It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Codependency Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-30-2013, 05:57 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: milwaukee, wi
Posts: 2
compa HB User
Unhappy Adult son

Hello,

My son is 30 years old, employed and always asks us for money. He lives paycheck to before paycheck. We help him out with his cell phone bill, food and gas, but can't always. What would you suggest? We hate to tell him no, but seems he is taking advantage and not being responsible. We do not want to enable him not to save as I have been repeatedly telling him.He just doesn't want to listen.

A major problem is he is living in my stepfather's house who has passed away last year. My stepfather's adult son wants my son to move out so that he can rent the house out to someone. My stepfather did not leave a will and the house has been refinanced. My son's argument is he has lived there for 10 years and took care of my stepfather (his stepgrandfather). He has gone to court and the judge ordered him to move out. My husband and I are at wits end. Please help! Thanks

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 07-30-2013, 06:22 PM   #2
Facilitator
(female)
 
Seraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,857
Seraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB UserSeraph HB User
Re: Adult son

It is time that this man stood on his own feet. Why would you do this? It is wrecking any chance he has to live a healthy responsible life. You are teaching him to be an entitled bum. I know it is hard to break old patterns, but the answer lies in you and your husband shaping up. Why wouldn't your son take advantage of you, you have trained him to. Ask yourself whether you are doing it to make you feel good, because there is no other reason for this. He will learn once he has had to bail himself out a few times. It will be hard to watch, but, hey, a lot of guys this age are husbands and fathers. He is 30 not 13! Sera

 
The Following User Says Thank You to Seraph For This Useful Post:
compa (07-31-2013)
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 07-30-2013, 07:14 PM   #3
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: milwaukee, wi
Posts: 2
compa HB User
Re: Adult son

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seraph View Post
It is time that this man stood on his own feet. Why would you do this? It is wrecking any chance he has to live a healthy responsible life. You are teaching him to be an entitled bum. I know it is hard to break old patterns, but the answer lies in you and your husband shaping up. Why wouldn't your son take advantage of you, you have trained him to. Ask yourself whether you are doing it to make you feel good, because there is no other reason for this. He will learn once he has had to bail himself out a few times. It will be hard to watch, but, hey, a lot of guys this age are husbands and fathers. He is 30 not 13! Sera
Sara, you are right 100%. We will not give in to his antics any longer. Thank you for replying and offering your recommendations.

Blessings to you,
Compa

 
Closed Thread




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:02 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!