: is this codependency?
I have a 5 year old son and he and his dad do things on the weekend (since he's busy working during the week). Maybe chalk it up to male bonding? I don't know if it's codependent. It could be if he has no other friends or hobbies and is using your son as his friend. Does he discipline him? Does he want to be his friend more than his parent? I see nothing wrong with him taking a shower and doing things around the house when he's sleeping. It's just easier that way. That's what I do. I also would prefer to bring my son on a vacation, but he should still be able to go on business trips without him. It's almost like he's acting like a single parent and you're just an accessory. At least he is interested in spending time with you when he's in preschool. I guess most of it seems okay to me (but then I'm on the codependent side), except for when you said he has no hobbies, wouldn't let you bathe him, take him for haircuts, go to the doctor with him, and that your son didn't want to go to his graduation. If you don't have alone time with your son, you can't bond with him. I kind of feel that way when my husband takes my son to the gym on the weekends. The weekends are the only time my husband can watch my daughter and when I could have alone time with my son. When they are off doing things it's like they are avoiding me and that gets me angry because it's like he's teaching our son to avoid me. On the other hand, I think boys relate to their fathers, and men male bond by doing activities together. But it seems like maybe your husband either doesn't trust you, or is a control freak. Can you talk to him about it? I know it can be very upsetting when you feel like you are being separated from your own kid. My son wants to still pee with his dad. When I try to get him to go pee, he doesn't want to. If his dad is not around, he'll pee by himself. When his dad is around, it's like he's reverting to not being able to pee by himself. I think it could be he just wants time with his dad but not in an appropriate way. When your son didn't want to go to the graduation, was it some other reason, like he was scared, and so he said he wanted his dad as an excuse?